Great timing!

Look what Jude lost last night....just in time for school pictures today!

The dangers of multitasking...

I read a book once to learn how to manage my time better, and be more efficient in my housework, etc. One chapter was titled "Microwave Moments", and gave examples of how to make better use of one's time. For example, while waiting for your popcorn to pop, you can wipe down the kitchen counters, or while brushing your teeth, you can wipe down your bathroom sink and counters. Another good idea is to clean the shower while you are in it. You get the idea. It's brilliant...

....Unless you have signs of alzheimers disease, or too many children to keep track of. For example, I learned NOT to run and quickly throw a load of clothes in the washing machine while filling up the kitchen sink with water for mopping. I learned once NOT to go check the mail while waiting for a quesadilla to finish warming. Today I learned NOT to clean a bathroom while waiting for a toddler to find a hiding spot for hide-and-seek. Attached is a picture of how I found her in her favorite hiding spot...under her bed.

Special Needs

Special needs....Why would we voluntarily sign up to be the parents of a child with "special needs"? After all, hasn't every expectant parent said, "We don't care if it's a boy or a girl as long as it's healthy!"

All I can say, is that ever since I was a little girl (ask my parents), I used to want to adopt handicapped children. I believe the Lord put that on my heart from a very early age. I remember going to visit the orphanages with my missionary parents in Mexico, and seeing so many deformed and disabled children. A missionary friend of my parents had adopted 3 boys, one who was born with a terrible skin disease as a result of being a product of incest. He had a cleft palate/lip, and basically had no skin. He constantly had infections all over his body, and ended up dying at the age of 10. This made an impact on my life. Later I babysat for a boy who had fallen off the roof when he was 2 years old, and suffered severe brain damage as a result. I adored him and he loved me too! In college I volunteered in a school for handicapped children and worked in a group home for mentally retarded adults. It was my favorite job ever.

So poor John, when we first talked about marriage, I told him of my desire to adopt. Not just adopt, but adopt a child that nobody else would want. He said he would be "open" to it. It came up again in our pre-marriage counseling, and again, he said he was "open" to it. So....4 healthy children later, I still had that strong desire to adopt. Last winter during basketball season, Liesel had a girl on her team who had a younger 4 year old sister with Down Syndrome. While we waited for practice to be done, little H. and I would talk and smile at each other (actually, I talked, and she smiled). After a few practices, I came home one night and told John I wanted to adopt a child with Downs. Maybe he thought I was kidding, he didn't really respond. I told him again. He didn't say much.

After a few sleepless, tearful nights and a lot of tears shed during my quiet times, I began to "google" special needs adoption, specifically Down Syndrome adoption. I was very surprised to find out that in the U.S. there is a 200+ family waiting list to adopt a child with Down Syndrome! (even though 85-90% of fetuses diagnosed with Downs are aborted!! So sad). But I also learned that it is just the opposite in many other countries. Children born with DS or any other disability, in some countries, are abandoned 99% of the time, and are rarely adopted! So...I found my new favorite website reecesrainbow.com My new favorite person, Andrea, is dedicated to promote the international adoption of children with Down syndrome as well as other disabilities. I emailed her many many times, and learned about many of the children that were waiting. Well John was still not QUITE ready, but still "open" as he always had been before. ("Open", as long as the child was high functioning, no medical concerns, no heart defect, etc.)

Then....June 15....I will never forget that day. There was an email sent from Kelly, a humanitarian aide who had visited Alina several times in her little orphanage. She told the group about this sweet little girl who lays in her crib day and night. She can't crawl, she can't even sit up, but she has a smile that lights up the room. She can't talk or feed herself, but she giggles when you tickle her. She has a heart defect and will need surgery. She is 3 1/2. The policy of the country where she lives, is to send the unadopted handicapped orphans to a mental institution, where most will die soon afterward. She had 6 months before she would be sent there to die. I forwarded the email to John, knowing this little girl would not fit our "qualifications", and spent the rest of the day crying and praying for God to bring her a family that would save her from that awful, awful place, and love her forever.

Little did I know what the Lord was doing in John's heart as well when he received the same email. I will never forget the moment he called, and I thought he had been crying as well. He said, "I want her, do you?" YES!!! I DO!!! My heart was pounding as I typed to Andrea: We want her. Please help us through this. We are scared, but we KNOW God will give us the strength to get through every step!

