More Urban fun

I love this picture...

One of the things I love about having both boys and girls, is watching the creative play that comes about from the influence of having opposite gendered siblings. A few examples that come to mind:

1. Liesel, when she was 3, pretending to "nurse" Spiderman. Simeon hollered, "Liesel, Spidey does NOT nurse!"

2. Jude at age 3, dressed from head to toe as Snow White (even with high heels), playing outside in the mud with trucks..Now that was a funny picture, I wish I could find that one!

3. Simeon playing tea party with Hope.

4. The boys building a princess castle for the girls out of giant Legos.

5. Liesel making a frog kingdom, complete with bride frog and groom frog, and a "Just Married" sign.

6. This picture of Hope dressed as a princess looking through camouflage binoculars.

Boots

I hit the jackpot at the Goodwill and Salvation Army yesterday and today, on winter boots for everyone in the family. Everything was half off, and I got the greatest pair of long white snow boots for myself. I just know they will come in handy VERY SOON when we travel to meet our Ava!

Fishing and a Rainstorm, cont'd

Fishing and a Rainstorm

(I don't think this man fishing off the dock was very happy to see us)

It was a beautiful day for fishing. I haven't decided whether I love fishing or hate it! I decided today that I hate the actual act OF fishing, but love watching my husband and kids loving the actual act of fishing. I was not the least bit disappointed to find out that my fishing license has expired, so it would be illegal for me to hold a pole in the water. I was more than happy to get out of the job of baiting minnows on the hook, or helping reel lines in. But when faced with the choice between staying home and doing laundry, and going fishing.....Fishing it was!

Thankfully each kid caught something, although little, except for Hope. But she doesn't know the difference anyway. She pulled a minnow out of the minnow bucket and ran over to me and said, "Mommy, look what I caught!" I took a picture of her "catch", the same as everybody else's. And she took the little minnow and pretended that it had been separated from its father, the crappie. The minnow was kissing the crappie, and saying, "Oh, Daddy, Daddy, I missed you."

We watched geese, ducks and gulls, fed them Pringles and animal crackers, heard thunder and watched a storm roll our way. I enjoyed hearing the squeals of excitement at the prospect of a "bite" and watching the grins as they reeled in their bass, crappie and perch. We watched the sun set, and people on jet skis. And I went a little camera crazy, I think. And then we got to drive home in the pouring rain, all of us drenched.

So, yes, I think I have decided I like fishing, as long as it is with the people that I love the most. The only thing that would have made it a better day, is if Ava had been with us.

This one is for Shelley

I want my mommy

As usual, I woke up this morning with two kids sprawled sideways in my bed. I said, "Hey, whose bed is this, anyway?" Jude said, "I didn't sleep in it, I just rested in it." I said, "Well, yeah, why don't you just let me rest in YOUR bed and kick YOU all night?" He just giggled.

Hope woke up in the night saying, "I want my mommy!" She had been put to bed by the babysitter last night so we could attend a wedding, and I guess when she woke up at 12:30am she thought I wasn't home yet. Anyway, I laid with her until she went back to sleep, but then a thought plagued me for the rest of the night.....

When an orphan in an orphanage wakes up in the middle of the night, who do they call for? Their favorite caretaker? Their mommy who abandoned them? Or do they just learn not to wake up in the middle of the night? Or do they wake up and not call for anybody? I stayed awake for an hour, bothered by the sad fact that there are so many millions of children who have no mother to comfort them in the night when they wet the bed, have a bad dream, feel cold, feel sick, or, just like my kids, get lonely in the night.

So as all 4 of us laid in our bed this morning (thank goodness it's a king) and talked about this. Hope said, "But Ava has a new mommy and a new daddy, and a brother and a sister now." She was grinning from ear to ear. I feel so blessed.

And then Jude said, "Can we adopt about 10 orphans? We can make the dining room into another bedroom." What a clever boy!

A few people have responded to our adoption news with the question--How do our kids feel about adoption? If they could have been a fly on the wall in our bedroom this morning, they would know for sure!

Another funny kid story

I was telling this story the other day, and realized I had never written it down anywhere. So what better place than here.

Once we had a lizard, a bearded dragon, named Elvis. We named him Elvis because he had some spiky things on the sides of his cheeks (do lizards have "cheeks"?) that reminded me of big sideburns, and so Elvis seemed to be a fitting name for him. Later we realized he was a female, but that is another story. Wow, thinking of that lizard brings back some funny memories. We spent more time looking for him than anything else!

So anyway, one day Elvis turns grey and quits eating. We took him to the vet and found out he was infested with intestinal worms. We did all we could do---dropper fed him, gave him medicine, soaked him in water to hydrate him....but he died.

