At the airport

This picture was too cute not to steal it from my dad's blog and put it on here. I am very sad to say that my parents are now on an airplane headed back south to Mexico where they are missionaries. They were a tremendous blessing to us and to our kids. Thank you Opa and Oma for making their time here without us so special and so fun for them!!!

This morning's paper

Taken by SHERRY BROWN/TULSA WORLD

My friend Tina surprised us with an interview with the Tulsa World the day after we arrived home with Ava. John just walked in the door with the Saturday paper, and you can read the article here. Hey! I just realized, it's our first family photo!

A first!

My Aunt Esther and Cousin Dalene came by last night with this bouncey seat. I was surprised, and she said, "Well you registered for it, didn't you?". HA! My sister has been caught. I guess she has been scheming something. Thank you Aunt Esther and Dalene.

Ava loves this thing! I honestly would not have thought to "register" for this, if I was registering, because I would have thought she would be too long. She does hang off the edge, but it is perfect for her developtmentally. Now I know what to send to the orphanage for the other kids like her. I had tried to see if she would reach for toys before now, and she hasn't until today. She has been working hard on these little dangly toys, batting them, pulling on them. Her Daddy asked me to blog today and take some pictures of her. It was hard for him to go back to work, I'm sure, after having so much time bonding with her in Ukraine, on the train, and the flight back home.







Jude was the only one in the family with blue eyes until now. He is very proud to share his eye color with his little sister. He begged me to bring her up for kindergarten show-and-tell today. The letter of the week is "L". So he introduced her as "L" is for "Little sister". Of course he was quick to point out how stretchy her legs are, and the kindergartners were very amazed.

I have 5 kids!!!!

Whoever said having 5 kids is no different from having 3 or 4 LIED. It has been busy around here!! For one, we are still on Ukraine time, and about 5pm we are ready to go down for the night. Ava has been a great sport with all the attention she is getting. Talk about over-stimulation! The kids all want to hold her, feed her the bottle, help me dress her, make her smile. They have bragged to the neighbor kids about how "stretchy" she is, and the cool things she can do with her tongue. All day I hear, "Isn't she cute", and "I can't believe she is finally here." One asked, "Can I feed her bologna?" Uh...NO!!!

We have noticed she grinds her teeth all of a sudden. We don't remember her doing it at the orphanage. I think she is communicating: "Who are you and where have you taken me???!!" Other than the teeth grinding, she seems to be adjusting beautifully. We have gotten some big laughs and giggles out of her, mostly when she is well rested and there is not too much going on. We are trying to keep everything as familiar and low-key as possible, but how in the world do you do that in a new family in a foreign country with 5 excited kids in the house speaking an unfamiliar language....very loudly!?

We took her to the doctor for an examination today. Somehow we left all her birth history, medical history, etc in the Embassy in Ukraine I guess? It was nowhere to be found. I managed to fill out most of it based on what I remember from the interview with the orphanage director. I think they should have special forms for adopted children. How sad is it to write to write in big letters over 3/4 of the page "unknown----child is adopted".

The doctor really had difficulty detecting any kind of heart murmur at all. He really thinks that whatever heart defect she had has closed on its own, but we scheduled an echocardiogram just in case.(So much for all those years of understimulation to preven a heart attack!) She was below the bottom of the chart on her height and weight percentile for average kids, but when they charted her on a special chart specific for Down Syndrome, she moved up to the bottom 5 percentile...Hey, thats better than zero! He recommended we see a developtmental specialist, dentist, eye doctor, cardiologist, and physical and speech therapy (feeding specialist). That is a lot to process all at once, so we will just take one thing at a time, making our priority nurturing and family bonding, just as we would a newborn who just joined our family. Thanks to my online friends for their good advice.

We had a very nice day. Our 15 year old washing machine died today. I will not mention names (because I know they would not want me to), but SOMEBODY BOUGHT US A BRAND NEW WASHING MACHINE!!!! Every washing machine we have had up until now has been bought used, and what a treat it was to do my laundry last night in a brand new one.