About a week later, in a moment of panic, John opened his Bible and he read:

1 Peter 3: 13-17, which reads " 13 Who is going to harm you if you are eager to do good? 14 But even if you should suffer for what is right, you are blessed. "Do not fear what they fear[a]; do not be frightened."[b] 15 But in your hearts set apart Christ as Lord. Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect, 16 keeping a clear conscience, so that those who speak maliciously against your good behavior in Christ may be ashamed of their slander. 17 It is better, if it is God's will, to suffer for doing good than for doing evil."

We both felt this was the most perfect confirmation from the Lord that we were indeed in His will, and that He would bless our faith in accepting the challenge and the adventure that He was offering us.

So why would we take on a special needs child? Well, my response to that is.... I believe EVERY child has "special" needs if the parents will take the time to discover them. For that matter, don't we all have special needs? I do! Some are apparent from the outside and others are hidden deep in the heart. Either way, Jesus offers healing, deliverance. He wants to be Ava's Saviour, and mine. And yours.

A twist on the Beatitudes

(Jill I stole this from one of your friend's blogs)

Beatitudes for People with Special Needs

BLESSED ARE YOU who take time to listen to difficult speech, for you help us to know that if we persevere we can be understood.

BLESSED ARE YOU who walk with us in public places, and ignore the stares of strangers, for in your friendship we feel good to be ourselves.

BLESSED ARE YOU who never bid us to "hurry up" and, more blessed, you who do not snatch our tasks from our hands to do them for us, for often we need time rather than help.

BLESSED ARE YOU who stand beside us as we enter new and untried ventures, for our unsuredness will be outweighed by the times when we surprise ourselves and you.

BLESSED ARE YOU who ask for our help and realize our giftedness for our greatest need is to be needed.

BLESSED ARE YOU who help us with the graciousness of Christ, for often we need the help we cannot ask for.

BLESSED ARE YOU when, by all things, you assure us that what makes us individuals is not our particular disability or difficulty but our beautiful God-given personhood which no handicapping condition can confine.

REJOICE AND BE EXCEEDINGLY GLAD for your understanding and love have opened doors for us to enjoy life to its full and you have helped us believe in ourselves as valued and gifted people.

3-pound watermelon

In kindergarten the kids were supposed to estimate the weight of a watermelon. When I peeked into the classroom I could see some kids guessed 1000 pounds, some guessed 10 pounds. Jude guessed the lowest, only 3 pounds. The actual weight was 20 pounds. When I asked him today about it, he said, "Well, it was only 3 pounds to me because I'm so strong."

crazy legs

Hope wanted me to carry her through the school parking lot. I said, "Why can't you just walk?" She said, "Because my legs are just crazy".

Speaking of Princesses....

Hope is having a birthday soon. She will be 3. She has been telling everyone she is having a pink clown come to her party. So what is a mother to do but locate a "pink clown" to attend the party? Anybody know of one that is cheap? She loved Huffy, who came to our neighbor's party last year, and for a year she has been telling everyone that Huffy will be coming to her party. Then just a few weeks ago she decided that since Huffy is a boy clown, he won't like princess parties, so we are going to have a girl clown! So I guess she has this thing all planned out....the problem is, everytime she gets mad at someone, she says they can't come to her "boat-day party". Today she said, "Daddy, you can't come to my boat-day party anymore". Then soon afterwards, I was un-invited to her boat-day party, too. By the end of the day, I think the only one who is still invited is the pink clown that we haven't tracked down yet!

Fluffy Gonzales

Hope found a dead cicada, or was it a locust? I have no idea if there is a difference. It was a big winged bug. She picked it up and carried it around all day, and named it "Fluffy" Gonzalez. I have no idea where she came up with a name like Fluffy Gonzalez. By the end of the day, the bug had become "Princess Fluffy Gonzalez".

Kids are funny

After we rolled the car window back up after dumping some coins in the fireman's boot (donation for Jerry's Kids, MDA), Simeon asked, "Why don't they just get jobs?!"

Our weekend guest

A couple more pictures of Coco, our weekend guest....

A Weekend Surprise

The wonderful guy I married decided that since the kids would be out of school on Friday we should plan a fun surprise weekend getaway. We picked them up from school on Thursday (with all the suitcases packed in the back of the suburban, covered with blankets), and told them we'd have some errands to run. They kept asking where we were going. We said to the dairy (the errand they hate the most, because it takes 30 minutes to get there). We drove and drove, and "got lost". So we stopped for dinner at Pizza Hut, stopped to see the scenery along the way, then "turned around to come home". About 9pm everyone had gone to sleep, and at 9:30 we arrived in Branson. We woke the kids up as we pulled into the hotel parking lot. They were so confused. They kept asking "Are we still lost? Are we in Bartlesville?" It was so fun to hear their squeals when they finally figured out we were in Branson and would be going to Silver Dollar City the next day!

