What we all got for Christmas

Jude: a cowhide drum (thanks to Opa and Oma who just returned from Africa and 13 other countries)


Hope: a kitchen dish set (Her Grandma Mary Nell knows her well. Thanks Grandma!)


Ava: earrings, slippers (won't she look adorable in them?), and a teddy bear


John: thermal socks, a stocking cap, and a Russian/English dictionary. Can we say "practical"?


Simeon: two rocks (before you feel too sorry for him, you must realize this boy dreams of being an archealogist, and these rocks came straight from the Dead Sea and the Jordan River where Jesus was baptized. "Pretty dang exciting", as Nacho Libre would say).


Liesel: Webkinz, of course (and her cousin Evi got one to match) and handknit hats from Oma

Oma is very popular!!

Opa is pretty popular too!

Merry Christmas from the Urban Family!!

Not bad for the first try!! I told the kids that everyone could smile and get it over with, or we could make silly faces, bunny ears, look in opposite directions, pinch each other, etc, etc, and go on and on until we got it right. It helped that this was taken right before lunch and everybody was starving! We tried to get the dog in but she is so old she feels the need to lie down all the time.



This ornament was a gift from my friend Tina this summer right after we decided to adopt and decided her name would be Ava. Did I start crying when I opened it? Of course I did.



This is what I've been seeing and hearing all week: "Mom, PLEASE can we open JUST ONE? Pleeeaaase?"



"Mommy, I'm ready to go play in the snow now" (Check out the crown over the stocking cap, and the socks for mittens, not to mention the coat buttoned wrong and the mini skirt hiked way up)

Merry Christmas

Money for Jesus

Hope loves coins! She loves to collect them in a pocket, a sock, a bowl, any container she can get her hands on. Today it was a toothpick holder. She was filling up her toothpick holder with coins, and here is how the conversation went:

Me: "Hope, what are you doing?"
Hope: "I'm getting money for Jesus."
Me: "Why are you doing that?"
Hope: "Because He doesn't have any. Moses has a lot of money but he won't share with Jesus."

Good grief! What are they teaching kids in Sunday School these days?

Adoption Progress....I think?

We got word yesterday that our paperwork at the SDA had gotten misplaced. We are thankful to our facilitator, who we will meet in Ukraine, for getting to the bottom of it and finding out what the delays have been. WE ARE SO CLOSE NOW! We believe we will have a travel date within the next week or so. The waiting has been so hard, but we know it will all be worth it in the end, when we get to call that little girl..."Ours".

Gingerbread House Disaster

Well, the gingerbread house did not quite turn out like we hoped. It was falling apart almost before we even started, the roof kept sliding down, and the sides kept falling over. In the process of trying to secure all the pieces together, the roof broke in half, and there was nothing more we could do.

PLAN B: We decorated gingerbread doors, wall segments, and roof panels. Nobody complained (Well, except for me- I was hoping to get a great picture of the cute little decorated gingerbread house, with smiling children all around).

Instead, we got these....

Sweet Hope-Isn't obvious why I love this girl?

Hope being Mary

She's "bundled" up, wearing her boots, and ready to go play in the 35 degree weather

She loves to make soap bubble crowns and pretend she is a princess

Making melodies in my heart

I had a bad day yesterday. On top of my frustrations of waiting...and waiting...and waiting... for our SDA appointment, and different rumors we are hearing about Ukraine adoptions, I also found out that there has been some bullying going on towards one of my kids. Dealing with the school counselor and a particular neighbor left me emotionally exhausted and just downright grumpy yesterday.

Hope broke out into this song. Leave it to Hope to brighten my day!! Today is a new day, kids are out of school, we are going to make a gingerbread house, spend time as a family, and "make a melody in our hearts" today. :)

More Christmas Memories

Looking at last year's Christmas pictures I stumbled across this Christmas memory. Jude got very attached to this particular gingerbread man that he decorated. As you can see, they became very good friends...that is, until Jude got hungry and took a bite out of its leg. He began to cry and cry, "Why did I do that?! I loved that gingerbread man!" Nothing could fix it. A new leg glued on with icing wouldn't fix it, a brand new gingerbread man wouldn't alleviate the pain and grief he felt. I think he cried for about an hour and a half that day. I'll never forget the wailing coming from his bedroom, his face buried in his pillow, crying, "Why? Why? Why did I do that?!"

So John comes home and spends about 5 minutes in his room talking to him. They both come out smiling, and Jude is eating the rest of the cookie that he had been gripping for the last 90 minutes. Shocked, I whispered, "What did you say?"

John answered, "I told him that gingerbread men are happiest when they are eaten." That's all it took. Gee, why didn't I think of that?