Then while the washing machine was being installed, we received a phone call from my John's parents, who live in New Mexico. They said their GPS must be malfunctioning because it said they were at our address, could we please check it out to see what the problem is? We walked outside and surprise, there they were, bearing gifts for our kids...all FIVE kids. What a wonderful surprise. Also in their stash of gifts was a DVD made by my brother-in-law, who took photos from our blog and put together the most awesome slideshow set to music for us.(If I can figure out how to get it from disk to computer, I will put it on here). It was such a meaningful gift. And yesterday a man from the Tulsa World came to our house, they said a friend of ours set up an interview to share our adoption story. It will come out in the Saturday paper.

Would you believe I have not taken one photo of all of us together? Or even of just the kids together. I do not know what has come over me. You all know how picture crazy I am...and now not one single photo to go along with this post. So sorry. Check back soon. I need to charge my camera battery, if I can find the charger in the bags we haven't unpacked yet.

Life begins......

First I want to share a scripture that keeps going through my head regarding Ava and how I believe she will impact her world. I Cor 1:27-28 But God chose the simple things(foolish in the eyes of the world) to shame the "wise": God chose the weak things of the earth to shame the strong. He chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things and the things that are not-to nullify the things that are.....and v. 31 Let him who boasts, boast in the Lord.

Ps. 105:2 Sing to him, sing praises to him; tell of all his wonderful acts.

We got home around 7pm, more like 3 a.m. for John, Ava and I. Can you tell by the photos how exhausted we all are? As my grandma Rovenstine would say, "International adoption ain't for sissies!"

I was surprised to find several needed items including clothes already here at home waiting for us (I expected 10 days between the 2 trips to round up what I needed). Thanks to my Mom, my sister and Melanie from our church's adoption ministry for rounding things up. Melanie even had dinner waiting for us! What a welcome.

We decided to have a family sleepover, since everyone of course wanted to sleep with Ava. Don't know if it is the time change, the adrenaline high, or the fact that I was squished somewhere in between 8 elbows and 8 legs kicking the blankets off, but I decided after two hours that was all I could take, and I got up to blog instead. Ava is content in her little crib in our room (also thanks to Melanie-HA), sleeping peacefully, and we are all happy she is finally home.

Now.....the pictures we have all been waiting for. I am happy to report to you the response of the clan to their newest family member.

Jude said, "Mom, she is so cute!" Then he pointed to the empty seat next to him in the Suburban and said, "But look, there is room for one more orphan. You should have brought home two..... I wish orphans only cost one dollar." (Evidently he thinks all there is to it is the cost!) HA

3 year old cousin Sebastian said, "Aunt Charissa, can I carry her upstairs?"

Liesel said, "I keep thinking it is just a dream and tomorrow I will wake up and she won't be here anymore."

Hope said, "Can I hold her forever? Can she stay with us forever or do we have to take her back to the orphan-eggs?" and "I missed you Mommy and I missed Ava too. I love her."

I told her Ava shows love by licking, and then Hope started licking Ava's head!

Oma gets a turn too....

Simeon said, "Can I take her to school tomorrow to show my class and my teacher?"


7 yr. old cousin Evi said, "Aunt Charissa can she come to my play next Friday so my class can see her?" Last night I realized Evi and I have a lot in common. She was crying, and she said, "I'm so happy I can't stop crying. Do you ever feel that way Aunt Charissa?" Lately, all the time, yes.

Ava's first airplane ride

Ava was a great traveler!!! The only snag we had was the issue of feeding. She has been used to getting her food pureed in a blender. Since we didn't had the luxury of a blender, we compromised with baby food and milk/formula in a bottle. If it wasn't exactly the right consistency she would get choked  (too watery, or too many "chunks"). Thankfully John hunted down chicken noodle soup on our Denver layover and asked them to puree it for us. Yum. More than one person on our flights commented on what a great traveler she was.

