So many helpers....

The big question...How are we adjusting?

Today we have been home with Ava for one week. People have asked how we are adjusting and I didn't really want to answer until we had about a week's worth of adoption experience under our belt. So now I will tell....

Considering the fact that we plucked this little girl a week and a half ago from the crib in the far corner of the tiny little special-needs room of Orphanage #13, Artemovsk Ukraine, went straight to riding a taxi to Donetsk, a train to Kiev, then an airplane to Munich, Denver and Tulsa, then a Suburban to our house, then sleeping in a new home, associating with complete strangers who speak very loudly in a foreign language while making funny faces, eating strange-smelling foods, and being picked up and carried far more than she has ever been accustomed to in her short little lifetime, I would say Ava Alina Grace is adjusting remarkably well. She really is a delightful little girl. If you haven't met her yet you are missing out.

She loves her bath, I would guess she has never had a full immersion bath before (I could be wrong, but it's a guess), but she is very content to even get her hair washed and feel the warm water pouring over her. She is getting better about letting me brush her teeth, and my sister pointed out this morning how much better they look already! Changing her clothes is one of the highlights of my day, because I rub her down with lotion and she is so ticklish we both end up giggling the whole way through. Sometimes we just stare at each other and we both break into big grins.

Hope is convinced that Ava said her first word: "island". She has been telling everyone that her baby sister is learning to talk and that she can say "island". HA I don't have the heart to tell her otherwise.

If there has been difficulty it is in the area of feeding/digestion. I have learned since we came home that this is very common in newly adopted children, especially international adoptions. Makes sense, considering how differently she was probably fed there. Even the dairy products are completely different here and may be more difficult to digest. I got some great online advice to start with bland foods, (B.R.A.T. diet), and gradually add new foods a little at a time, starting with baby food and Pediasure. We started this morning and she already seems to be happier.

I have heard that it is common for siblings to quickly decide they don't want their newly adopted sibling, and want to "send them back" (also common with biological siblings, I know). I was prepared for this response, especially from Hope who has been the baby for 3 1/2 years. Well, thankfully we have heard nothing like that. What we have heard, however is a lot of helpers wanting to be the primary caretaker."Can I please, PLEASE rock her to sleep?" "Please can I feed her the bottle"? Can we take her to the park, pretty please? She would love to go down the slide, and "It's not THAT cold outside, mom!" Can I feed her a cookie? She would love a cookie, And quite a bit of arguing over who will sit by Ava in the car and at the table. Jude reminded me this morning that if we would have brought home two orphans like he asked us to, everyone would get a chance to sit by one and they wouldn't have to take turns! HA. The boy can do math.

Every now and then Ava's little lip will start quivering for no apparent reason, and a tear will start rolling down her cheek. She doesn't make a sound. I can't help but wonder if she is missing the smell of boiling potatoes from the kitchen right next to her room, or the sounds of the ladies speaking loudly in russian, or the sounds of the babies next to her rocking or crying to be fed or held......or....

Home sick, or homesick?

Three kids woke up this morning with headaches and sore throats. Unable to find the thermometer, and knowing there is a lot of junk going around , I took their word for it. Two of them I was pretty convinced are feeling bad (one is asleep on the couch, the other has a Rudolph nose), the third I'm not so sure. It's interesting to note though, that ever since we brought Ava home, some of them are asking if we can homeschool again. Hmmmm. I am starting to put two and two together.


Simeon, re-enacting a scene from Nacho Libre


Jude then had the idea to make pretend goggles out of Pediasure lids in an attempt to entertain Ava


Oreo cookies make good goggles too


And spoons....well.....


I don't think she looks too amused, do you?

Fun with a spoon

I can't believe this is the same girl we met less than 3 weeks ago. She is really a sweetheart, and changing so much every day! She first learned this trick when we were with Grandma and Pa-Paw at a mexican restaurant Friday night (unfortunately I didn't have my camera to capture it the first time). I'm sure the people around us didn't appreciate the accomplishment of throwing spoons as much as we did! If they only knew.....