Kids and public restrooms

One of the things I don't care for about eating as a family at restaurants is the fact that I spend more time in the restroom than I do sitting and enjoying my meal. Inevitably, somebody has to "Go #2" right in the middle of dinner, and I end up in the restroom waiting on them, only to have to return to finish my enchiladas and refried beans. I read a blog this morning with a funny bathroom story and it reminded me of this one, that I have never written down. I thought I better do that, because this is one that shouldn't be forgotten.

A while back we went out to eat with another family, and my 3yr. old, at the time (I won't mention names), had to "poop" and the 1yr. old had a dirty diaper. So I took both of them to the bathroom. After I changed the diaper, we waited and waited for the 3 yr. old to finish. While we waited I decided to provide some entertainment.

Thinking we were the only ones in the bathroom, I lifted the 1yr. old onto my shoulders, leaned her over the bathroom stall, and moved her lips with my finger, my voice talking like a baby, saying, "Hurry up, will ya? The food is getting cold! Come on, hurry it up!"....No response. "Hello? Are you OK in there? Did you fall in?"....No response. "HELLO?!".....At this point, a little old lady answered, very meekly and timidly, "hello". I looked under the stall, and lo and behold it was not the little pair of 3yr. old's shoes I was expecting to see, but a pair of ladies' shoes. The toddler shoes were dangling under the stall next door. OOOOPPPPPS!

Needless to say, I was very embarrassed when she finally came out. I apologized but she didn't say much. And looking in the mirror I could see my face was very red.

My kind of Santa

We went out to eat at Zio's after church today, and as we were paying and getting ready to leave, THIS GUY (I googled him) walks in. He was wearing regular street clothes, not dressed like Santa at all, but I was amazed at the number of kids who were drawn to him anyway. I noticed him pulling out candy canes from his pocket, so we went over to say hello too. My nephew asked him, "What's your name?" And "Santa" said, "What do you think my name is?" Then he reached in his pocket again and pulled out some more candy canes, and gave the kids this card that says:

God loves you. He gave you the best gift of all. His Son, Jesus Christ.

On the back of the card it had the story of the candy cane, the red and white stripes representing Christ's blood and forgiveness of our sins, the "J" representing a sheperd's staff, and when turned upside down, a J for Jesus. I loved this man! My kids thought it was pretty cool to see Santa while he was officially off duty in his street clothes, and to see he is just as generous and kind even when he's not dressed up and sitting in a mall.....not to mention he loves Jesus too! :) Thanks Santa for making our day.

Oops!

My kids were standing over my shoulder watching my last blog, and they were very upset with me for mentioning only Dennis, and not any of the other kids our family sponsored.

For teachers' Christmas gifts this year, instead of buying a mug or Hershey's Kisses, we let each of the kids pick an orphan to sponsor in their teacher's name. Each of these children has Down Syndrome like our Ava, and each sponsorship from Reece's Rainbow came with an angel ornament with a picture of the sponsored child. We have 4 beautiful ornaments (5 actually, since Hope has two teachers) with these sweet faces on them to hand out next week to our teachers.

Simeon picked Josue, age 2..
(for his teacher, Mrs. Seematter)


Liesel picked...Linh, age 7
(for her teacher Mrs. Stone)


Jude's pick...Slava, age 2
(For Miss Enkers)


And last but not least, Hope picked Nazar, age 2
(For Mrs. Douglas and Mrs. Connor)

I wonder WHICH ONE Ava would have picked!? By the way, if you scroll down to the very bottom, you can see how many of these orphans have found their forever families in the six weeks that this fundraiser has been taking place! And I think little Josue is just on the verge!

Dennis

This little guy is an orphan hoping to find a family soon. He is two and his name is Dennis. Liesel wants me to clarify...if you have seen the movie, or read the cartoon, this Dennis is NOT a menace. He is a sweetheart. I think he would make a wonderful son, don't you?

My niece Heather (Thank you Heather!) is class president of her high school in New Mexico. This winter her school did a fundraiser to provide an adoption grant for Dennis. They did a wonderful job, and were able to raise over $1,000 to help with his adoption costs. You can help too by going to Reece's Rainbow and donating through PayPal. Or better yet, maybe you or a family you know needs a little boy to brighten their lives!

Last year's attempt at Christmas photos

I saw a Christmas photo today of a family with 7 kids. They complained that they couldn't get everyone looking at the camera at once. That reminded me of why wer'e not taking Christmas pictures this year. Here is why......

That and somebody is missing, and it just doesn't seem right to take a family photo without her!

(One of my children, I won't mention who, has very little need for discipline. I'm sure it's not obvious which one, is it?)