We noticed a big difference in the responses she got from the public between Ukraine and the U.S. In Ukraine, "these children" are locked away in mental institutions. I am hopeful that attitude will begin to change as more and more Americans are adopting children with special needs. Our own country dealt with the "problem" of disability the same way just 50 years ago. Our facilitator said that now Americans are far more likely than any other nationality to adopt a child with a disability. Once we got to the U.S., so many people talked to Ava, told us she was beautiful, etc. One man commented he had a little sister "just like her", youngest of 8 kids, and said what a special girl she was to their family. (she died at the age of 38). He got tears in his eyes when we told him we had just adopted her. 

I had wondered what it would be like to be the parent of a child who is special, unique, I wondered if people would stare and point, or whisper. Yesterday I found out you get a little more looks, a little more attention, but not necessarily in a negative way (unless you are in Ukraine!)

Alina Looks West (written by Michelle, my Reece's Rainbow friend) to go with the infant photo below

Alina Looks West

In her eyes
there is sadness
and hope
faith that something better
awaits.

Outstretched hands
grasping to hold on
invisible lifeline
cling tight baby girl

jaw is set
resolute
mom and dad
will come for you

Artemovsk is home
but only for awhile
home is where your eyes are
home is where your heart is.

Home.
is where you are.
Safe, loved, claimed.
Ava is home

It is finished!!!!

Two weeks ago today a little girl in an orphanage in Artemovsk, Ukraine had nothing to her name except a file at the SDA with this picture in it. Today she has her own coat, a toothbrush, two outfits, a hat, a pair of slippers, a blanket, two brothers, two sisters, a mom and a dad, grandparents, a bed, a dog, a house, aunts, uncles, cousins, a passport, a family....a HOME....and NOW a Visa to start her new life in America....

.....TOMORROW!!

We'd like to thank so many of you who followed our adoption story. We have felt like you all have been with us and have looked forward to the emails we have received in our inbox. We have felt your prayers, your love and support. The question that I had asked myself 7 months ago: "Will this child be loved and accepted by our friends and family?" has now been answered! We are so blessed. We know Ava will be a blessing to our family, and I believe she has touched lives already whether you have met her or not.

A picture for Christine

Christine asked for a photo of Ava in my coat....Now that I am looking at it, I realize why I got so many funny looks today. It does look pretty strange I admit but it kept us both nice and warm. She loves the sling carrier! I carried her all around town today to Embassy, to her medical exam, and to market, and in 3 taxis, and she never made a peep. In fact, she took a little nap while we shopped for souvenirs. What a sweet child she is.

Getting to Know You, Getting to Know All About You

You mean I have brothers and sisters now?


And cousins too?


I realized that in these photos she looks like she is sitting up, but she is far from it. She is propped up with pillows. Sitting will be the first thing we work on when we get home. Sitting, and spoon feeding.


All bundled up, ready to go to the market for groceries. We have a nice kitchen in our apartment (of course we can't figure out how to use the Ukrainian oven or Ukrianian washing machine-everything is written in russian!). By the way, my coat has just enough room for the both of us. I can zip it up right to her neck, and then button the top right in front of her chin so she is nice and warm.



Daddy has high hopes of teaching her to program in Java!

Well, this little girl is really going to be a blessing in our family. Talk about a content little thing! She eats great, sleeps great, is happy being held, happy laying alone, happy outside in the cold, happy being bundled up in layers, loves taking a bath. She does not like having her teeth brushed however, or getting her ears cleaned out. She doesn't really cry, she just swats your hand away and grins. So we've learned she really does have some motor strength, she just chooses not to use it until necessary. :)

Someone asked regarding my last post, how did I finally get her to sleep? Well she has her own unique Urban preference. She likes to be wrapped up and just held because "rocking" or "bouncing" is too ticklish! :) She goes right to sleep. On the one hand, I know I am probably starting a really bad habit, after all children need to learn to go to sleep by themselves, right? But she has been going to sleep all by herself for almost 4 years and has had nobody to snuggle with. So for now I will cuddle her. We have been letting her sleep between us. She sleeps so quietly we have to keep checking to make sure she is still breathing!