It just so happened, too, that Liesel was the student of the week, and part of that entails bringing home the second grade class "pet", a stuffed cheetah named Coco. So Coco had the privilege of being our weekend guest, and actually got into the amusement park for free, although he wasn't tall enough to ride most of the rides. We did, however, sneak him on a couple of the milder ones. Evidently, cheetahs have weak stomaches (We also learned, just in the nick of time that cheetahs can't swim). We had loads of fun, especially considering that most of the kids were in school, and there was never a wait for any of the rides!

I do have to say, that we all kept feeling like someone was missing, and kept talking about how things would be different when we come back next year (maybe) with Ava. In the car, we wondered where Ava would sit (Hope said on HER lap), and we realized we would have to separate on the Lost River of the Ozarks, as the raft only seats 6, and Liesel took note that Ava would not be able to ride Fire in the Hole, because nobody with heart trouble is allowed to ride. We also realized we may have to get a suite next time, as there were too many kids and too many blankets sprawled all over the floor in the hotel room to get to the bathroom in the middle of the night! Life is exciting in the Urban's house....and about to get more exciting!

Tears again

I just got back from the Open House of Ava's future school for disabled children, "The Little Lighthouse". I knew this was a great school. I volunteered there for lunchtime feeding when I was in college. But I had a whole new perspective today. A mother's perspective. I still can't believe I will get to be the mother of one of these special kids!! Oh, the wonderful resources we will have when we become the official parents of Ava!

Hope kept asking me, "Mommy, what is that? What is that for?", pointing to all the special chairs and walkers. Things I had never seen before! We got to peek into the classrooms where the children were doing their physical therapy, rolling and crawling on mats on the gym floor, coloring at the table. We saw kids with hearing aides, kids with walkers, kids in wheelchairs, kids on the floor on boppy pillows. Of course the ones who really caught my attention were the ones with Down Sydrome. One little girl was playing peek-a-boo with her teacher, and there was another little girl learning how to hold a crayon and draw with it, and a little boy rocking himself in a teeny tiny rocking chair...

Then there was a luncheon with a video about how the school started 35 years ago. A woman named Marcia Mitchell (you can read her book, Milestones and Miracles) had a child who was blind, and there was no resources for her here in Tulsa. So she and another mother started this school, and several others have been modeled after it. One of the staff members is going to move back to the Phillipines where she is from to start one there too! The best part of the whole thing is...it's offered at no cost. It is run off of private donations only, and they do not accept any government funding. I sensed God's presence so strong today...in a special little place called....The Little Lighthouse.

blue crayons

Evidently a blue crayon went through the washing machine. I say "evidently" because I never actually saw the blue crayon, or even remnants of a crayon wrapper for that matter, but only little multiple blue "waxy" stains all over the clothes that I washed yesterday. I wish I would have discovered it after the first load, but I only discovered it after the second load. I still can't figure where this crayon came from but I can't figure out what else it would be causing blue spots all over the kids' BRAND NEW school clothes. Let's just say, there is a reason I shop Good Will and consignment. I would be really upset right now otherwise! Anyone know how to remove blue crayon stains?

Changes

I can't believe how much easier my life has gotten these last couple of weeks. I had no idea how loud and how busy my house was until I realized how quiet it could be when there are only two people in it. I have been home schooling my kids since the very beginning. And I could never understand why, at 4:00 when the neighbor kids got off the school bus, they would run straight to OUR house instead of going home to eat their own snacks or say hello to their mother!

This is our first year to try "real" school. I halfway worried all summer, and cried 3 times during the open house. I'm sure 4th grade teachers are not used to see mothers crying during Open House!! HA Embarrassing!

But they all seem to be adjusting really well. I really expected some "bumps", some phone calls home, or tears while being dropped off. But....nothing so far. Praise God for an easy transition! In fact, they all decided they wanted to ride the school bus!! Sad for me, but I can imagine how much fun it would be for a 6 year old boy to get to ride in a giant yellow vehicle with a bunch of other kids....without a seatbelt at that! So we worked out a compromise. Let me tell you how scary and weird it was watching my kids get on the school bus with this total stranger...as nice as I'm sure he is. :) Here is a picture of their first day riding the school bus!