What we did without electricity all week....

Mailed a special package to send to
Ava containing kisses, drawings, and the hand-knit blanket made by Oma.

Ate crow and humble pie

We made fun of people who went out and bought generators, then repented when we got an offer to borrow one from someone who didn't need theirs anymore. :)

We stayed warm by the fireplace (and learned how to cook on an open fire-I have the burnmarks on my forearms to prove it)

Mattress flips...

We drew pictures to send to Ava

Has it only been 4 days?!

I'm glad I'm not a pioneer or an Eskimo. I'm not sure I would have done well. An ice storm hit Oklahoma early this week, and we have been without power since Sunday night.

Ice Tornado

... no electricity is the reason we haven't been blogging....

Here is what our backyard looks like:

Tulsa looks like an ice tornado hit. The tops of almost every single tree is broken off. Driving through neighborhoods with trees is almost impossible. We are safe and warm with our fire upstairs and "camping out" is fun for the kiddos. John.

FAQ #8 "So how did all this come about?"

This is the funniest question of all. Because how am I supposed to answer that in one sentence or even one sitting?

-Charissa loved children
-John loved children
-We wanted a bunch of them
-Charissa wanted to adopt a child with a disability (discussed in 1994)
-John said he was "open" to adopt a child with a disability (in 1994)
-We had a bunch of kids (if you think 4 is a bunch of kids)-Feb 1998-Sep 2004
-Charissa started looking for family volunteer opportunities to provide respite care for parents of disabled children-2006 (Every child in the household had to be at least 16 in order to "volunteer" in such a capacity. That would be a long time to wait for a family volunteer opportunity)
-Watched Family Life "Hope for Orphans" (March 2007)
-Decided it was time to adopt (April 2007)
-Found Reeces Rainbow by googling "Down Syndrome Adoption"
-Charissa fell in love with the idea of adopting several specific orphans with disabilities, John was still "just open" to it (May 2007)
-While Charissa waited for John to say yes, every one of the specific orphans Charissa fell in love with got family commitments (June 2007)
-Got an email from Kelly, a humanitarian aide/missionary who does work in Ukrainian orphanages (June 11, 2007)
-Kelly said:
"While I was there this time, I was able to visit a little girl at the orphanage who has Down Syndrome. She is an
angel, with blond hair and big blue eyes and very fair skin. At
first she was not too responsive - she mostly lays still in her crib
during her days, but once I picked her up and started to kiss,
tickle and stroke her little head, she smiled such a sweet smile and
really responded, reaching out for more and more. She loved the
attention and tenderness. Originally we though this girl had more
health problems than she does. She does not have clubbed hands or
feet, just the DS related heart condition. It can be treated here
but in Ukraine it is not treated. She really
needs more stimulation and in a family she would just blossom. She
blossomed in one minute in my arms. What a sweet child.

The most amazing thing was the relationship she has with Naum, who
has taken on the role of her brother with no one showing him to do
so. The special needs kids also go outside each day with all the
children, though the mostly stay in the shade in their big giant
playpen together. This little girl lays in the playpen along with
some other children who are not mobile, and Naum lays right next to
her. While he could easily do the same for any other child, it is
ONLY this girl he lays by, strokes her cheek, holds and strokes her
hands and kisses them. He kisses her face. He 'talks' to her and
obviously feels that this little girl is HIS! Again, although he is
social with many other children, he does this only with her - she is
very special to him obviously.

If any of you are thinking of adoption of a DS child, please please
please consider her. When her Naum leaves, I don't know what will
happen to her - she loves his tenderness. She will soon age out and
have to be moved to the institution in that area. When I asked (with
my usual American optimism) if the conditions in that institution
are improving, as they are in the baby orphanage, the staff
replied, "We don't know. All the kids we've sent there have died.
Maybe the older ones steal food from the younger and weaker ones, we
don't know. Or maybe it is because they were sick children when we
sent them, but we kept each of them for four years none of them died
here. Only there." It was enough to make me want to be sick, hearing
this. May GOD BLESS EACH OF YOU who are adopting or considering
adopting one of these children. You are giving them the one thing no
one else will - a chance to live, to be loved. This little girl has
such potential, she is so beautiful. We just pray that God will send
her a family before it is too late."

-I spent the day crying and praying for her to find a family, thinking, "It couldn't be us, John isn't ready yet". I will never John calling me that day from work, after reading the email. He said, "I want her, do you?" YES! I DO! We spent the evening praying just to be sure, and I will never forget the joy I felt seeing her little profile with the words, "I found my forever family" written across it...OUR family! (June 13, 2007)
-Started home study, fundraising, lots and lots and lots of paperwork, background checks and fingerprinting, and answering questions that seemed very silly but I'm sure they're for a good reason.
-And now we wait and wait and wait for a travel date to finally meet this little girl who our lives have revolved around for so many months!