Everybody Loves Ava- A Friday Night Surprise

It all makes sense now.

Before we left for Ukraine, I kept trying to go to the GoodWill and logging onto Ebay and Craig's List looking for some much needed "baby"items. I kept getting so aggravated with John who kept insisting I wait until we see Ava, see what size she is, what her abilities are, etc. He kept reminding me we'd have the 10 day waiting period to shop my little heart out and he finally convinced me to quit stressing about all the things we needed. When we got our ten days waived, I reminded him that we were going home totally unprepared because of it. HA

When we arrived home, and after a few inadvertent clues from my kids and others, I realized my sister Marlita was up to something. While I always have wondered "Who would want to attend a baby shower for somebody having their 5th kid?!", Marlita believes that "Every child deserves a celebration", and has been working feverishly, apparently since November, organizing an "Open House", come-and-go celebration, for Ava (she knew I wouldn't want it to be a baby shower). Have I mentioned how much I love my sister?

I had to fight back my tears as so many people walked in the door Friday night, (some that Marlita doesn't even know, but made the effort to contact anyway), carrying gifts that she had registered for without my realizing it. Imagine my surprise when a couple of old college roommates walked in the door. Relatives, neighbors, friends from church, friends from our former church....even Miss Kate from the Little Light House where Ava will go to school someday. We both were absolutely blown away!!!



The entry table display. Isn't the frame cute (and the photo even cuter)?


We never got around to counting how many people were here, but to give you an idea, this cake was supposed to serve 100. Here is the before photo...


And the after photo! :)


Not many people got to hold the star of the show, but Nanny (Ava' great grandma) was one of the privileged few..Nanny is 93. Nanny never had any siblings growing up so to make up for it she had 7 kids, 27 grandkids, and 40-something great grandkids. The amazing thing is that she can keep up with everybody's names.


This high chair is much better than one I ever would have found at the GoodWill! :) It will seat her up at the table with us, and it reclines until she can sit up better. ( I LOVE this high chair!) Not to mention it doesn't have crumbs and smudges in the crevices from the previous owner. Thank you Sunny and Alisa!!


Flowers, even!


Thanks Melanie and friends, bibs with Ava's name embroidered on them


This was my favorite gift of all....a "Blessing Ring". Cards with special notes and prayers and blessings written on them, a keepsake for sure. Michelle, if you can enlarge the photo you can see your poem printed out and attached. Who did that, Sunny? So sweet!


Clothes, clothes and more clothes...a "plethora" of them, as El Guapo from the Three Amigos would say. Some clothes for now, and many for when Ava grows a little.


The sweetest diaper bag from my old college friend, Jennifer


Occupational therapy without a co-payment! Thank you Voths and Smiths!


Physical therapy without a co-payment, from Aunt Sharon


Music therapy too, from the DSAT bunch


And my wonderful sister Marlita who I love so much . Thank you Marlita from the bottom of my heart for making us know how loved Ava truly is. You have been a great blessing to me.

At the airport

This picture was too cute not to steal it from my dad's blog and put it on here. I am very sad to say that my parents are now on an airplane headed back south to Mexico where they are missionaries. They were a tremendous blessing to us and to our kids. Thank you Opa and Oma for making their time here without us so special and so fun for them!!!

This morning's paper

Taken by SHERRY BROWN/TULSA WORLD

My friend Tina surprised us with an interview with the Tulsa World the day after we arrived home with Ava. John just walked in the door with the Saturday paper, and you can read the article here. Hey! I just realized, it's our first family photo!

A first!

My Aunt Esther and Cousin Dalene came by last night with this bouncey seat. I was surprised, and she said, "Well you registered for it, didn't you?". HA! My sister has been caught. I guess she has been scheming something. Thank you Aunt Esther and Dalene.