Today we hope to finish the rest of the adoption process: a medical exam required by the U.S. Embassy (they want to make sure we realize she has Down Syndrome I guess!), and her visa to travel. Then we will be ready to come home, hopefully Tuesday. We got to talk to the kids last night, they went on and on about the train ride that Opa took them on to Ft. Worth Texas. My dad says they all want to wear western wear now! (See their photos by clicking on the right column, "What the rest of the family is doing"). When we arrive at the airport I can't wait to hug and hold them, but I have a feeling they'll be going for Ava first!

Surprise, today is NOT Ava's birthday

Meredith offered to take a photo of the 3 of us (Oh, yeah, we haven't done that yet). So thanks, Meredith.


Viktor, Indiana Jones, our facilitator. (I'm not sure how he felt about being licked on the face).

We thought all along that Ava's birthday was February 2nd. A couple of people remembered that and acknowledged. Thank you for remembering! The better news, though, is we get to celebrate her bithday with her brothers and sisters, and aunts and uncles, cousins, and hopefully some grandparents too, (if they don't go back home too soon). Her actual birthday is Feb 20th. In Ukraine they say last names before first names, and when they write dates, they write day, then month, then year. So her birthday in Ukrainian looks like: 20-02-2004. I think that is the reason for the mix-up. So Simeon, you should be glad that Ava's birthday is only 3 days after yours! And maybe we can celebrate together.

I got to sleep with a little angel on the train last night. Boy, is she a sweetheart! Everything happened so fast yesterday, we didn't really have a chance to get detailed instructions from the caretakers on her routine, little quirks, etc. As soon as we got in the taxi with this child I barely know sitting on my lap, I said to myself, "NOW WHAT??!!!"

I tried to get her to go to sleep last night on the train, and all the tricks I've used on my other kids DO NOT work for my little Ava-girl! Liesel likes her back scratched, so I tried that. Ava misread it as tickling, and giggled instead of going to sleep. Jude always liked to have his ears rubbed, but Ava doesn't want anything near her ears! Simeon liked me to stroke his eyebrows and his eyelids. But even Ava's eyebrows and eyelids are ticklish. So that didn't work. Hope likes me to lay with her and tell her stories. But Ava found my big head in her face absolutely hysterical, and she giggled and giggled instead of going to sleep.

We had the privilege of seeing Mike and Meredith again, as well as Joy and Kevin here in Kiev. They all came over to our apartment and we got to show off Ava as well as catch up on each others' adventures. Both couples are also adopting children with Down Syndrome as well, and in a country where people think we are crazy, it was nice to be in familiar company.

Introducing our latest "feat"....

You probably guessed that the first thing I would do when I got my hands on her is see what her little body looks like. Those nurses would freak if they saw this photo, even though it is 90 degrees on this train! She has the cutest feet and legs! I was imagining how cute she will look this summer in a little bathing suit and hat and sunglasses. :)

So much for keeping her on her orphanage schedule. It is 12:30am and I am exhausted but she is so wide awake! She already had her nap on the long taxi ride over here. She sure is a content little thing. I did hear her cry though, which was totally sweet. She started to cry when she was tired and she kept acting like she wanted me to lay her down, but we were in the taxi and she eventually went to sleep. I think we are going to have lots of fun.

We keep getting sentimental feelings looking at her passport photo...seeing her little suitcase packed with bottles and diapers and baby food....looking at her little pink coat hanging up beside ours. I still can't believe she is laying her beside me and we are on our way....HOME!!

Simeon. Liesel, Jude and Hope....You guys are getting home from school about now. I keep thinking about how much fun we will all have together soon. We will be there in just a few days now. I think Ava will like camping but I think it will take her awhile to learn how to fish. Maybe you all can teach her. You will be surprised at how flexible she is. Let's not buy any shoes for her because she could really hurt herself since she kicks her face all the time. She can stretch her legs up behind her ears!! She has a very long tongue. Liesel, I think you have finally meet your match. She will be just like a little baby at first, and we will get to teach her everything.