FAQ #7 "Are you done after this?"

That is for us to know and you to find out later.

FAQ #6 "Don't you have enough kids already?"

Apparently not.

FAQ #5 Isn't Adoption Expensive? How Can You Afford It?

Yes. International adoption costs range between $10,000-$40,000 including airfare and in-country expenses (lodging, food, transportation). Every country has different requirements, so every country has different costs. For example, some countries require no travel; your child is escorted to you. Other countries, like Ukraine, require TWO trips, therefore it is a little more expensive to adopt from Ukraine due to 4 round trip tickets, plus a one-way ticket(I love thinking about that one-way ticket from Ukraine to USA with Ava Urban's name on it!) So depending on what kind of deals we will get on tickets, this adoption is around $20,000.

One of the wonderful things I have learned through adopting is that there are many ministries and organizations and churches and individuals and family members and neighbors and co-workers and friends who are willing to help out. Even when you don't come right out and ask. And for that we have been very, very grateful. We were flabbergasted at the number of garage sale donations we got. On one Saturday we raised $2,200. We had so much stuff we had to borrow our neighbor's garage and driveway too! At the beginning of the summer we were looking for a lawnmower replacement, and pricing, etc and a family member committed to mow our grass the entire summer so we could use the lawnmower money towards our Ava. Neighbors and friends deposited money into our adoption account, and even one person who we have never met blessed us with a fairly large chunk of our expenses. Talk about God meeting a need to meet a need. We thank each and every one of you who have helped us out. We had talked about selling a vehicle, and even selling our house and "downpaying", but the Lord provided through other ways, and for that we are so thankful.

We have raised about $12,000 now. That should cover all of our adoption fees. We only lack the money to pay for airfare and in-country expenses. John will have to miss about 3 weeks of work, and he is contract, so that is another thing we will have to factor in. We have applied for a few grants (Again, many organizations are helping families who are adopting), and whatever we still lack we should be able to take out a low-interest adoption loan, and pay it back as we have it.

And lastly, and I always forget about this when people ask about affording adoption. The tax credit! There is a $10,500 tax credit for each child adopted (not sure if this is just international adoption). This will help tremendously when those adoption credit card payments are due.

FAQ #4 Why now?

For so long we had felt that we would adopt "someday", far off in the future it seemed. "After the kids are grown" seemed to be the right time to do it. Then we heard a DVD from Family Life called Hope for Orphans (Thanks Tina). I was shocked to find out the percentage of couples who felt the call of adoption, who CONSIDERED adoption....but never fulfilled that calling.

Interestingly enough, at the same time, we had been praying as a family specifically for orphans in the world, and for their needs to be provided, even a few specific names that we knew of. Next thing you know, the kids start asking about adoption! Why couldn't we be a family to a child who needed one, they would ask. Jude would squint his little eyes, and pray that we could adopt "a thousand orphans".

I began to realize how easy it would be to get the kids all out of diapers, out of the house, and then forget all about our adoption plans. On this DVD there was a video of a family who adopted a little girl from Africa. The brothers and sisters in the video were shown welcoming her at the airport, hugging her, wrestling, dancing with her. It was not just the mom and the dad experiencing adoption, the siblings were a part of it too. It was through that video that we realized that we wanted our kids to experience adoption too, and not just watch mom and dad go through it after they are grown.

FAQ #3 Why International Adoption? (Aren't there plenty of kids in the U.S. waiting to be adopted?)

Yes! There are many kids in foster care (about 500,000) in the U.S. waiting to be adopted, and there are many more throughout the world, also waiting to be adopted. Every child needs a family, and not one more than another. I wish I could give a family to every single child, but I don't have enough room in my house or time to properly care for 143 million orphans by myself.

We did not necessarily seek out "international adoption" per se, but as we began to research Down Sydrome adoption, we found out something very interesting...There are very few children with Down Syndrome in the U.S. who are not wanted and loved. When they are available for adoption, there is a 200+ waiting list of families who are ready to adopt. Fewer children are being born with DS in the U.S. because of early screening and, I'm very sad to say....abortion. In my research I learned that 90% of these precious human beings are aborted by their own mothers!! (I feel sick thinking about it). In many other countries, however, where fetal screening is not done, babies who are born with Down Syndrome and any other kind of disability, are being abandoned left and right (Again, my heart breaks at the thought of it). Most of these children will never know a family, and most will die very young. That is the reason we chose international adoption.