Ava loves this thing! I honestly would not have thought to "register" for this, if I was registering, because I would have thought she would be too long. She does hang off the edge, but it is perfect for her developtmentally. Now I know what to send to the orphanage for the other kids like her. I had tried to see if she would reach for toys before now, and she hasn't until today. She has been working hard on these little dangly toys, batting them, pulling on them. Her Daddy asked me to blog today and take some pictures of her. It was hard for him to go back to work, I'm sure, after having so much time bonding with her in Ukraine, on the train, and the flight back home.







Jude was the only one in the family with blue eyes until now. He is very proud to share his eye color with his little sister. He begged me to bring her up for kindergarten show-and-tell today. The letter of the week is "L". So he introduced her as "L" is for "Little sister". Of course he was quick to point out how stretchy her legs are, and the kindergartners were very amazed.

I have 5 kids!!!!

Whoever said having 5 kids is no different from having 3 or 4 LIED. It has been busy around here!! For one, we are still on Ukraine time, and about 5pm we are ready to go down for the night. Ava has been a great sport with all the attention she is getting. Talk about over-stimulation! The kids all want to hold her, feed her the bottle, help me dress her, make her smile. They have bragged to the neighbor kids about how "stretchy" she is, and the cool things she can do with her tongue. All day I hear, "Isn't she cute", and "I can't believe she is finally here." One asked, "Can I feed her bologna?" Uh...NO!!!

We have noticed she grinds her teeth all of a sudden. We don't remember her doing it at the orphanage. I think she is communicating: "Who are you and where have you taken me???!!" Other than the teeth grinding, she seems to be adjusting beautifully. We have gotten some big laughs and giggles out of her, mostly when she is well rested and there is not too much going on. We are trying to keep everything as familiar and low-key as possible, but how in the world do you do that in a new family in a foreign country with 5 excited kids in the house speaking an unfamiliar language....very loudly!?

We took her to the doctor for an examination today. Somehow we left all her birth history, medical history, etc in the Embassy in Ukraine I guess? It was nowhere to be found. I managed to fill out most of it based on what I remember from the interview with the orphanage director. I think they should have special forms for adopted children. How sad is it to write to write in big letters over 3/4 of the page "unknown----child is adopted".

The doctor really had difficulty detecting any kind of heart murmur at all. He really thinks that whatever heart defect she had has closed on its own, but we scheduled an echocardiogram just in case.(So much for all those years of understimulation to preven a heart attack!) She was below the bottom of the chart on her height and weight percentile for average kids, but when they charted her on a special chart specific for Down Syndrome, she moved up to the bottom 5 percentile...Hey, thats better than zero! He recommended we see a developtmental specialist, dentist, eye doctor, cardiologist, and physical and speech therapy (feeding specialist). That is a lot to process all at once, so we will just take one thing at a time, making our priority nurturing and family bonding, just as we would a newborn who just joined our family. Thanks to my online friends for their good advice.

We had a very nice day. Our 15 year old washing machine died today. I will not mention names (because I know they would not want me to), but SOMEBODY BOUGHT US A BRAND NEW WASHING MACHINE!!!! Every washing machine we have had up until now has been bought used, and what a treat it was to do my laundry last night in a brand new one.

Then while the washing machine was being installed, we received a phone call from my John's parents, who live in New Mexico. They said their GPS must be malfunctioning because it said they were at our address, could we please check it out to see what the problem is? We walked outside and surprise, there they were, bearing gifts for our kids...all FIVE kids. What a wonderful surprise. Also in their stash of gifts was a DVD made by my brother-in-law, who took photos from our blog and put together the most awesome slideshow set to music for us.(If I can figure out how to get it from disk to computer, I will put it on here). It was such a meaningful gift. And yesterday a man from the Tulsa World came to our house, they said a friend of ours set up an interview to share our adoption story. It will come out in the Saturday paper.