Marlita, you asked me about clothes size. She is wearing an 18 month outfit and it is a little big on her. So I'd say 12-18mo should fit about right. She is a skinny little thing. A couple of people asked where I got the sling. It's called a Storchenwiege, and I bought it online after researching slings for older children who are immobile. Little did I realize that she is more a baby than an older toddler, but at least she'll grow into it.

Coming home!!

Bye Bye Orphanage #13! Free at last!


You should have seen us grinning in the taxi at the thought that she was OURS and we finally get to see her asleep for the first time in my arms! She is a great traveler by the way (so far anyway).


Isn't her passport cute???!!!!!

I think most of you have already figured out by John's blog that we are now the official parents of Ava Alina Grace Urban!! Maybe you are waiting for details. Of course I will provide details, I am a woman, arent' I?! As I type, we are on a train (I know, leave it to my husband to figure these things out), John is fast asleep, and a little girl is to my right WIDE awake looking at all the shadows and lights, and playing with her bare feet.

We nicknamed Viktor "Indiana Jones", ( he preferred "Artemovsk Jones") because of the way things came together today. At the end of the day, however, he gave all the glory to God, and said, "You know, you guys are blessed. It is only because of God we were able to accomplish this."

We started the day buying gifts for the orphanage workers, writing thank you notes, packing...."Just in case", he said. We developed tons of pictures to leave with the orphanage staff of our time with them, and pictures of each one holding Ava, also pictures of Xander and Evan who are now happily adopted into families (Hope you guys don't mind, I took them from your blog). You should have heard the ladies squeal when they saw Evan on the couch with 3 brothers and 1 sister, and saw Xander with STRAIGHT feet, in his first pair of shoes, now chubby!!

We had our court date at 1:00. Viktor had done alot of research on adoption laws in Ukraine, and was able to point her (the judge was a female) to a fairly recent law which allows certain situations to have the 10 day waiting period waived. He urged us to not get our hopes up, because this has never been done in this region before, and is very rarely done at all except in urgent medical situations, but he promised us he would give it a shot for us.

When he spoke with the judge, he also took some brochures from the Little Lighthouse (Thank you Kate!!) and the photos from DSAT (Thank you Molly!) to show her the resources available to us and the potential she will have. He reminded her too, that in the four years she has been at the orphanage she has never received one visit from her birth parents (except for the one a few weeks ago). The judge was absolutely amazed that there is a christian school for handicapped children, and she LOVED the photos of all the babies with Down Syndrome lined up on the couch for playgroup. She asked if she could keep the photos and the brochure. I believe a seed was planted in her mind today. Who knows how lives in Ukraine might be changed because of a couple of photos and brochures and photos that were left behind in Artemovsk, Ukraine.

Present was the judge, a prosecutor, the orphanage lawyer (our defense), and the inspector (social worker) from Juvenile Services. There were many questions asked, some we expected, and some we didn't. We expected, "Why would you want to adopt a handicapped child?" We didn't expect, "How will your other children feel about having a sibling with a disability?" "How can you financially support this child?" And "How will your church feel about this child?" In Ukraine most people have only one child, and if you're really wealthy maybe two. So we got a lot of wide-eyed stares when we said this would be our 5th child.

Viktor likes to remind us how totally helpless we are in Ukraine without him. He teased us about ordering Vodka instead of bottled water with our meals. He joked while we were signing paperwork that we had just signed for our Ukrainian citizenship. You get the idea, we never know when to take him seriously. So today when he told us the 10 day wait had been waived, I didn't know whether to punch him or hug him. He kept insisting that he wasn't joking, and he told us to go back to the orphanage QUICK, pack her up, and wave "Bye Bye" to all the workers so that we could hopefully make it to the passport office before they closed. If not, we would have to stay all weekend, plus Monday in that city (they are closed on Mondays) and wait until Tuesday to complete the paperwork. We didn't get the court decree and finish signing all the papers until around 4, then we had to rush to the orphanage to get her, grab a taxi and speed to Donetsk to get passport and birth certificate. Because he had been in contact with these offices, everything was ready to pick up and sign, and all just in the nick of time. The passport office stayed open late just for us, and then we made it to the train station within 5 minutes of departure. The cab driver called and said we had left the camera in the taxi, and he ran it back to us just as the train was taking off! That's how Viktor earned the name Indiana Jones!