Recipe for Living to be 100 years old

I just got back from the school. I had to deliver 2 lunchboxes that got left at home! In Liesel's hallway are displayed the kids' writing assignments for last week: "My Recipe for Living to be 100".

It was really hilarious to read all the second graders' thoughts on this. Most of the answers were related to exercising and what you eat. A lot of apples, a lot of grapefruits, riding your bike 3 times a week, walking every day. The class clown wrote, "Eating stinky tennis shoes", someone else wrote, "Going to San Antonio". Here is what Liesel wrote:

My Recipe for Living to be 100

Love God Forever
Never talk to strangers
Don't run away
Eat a lot of apples

Precious boy

My kids eat a lot! Seems that every 5 minutes someone is "starving" in my house. In a typical moment of 4 kids begging me for a snack from the "snack basket" at 4:35pm as I am trying to set the table and prepare dinner, or telling me they are dying of thirst as we drive down the highway 5 minutes from home, I informed them: YOU ARE NOT STARVING. YOU ARE NOT DYING OF THIRST. A PERSON CAN SURVIVE FOR 3 WEEKS WITHOUT FOOD AND 3 DAYS WITHOUT WATER. YOU ARE NOT STARVING.

For so many months we have prayed for the orphans of the world, then prayed about adopting one, and ever since we have made the decision to adopt, my kids have been under the impression that we are saving up our money to "buy" her. I guess I should explain, but it is so cute to hear their prayers and the funny thoughts that go through their mind through this adoption process. We have talked about various ways we could cut back in order to put more towards the adoption fund. Tonight John and I were looking at the food budget, trying to do better on grocery spending, and he mentioned how much he loves beans and rice, and maybe we could do like the people of Mexico and just eat them all the time....We would REALLY save money that way!

Well Jude, bless his heart was overhearing this conversation, and he said, "Hey Dad, I know.....Lets just not buy any food! We could survive 3 weeks without food! That way we could buy Ava sooner!"

Waiting

I always thought I was a patient person. But I can't believe how slowly the time is going by as we wait for our INS approval. We submitted our I-600A forms over 2 months ago.

I still look at Ava's picture at least a dozen times a day, and I wonder if anyone is holding her or loving her. I wonder if she even understands the concept of belonging to someone, and I wonder if she longs for a mother as much as I am longing for her.

Jesus, please let her feel your love and our love for her while she waits for us. Thank you for being her Shepherd and hearing her needs even when she can't speak them. Let her rest peacefully in your presence until I can rock her in my arms. Keep her heart strong until we can come rescue her and get her the medical help she so desperately needs. Thank you for being her Father these years that she hasn't had one. We feel so honored that you would offer this child to us. We gladly receive her into our hearts and into our family. In the good times we will thank you for the joys she brings us and in the difficult times we will be blessed because we will be doing as unto YOU. We will do our best to be your hands and arms and voice to her. We consider it a privilege to call Ava...."ours". You have done so much for us, and we are now happy to offer to you the gift of a family to your little lamb Ava, who you love so much.

The Greatest Hunger

"Being unwanted, unloved, uncared for, forgotten by everybody, I think that is a much greater hunger, a much greater poverty than the person who has nothing to eat."

-Mother Teresa

Every Child Has a Name

I am the Good Shepherd. I know my sheep as the Father knows me. And My sheep know Me.(Jn 10:14)

The Sheperd knows His sheep. He calls them by name.

We see a crowd, we see exactly that, a crowd...We see people, not persons, but people. A herd of humans. A flock of faces. That's what we see.

But not so with the Shepherd. To Him, every face is different. Every face is a story. Every face is a child. Every child has a name...

The Shepherd knows His sheep. He knows each one by name. The Shepherd knows you. He knows your name. And He will never forget it.

Max Lucado

Children are a gift from God

I got teary-eyed when I received this gift from Melissa and Sharon, our house guests from Virginia Beach. "Children are a Gift from God." Look closely at the names cross-stitched at the bottom. :)What a warm and beautiful feeling I had when I read this.

I really appreciated the timing of this gift, as that very morning I took Hope to the car wash to vacuum out the vehicle. I kept wondering why the suction was lasting so long. After all, I had only put in 3 quarters. I kept vacuuming though, even though technically I could have been finished. I didn't want to waste any suction! I finally realized that Hope had gotten ahold of my coin purse, and had been dropping in the coin slot all my quarters....and dimes...and nickels, and pennies. When I looked in the slot to see if I could retrieve any of my quarters, I saw that she had stuffed 3 bills in there as well!!! Yep! Children are a blessing! She was trying to be helpful!