Would you believe I have not taken one photo of all of us together? Or even of just the kids together. I do not know what has come over me. You all know how picture crazy I am...and now not one single photo to go along with this post. So sorry. Check back soon. I need to charge my camera battery, if I can find the charger in the bags we haven't unpacked yet.

Life begins......

First I want to share a scripture that keeps going through my head regarding Ava and how I believe she will impact her world. I Cor 1:27-28 But God chose the simple things(foolish in the eyes of the world) to shame the "wise": God chose the weak things of the earth to shame the strong. He chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things and the things that are not-to nullify the things that are.....and v. 31 Let him who boasts, boast in the Lord.

Ps. 105:2 Sing to him, sing praises to him; tell of all his wonderful acts.

We got home around 7pm, more like 3 a.m. for John, Ava and I. Can you tell by the photos how exhausted we all are? As my grandma Rovenstine would say, "International adoption ain't for sissies!"

I was surprised to find several needed items including clothes already here at home waiting for us (I expected 10 days between the 2 trips to round up what I needed). Thanks to my Mom, my sister and Melanie from our church's adoption ministry for rounding things up. Melanie even had dinner waiting for us! What a welcome.

We decided to have a family sleepover, since everyone of course wanted to sleep with Ava. Don't know if it is the time change, the adrenaline high, or the fact that I was squished somewhere in between 8 elbows and 8 legs kicking the blankets off, but I decided after two hours that was all I could take, and I got up to blog instead. Ava is content in her little crib in our room (also thanks to Melanie-HA), sleeping peacefully, and we are all happy she is finally home.

Now.....the pictures we have all been waiting for. I am happy to report to you the response of the clan to their newest family member.

Jude said, "Mom, she is so cute!" Then he pointed to the empty seat next to him in the Suburban and said, "But look, there is room for one more orphan. You should have brought home two..... I wish orphans only cost one dollar." (Evidently he thinks all there is to it is the cost!) HA

3 year old cousin Sebastian said, "Aunt Charissa, can I carry her upstairs?"

Liesel said, "I keep thinking it is just a dream and tomorrow I will wake up and she won't be here anymore."

Hope said, "Can I hold her forever? Can she stay with us forever or do we have to take her back to the orphan-eggs?" and "I missed you Mommy and I missed Ava too. I love her."

I told her Ava shows love by licking, and then Hope started licking Ava's head!

Oma gets a turn too....

Simeon said, "Can I take her to school tomorrow to show my class and my teacher?"


7 yr. old cousin Evi said, "Aunt Charissa can she come to my play next Friday so my class can see her?" Last night I realized Evi and I have a lot in common. She was crying, and she said, "I'm so happy I can't stop crying. Do you ever feel that way Aunt Charissa?" Lately, all the time, yes.

Ava's first airplane ride

Ava was a great traveler!!! The only snag we had was the issue of feeding. She has been used to getting her food pureed in a blender. Since we didn't had the luxury of a blender, we compromised with baby food and milk/formula in a bottle. If it wasn't exactly the right consistency she would get choked  (too watery, or too many "chunks"). Thankfully John hunted down chicken noodle soup on our Denver layover and asked them to puree it for us. Yum. More than one person on our flights commented on what a great traveler she was.

We noticed a big difference in the responses she got from the public between Ukraine and the U.S. In Ukraine, "these children" are locked away in mental institutions. I am hopeful that attitude will begin to change as more and more Americans are adopting children with special needs. Our own country dealt with the "problem" of disability the same way just 50 years ago. Our facilitator said that now Americans are far more likely than any other nationality to adopt a child with a disability. Once we got to the U.S., so many people talked to Ava, told us she was beautiful, etc. One man commented he had a little sister "just like her", youngest of 8 kids, and said what a special girl she was to their family. (she died at the age of 38). He got tears in his eyes when we told him we had just adopted her. 

