Special Needs

Special needs....Why would we voluntarily sign up to be the parents of a child with "special needs"? After all, hasn't every expectant parent said, "We don't care if it's a boy or a girl as long as it's healthy!"

All I can say, is that ever since I was a little girl (ask my parents), I used to want to adopt handicapped children. I believe the Lord put that on my heart from a very early age. I remember going to visit the orphanages with my missionary parents in Mexico, and seeing so many deformed and disabled children. A missionary friend of my parents had adopted 3 boys, one who was born with a terrible skin disease as a result of being a product of incest. He had a cleft palate/lip, and basically had no skin. He constantly had infections all over his body, and ended up dying at the age of 10. This made an impact on my life. Later I babysat for a boy who had fallen off the roof when he was 2 years old, and suffered severe brain damage as a result. I adored him and he loved me too! In college I volunteered in a school for handicapped children and worked in a group home for mentally retarded adults. It was my favorite job ever.

So poor John, when we first talked about marriage, I told him of my desire to adopt. Not just adopt, but adopt a child that nobody else would want. He said he would be "open" to it. It came up again in our pre-marriage counseling, and again, he said he was "open" to it. So....4 healthy children later, I still had that strong desire to adopt. Last winter during basketball season, Liesel had a girl on her team who had a younger 4 year old sister with Down Syndrome. While we waited for practice to be done, little H. and I would talk and smile at each other (actually, I talked, and she smiled). After a few practices, I came home one night and told John I wanted to adopt a child with Downs. Maybe he thought I was kidding, he didn't really respond. I told him again. He didn't say much.

After a few sleepless, tearful nights and a lot of tears shed during my quiet times, I began to "google" special needs adoption, specifically Down Syndrome adoption. I was very surprised to find out that in the U.S. there is a 200+ family waiting list to adopt a child with Down Syndrome! (even though 85-90% of fetuses diagnosed with Downs are aborted!! So sad). But I also learned that it is just the opposite in many other countries. Children born with DS or any other disability, in some countries, are abandoned 99% of the time, and are rarely adopted! So...I found my new favorite website reecesrainbow.com My new favorite person, Andrea, is dedicated to promote the international adoption of children with Down syndrome as well as other disabilities. I emailed her many many times, and learned about many of the children that were waiting. Well John was still not QUITE ready, but still "open" as he always had been before. ("Open", as long as the child was high functioning, no medical concerns, no heart defect, etc.)

Then....June 15....I will never forget that day. There was an email sent from Kelly, a humanitarian aide who had visited Alina several times in her little orphanage. She told the group about this sweet little girl who lays in her crib day and night. She can't crawl, she can't even sit up, but she has a smile that lights up the room. She can't talk or feed herself, but she giggles when you tickle her. She has a heart defect and will need surgery. She is 3 1/2. The policy of the country where she lives, is to send the unadopted handicapped orphans to a mental institution, where most will die soon afterward. She had 6 months before she would be sent there to die. I forwarded the email to John, knowing this little girl would not fit our "qualifications", and spent the rest of the day crying and praying for God to bring her a family that would save her from that awful, awful place, and love her forever.

Little did I know what the Lord was doing in John's heart as well when he received the same email. I will never forget the moment he called, and I thought he had been crying as well. He said, "I want her, do you?" YES!!! I DO!!! My heart was pounding as I typed to Andrea: We want her. Please help us through this. We are scared, but we KNOW God will give us the strength to get through every step!

About a week later, in a moment of panic, John opened his Bible and he read:

1 Peter 3: 13-17, which reads " 13 Who is going to harm you if you are eager to do good? 14 But even if you should suffer for what is right, you are blessed. "Do not fear what they fear[a]; do not be frightened."[b] 15 But in your hearts set apart Christ as Lord. Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect, 16 keeping a clear conscience, so that those who speak maliciously against your good behavior in Christ may be ashamed of their slander. 17 It is better, if it is God's will, to suffer for doing good than for doing evil."

We both felt this was the most perfect confirmation from the Lord that we were indeed in His will, and that He would bless our faith in accepting the challenge and the adventure that He was offering us.

So why would we take on a special needs child? Well, my response to that is.... I believe EVERY child has "special" needs if the parents will take the time to discover them. For that matter, don't we all have special needs? I do! Some are apparent from the outside and others are hidden deep in the heart. Either way, Jesus offers healing, deliverance. He wants to be Ava's Saviour, and mine. And yours.