Several months later there were a bunch of neighbor kids over here, and I heard an argument breaking out, so I went to intervene. One said, "Miss Charissa, isn't it true that Elvis died because he got hit by a car?" And another kid said, "No, he got shot!" So I corrected them both: "Boys, you're both wrong. Elvis died because he had worms." Their jaws both dropped open, and they said, "He had worms?!"

So I went back to my duties, and later I had a thought that I felt like I needed to clarify. I went back to the boys, and I said, "Were you talking about Elvis our lizard, or Elvis the singer?"

It's a good thing I clarified. I can just imagine them going home and telling their parents, "Miss Charissa said Elvis Presley died....of worms."

Halleluyah! It is finished!

The last piece of the puzzle-the medical certificate-has been completed, on letterhead, all the blanks filled in, every line dated, doctor's license number included, signed by a legitimate doctor, and now notarized by a notary whose license will NOT expire before August of 2008.....and is now on its way to Virginia to complete the dossier which will then be reviewed, certified, apostilled, and then finally on its way to Ukraine. Everything is now out of the Urban's hands, and in Dave's, the Lord's and Ukraine's State Department of Adoption!!!

Thursday

The doctor left early on Wednesday. No forms waiting for us at the front desk. We tried real hard to be patient and wait for a phone call today. Finally in the afternoon John called to get an update. The form is now signed, but not notarized. The notary was out today and won't be back until tomorrow....This is almost starting to get funny. An entire week. Check back tomorrow for an update.

But just look at that sweet girl to your right. Isn't she adorable? Doesn't she look like she is just waiting so patiently with her arm stretched up over her head? So cute.

Proverbs the 3rd for October the 3rd

It was very fitting to read Prov. 3:5-6 today. Trust in the Lord with all your strength and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will direct your path. I have peace. They weren't kidding when they said adoption is a "hurry-up-and-wait" process. And they lied when they said adoption is the easy way to have a baby!

Wednesday

No, the Krispy Kreme donuts did not work. All the phone calls have not worked. My sister suggested I schedule a dr's appointment for a "rash" and pay the $30 co-payment for 5 minutes of my doctor's time....hand her the form and say "Please sign this." Or I could ask for my records to be transferred to another doctor and hope they will be more timely. Either way I have to wait on the office. OK so what should I do? My dear sweet husband has so much more character than I, because I fret and worry even after I say I have put it in the Lord's hands. Meanwhile, he has these ideas that the 5 (or more)- day delay with the doctor, just may be the avenue we need to get the documents in the hands of that sweet compassionate SDA worker that I have prayed for. He knows (and I do too) that the Lord has it all under control. While I want to rush things, deep down I know His timing is perfect and we can just rest in His promise and His plan. Sometimes this is easier said than done though. :)

Tuesday

Still waiting on that doctor's signature. John called the office (I'm too scared to now!) and they said it is all filled out and waiting on the doctor's signature. ARGH! This will show you the difference between me and him...While I was imagining how a NON-christian person (not me, of course) might get even...after obtaining the signature obviously....John was trying to think of something nice to deliver up to the office to motivate her to sign it quicker. I guess the 2 dozen Krispy Kreme donuts that he delivered yesterday didn't work, because here we still wait. Waiting and waiting. I keep thinking every time the phone rings it will be her telling me the documents are ready now, and that she is so sorry she has kept us waiting. And that she apologizes that she forgot to document that the TB test was negative. And that she wishes us the best. But no phone calls, and the office will close here in an hour. So maybe she really DID mean Wednesday. 5 days seems like an eternity when a little girl waits in her lonely crib for a family to come and rescue her.

Rigamaroo

Definition: giving someone the runaround; not being straight and to the point; malarky; silliness; rubbish

"Rigamaroo" is the word that my doctor just used to describe what I have put her through. She is not happy that she has to re-do the medical forms. They were not completed correctly the first time, so they were sent back. I brought them to her office on Friday. I called this morning, left a message telling them that our dossier is complete except for this ONE little piece of paper, that just needs TWO lines filled out ("TB test negative", "Patient has no health complications that would interfere with adoption"). That's it!! How long does that take? Evidently, 5 days. She called me back and said she has never been through so much "rigamaroo". She said she has already filled this out and told me she will not even be able to LOOK at it until Wednesday.... she has sick patients to see and that she will not put MY paperwork ahead of her sick patients.

Well I have a sick little patient of my own that I am trying to hurry and get home!

Rigamaroo. What a funny word to use in a mad conversation. I'd probably be laughing if I wasn't crying!!

A typical Saturday at the soccer fields

Moms all around me thought I was clever at the soccer games yesterday for bringing this portable sandbox. I wish I could take credit for the great idea but it was actually from Family Fun magazine, I think. Sure beats chasing toddlers all over the soccer field in the middle of the games. Turns out even 6 year old boys like it too. Hope found a little caterpillar that she named "Wormey Girl" that kept her entertained for the afternoon. But then tragically we lost Wormey Girl. Another clever mom told her maybe Wormey Girl had turned into a butterfly and flew away, and that seemed more satisfying to her than my answer of, "She must have missed her family".