I had wondered what it would be like to be the parent of a child who is special, unique, I wondered if people would stare and point, or whisper. Yesterday I found out you get a little more looks, a little more attention, but not necessarily in a negative way (unless you are in Ukraine!)

Alina Looks West (written by Michelle, my Reece's Rainbow friend) to go with the infant photo below

Alina Looks West

In her eyes
there is sadness
and hope
faith that something better
awaits.

Outstretched hands
grasping to hold on
invisible lifeline
cling tight baby girl

jaw is set
resolute
mom and dad
will come for you

Artemovsk is home
but only for awhile
home is where your eyes are
home is where your heart is.

Home.
is where you are.
Safe, loved, claimed.
Ava is home

It is finished!!!!

Two weeks ago today a little girl in an orphanage in Artemovsk, Ukraine had nothing to her name except a file at the SDA with this picture in it. Today she has her own coat, a toothbrush, two outfits, a hat, a pair of slippers, a blanket, two brothers, two sisters, a mom and a dad, grandparents, a bed, a dog, a house, aunts, uncles, cousins, a passport, a family....a HOME....and NOW a Visa to start her new life in America....

.....TOMORROW!!

We'd like to thank so many of you who followed our adoption story. We have felt like you all have been with us and have looked forward to the emails we have received in our inbox. We have felt your prayers, your love and support. The question that I had asked myself 7 months ago: "Will this child be loved and accepted by our friends and family?" has now been answered! We are so blessed. We know Ava will be a blessing to our family, and I believe she has touched lives already whether you have met her or not.

A picture for Christine

Christine asked for a photo of Ava in my coat....Now that I am looking at it, I realize why I got so many funny looks today. It does look pretty strange I admit but it kept us both nice and warm. She loves the sling carrier! I carried her all around town today to Embassy, to her medical exam, and to market, and in 3 taxis, and she never made a peep. In fact, she took a little nap while we shopped for souvenirs. What a sweet child she is.

Getting to Know You, Getting to Know All About You

You mean I have brothers and sisters now?


And cousins too?


I realized that in these photos she looks like she is sitting up, but she is far from it. She is propped up with pillows. Sitting will be the first thing we work on when we get home. Sitting, and spoon feeding.


All bundled up, ready to go to the market for groceries. We have a nice kitchen in our apartment (of course we can't figure out how to use the Ukrainian oven or Ukrianian washing machine-everything is written in russian!). By the way, my coat has just enough room for the both of us. I can zip it up right to her neck, and then button the top right in front of her chin so she is nice and warm.



Daddy has high hopes of teaching her to program in Java!

Well, this little girl is really going to be a blessing in our family. Talk about a content little thing! She eats great, sleeps great, is happy being held, happy laying alone, happy outside in the cold, happy being bundled up in layers, loves taking a bath. She does not like having her teeth brushed however, or getting her ears cleaned out. She doesn't really cry, she just swats your hand away and grins. So we've learned she really does have some motor strength, she just chooses not to use it until necessary. :)

Someone asked regarding my last post, how did I finally get her to sleep? Well she has her own unique Urban preference. She likes to be wrapped up and just held because "rocking" or "bouncing" is too ticklish! :) She goes right to sleep. On the one hand, I know I am probably starting a really bad habit, after all children need to learn to go to sleep by themselves, right? But she has been going to sleep all by herself for almost 4 years and has had nobody to snuggle with. So for now I will cuddle her. We have been letting her sleep between us. She sleeps so quietly we have to keep checking to make sure she is still breathing!

Today we hope to finish the rest of the adoption process: a medical exam required by the U.S. Embassy (they want to make sure we realize she has Down Syndrome I guess!), and her visa to travel. Then we will be ready to come home, hopefully Tuesday. We got to talk to the kids last night, they went on and on about the train ride that Opa took them on to Ft. Worth Texas. My dad says they all want to wear western wear now! (See their photos by clicking on the right column, "What the rest of the family is doing"). When we arrive at the airport I can't wait to hug and hold them, but I have a feeling they'll be going for Ava first!

Surprise, today is NOT Ava's birthday

Meredith offered to take a photo of the 3 of us (Oh, yeah, we haven't done that yet). So thanks, Meredith.


Viktor, Indiana Jones, our facilitator. (I'm not sure how he felt about being licked on the face).

We thought all along that Ava's birthday was February 2nd. A couple of people remembered that and acknowledged. Thank you for remembering! The better news, though, is we get to celebrate her bithday with her brothers and sisters, and aunts and uncles, cousins, and hopefully some grandparents too, (if they don't go back home too soon). Her actual birthday is Feb 20th. In Ukraine they say last names before first names, and when they write dates, they write day, then month, then year. So her birthday in Ukrainian looks like: 20-02-2004. I think that is the reason for the mix-up. So Simeon, you should be glad that Ava's birthday is only 3 days after yours! And maybe we can celebrate together.

I got to sleep with a little angel on the train last night. Boy, is she a sweetheart! Everything happened so fast yesterday, we didn't really have a chance to get detailed instructions from the caretakers on her routine, little quirks, etc. As soon as we got in the taxi with this child I barely know sitting on my lap, I said to myself, "NOW WHAT??!!!"

I tried to get her to go to sleep last night on the train, and all the tricks I've used on my other kids DO NOT work for my little Ava-girl! Liesel likes her back scratched, so I tried that. Ava misread it as tickling, and giggled instead of going to sleep. Jude always liked to have his ears rubbed, but Ava doesn't want anything near her ears! Simeon liked me to stroke his eyebrows and his eyelids. But even Ava's eyebrows and eyelids are ticklish. So that didn't work. Hope likes me to lay with her and tell her stories. But Ava found my big head in her face absolutely hysterical, and she giggled and giggled instead of going to sleep.

We had the privilege of seeing Mike and Meredith again, as well as Joy and Kevin here in Kiev. They all came over to our apartment and we got to show off Ava as well as catch up on each others' adventures. Both couples are also adopting children with Down Syndrome as well, and in a country where people think we are crazy, it was nice to be in familiar company.

Introducing our latest "feat"....

You probably guessed that the first thing I would do when I got my hands on her is see what her little body looks like. Those nurses would freak if they saw this photo, even though it is 90 degrees on this train! She has the cutest feet and legs! I was imagining how cute she will look this summer in a little bathing suit and hat and sunglasses. :)

So much for keeping her on her orphanage schedule. It is 12:30am and I am exhausted but she is so wide awake! She already had her nap on the long taxi ride over here. She sure is a content little thing. I did hear her cry though, which was totally sweet. She started to cry when she was tired and she kept acting like she wanted me to lay her down, but we were in the taxi and she eventually went to sleep. I think we are going to have lots of fun.

We keep getting sentimental feelings looking at her passport photo...seeing her little suitcase packed with bottles and diapers and baby food....looking at her little pink coat hanging up beside ours. I still can't believe she is laying her beside me and we are on our way....HOME!!

Simeon. Liesel, Jude and Hope....You guys are getting home from school about now. I keep thinking about how much fun we will all have together soon. We will be there in just a few days now. I think Ava will like camping but I think it will take her awhile to learn how to fish. Maybe you all can teach her. You will be surprised at how flexible she is. Let's not buy any shoes for her because she could really hurt herself since she kicks her face all the time. She can stretch her legs up behind her ears!! She has a very long tongue. Liesel, I think you have finally meet your match. She will be just like a little baby at first, and we will get to teach her everything.

Marlita, you asked me about clothes size. She is wearing an 18 month outfit and it is a little big on her. So I'd say 12-18mo should fit about right. She is a skinny little thing. A couple of people asked where I got the sling. It's called a Storchenwiege, and I bought it online after researching slings for older children who are immobile. Little did I realize that she is more a baby than an older toddler, but at least she'll grow into it.