Simeon asked his coach if he could play goalie yesterday. It was his first time, and he really did a fabulous job!

And lastly, here is a cheapskate's version of soccer photos. While parents were filling out checks and forms and ordering plaques, plates, mugs, keychains, I was by a tree with my digital camera with the intent of putting this photo on the blog or emailing it to family and friends! Hey, that is one less piece of clutter I'll have to deal with in a few years. :) With my first child I would have bought the deluxe package, and mailed wallet prints to every family member!

We are approved!

Our checklist for adoption:

1. Choose child-DONE
2. Get passports-DONE
3. Complete I-600A (orphan petition through Immigration)- DONE
4. Complete home study- DONE
5. Federal fingerprints- DONE
6. Complete dossier (all the collected forms and paperwork, plus official application to the foreign government)-DONE
7. INS approval-RECEIVED TODAY!!!!! (This means we have passed the test, and we have been approved to adopt internationally)
8. Apostille (fancy term for official certification) dossier, and mail overseas
9. Wait for in-country appointment date
10. Travel to meet our Ava!

Show and Tell

Friday is show-and-tell day in kindergarten. Each week the kindergartners bring something that starts with the letter of the week. Jude brought a helicopter for "H", a teddy bear for "B", his dog named Matthew for "M". This morning as we were rushing out the door we were frantically brainstorming for an A-item. I started naming things: airplane, apple, alligator, Ava. Jude marched over to the refrigerator, pulled down Ava's picture, and said, "I'm taking Ava". He didn't want to put the picture in his backpack, he wanted to carry her to school. He is already a proud brother!

Ten really great things to say to an adoptive parent

1. That's great!

2. You must be thrilled!

3. Congratulations! When will this special event take place?

4. She is beautiful.

5. You are so lucky.

6. I'm happy for you.

7. Tell me about this special child.

8. I'll be praying for her and you.

9. Tell me more about how adoption works.

10. Do you have a picture?

My thoughts on adoption

Our journey to adoption has been very exciting, emotional, educational, enlightening, and spiritually challenging.

I have always struggled inwardly with being a people pleaser. It became painfully obvious that I needed to let the Lord change my heart when I read "Search for Significance" by Robert S. McGee. For the first time in my life I realized that my addiction to people pleasing was preventing me from being a God-pleaser.

I had hoped everybody would be excited with us for this new child we will be adding to our family. I wish everybody could see that children are indeed a blessing from God, even after #2, and #3, and #4. I wish everyone agreed that a child is special, no matter what their birth order, or gender, or age, or ability, or history. I wish everyone understood that some people want to adopt for reasons other than infertility. I wish, when people ask "WHY", I could explain in words to them how I cannot go through my life, knowing the call God placed on my heart, and someday look back over my life with the regret of not doing what He called me to do. I wish I could make people understand that in our hearts we feel that Jesus has done so much for us, and we just cannot help but be obedient by welcoming a little forsaken child in His name. This is such a great privilege. It's the absolute least we can do for Him and for her!!

My friend Jill said this profound statement the other day: "Our God is efficient. Yes, He wants Ava in your family, but in the process He will be working to refine your heart. So don't be surprised by troubles and worries. God is working to strengthen your faith. Those troubles are simply tools in God's hands."

So the Lord continues to challenge me every now and then. I am learning not to be defensive. A gradual change is taking place in my heart. I wish it would happen overnight. But in the meantime I will expect tests and challenges, and questions, and I thank Him that he is growing me through them. And I hope our family, including Ava, will be an instrument that God will use to change some views on disability, adoption, children, and the value of life in general, in the process.

Miss Fancy

Poor Hope is so bored since her brothers and sisters have been in school. While I have been thoroughly enjoying my time with her, I have also realized how nice it is to have siblings for her to play with. Bless her heart, every day she wants me to play hide and seek, take care of baby dolls, and we even dress up together. Today she draped me with her fancy queen necklace with big purple jewels and she dragged out my fanciest earrings and put them on me. Have you ever noticed that after you wear something for awhile, you forget it's there? Well, we went walking down the street to see if our little neighbor girl could play, and it wasn't until I was home that I realized I was still wearing the fancy jewel necklace and long dangly red earrings. This is with my jeans, t-shirt and no make-up mind you!

Reminded me of the story of my dad looking for a job in college. On his drive to his interview he found a rubberband in his car. He hung it on his ear---Don't ask me why he did this but he did! On his way back home after the interview, he glanced in his rearview mirror and realized the rubber band was still there. I will let you wonder whether he got the job or not.....