I know there are so many of you who are praying for us, and I truly believe God's hand is upon us and he has answered, and gives us the delights of our hearts. We are ever so grateful.

Right now we are en route from Donetsk to Kiev where we will relax for the weekend. Monday morning we will take Ava for her medical exam and get her Visa, at which point we will be ready to come home. We miss our kids so much, and will be so glad to get us all together again. All SEVEN of us! I still can't believe I have 5 kids!

More updates soon from Kiev.....

The Adventures of Flat Stanley (For Simeon)

Simeon I wanted to show you some photos of what Flat Stanley has been up to, so you can tell your class. Be sure you show them the map of where he is. Poor Flat Stanley. We have been so wrapped up in Ava we completely forgot about him in the adoption folder. Daddy wasn't too happy when I made him go back to the hotel today when I remembered. And he was a little embarrassed holding Stanley in front of the statues, at the fish market, etc.


Flat Stanley packed and ready to go on the trip of a lifetime...Ukraine



His first flight across the ocean


A statue of Lenin (Simeon, who is Lenin? Look him up in the encyclopedia and email me what you find out....Better yet, ask Opa)


Flat Stanley is looking for a souvenir from Ukraine. He can't find a russian hat his size. This one is made from rabbit fur.


Borsch for breakfast, borsch for lunch, borsch for dinner...Ask Oma to find a recipe (Opa can help you "google" one), and you guys can eat what we have been eating every day for the past two weeks!


Vickor thought we said Flat "Sandwich"


He finally made his way into the arms of the sweetest little orphan at Orphanage #13

A double blessing

This picture was given to us from Ava's file. Here she is when she was first brought to the orphanage

Is she in the same outfit four years later? I thought it was, but now that I've posted the pictures, I can see that they're different. So much for the point I was trying to prove! Well her toes were curled up in there anyway, and she couldn't stretch her legs out, so I'd say the orphanage needs some new clothes!

On the long, long train ride to Artemovsk a week ago, the night that we didn't sleep, I had a conversation with God. Things were moving so quickly and smoothly, and I was feeling so blessed, thanking Him for His provision along the way. We felt really special when, out of the 200+ people waiting in Chicago for the Munich flight, the ticket agent approached US and offered $1,800 cash to take the next flight....almost the cost of our tickets!

As I thanked the Lord that night for His provision, it dawned on me. The refund was not meant for us. We had wanted all along to purchase some things for the orphanage while we were in Ukraine, and all along we said to ourselves, "I wish we could do more". But adoption is so expensive as it is, there's not much left over in the end to give away.

On the train ride, it hit me. The money was not meant for us, it was meant for THEM, the orphans. And John agreed. We knew the Lord would provide the last of our adoption expenses in another way.

So we went to work today shopping at the outdoor market (cold!). It was the first time I have ever seen John excited about shopping! We bought clothes, diapers, toothbrushes, toothpaste, tights, baby soap, and shampoo. We are going to leave some money with the orphanage to replace some old windows (the orphanage must be over 100 years old), and we talked to the director (through Viktor of course) about sending some equipment for the handicapped children who are confined to their cribs, some walkers, or wheelchairs. She seemed thrilled. We showed her pictures from the Little Lighthouse, and although we don't know where to purchase them now, we plan to "shop" with our airfare refund when we get back home and ship them back here.

It is certainly fun to lay up treasures in heaven (Mt. 6:19-21).

Today I got an email that we were approved for a low-interest adoption loan that we applied for a few weeks ago. It will cover the last of our expenses and can be paid back slowly, and even not until our tax credit next year. So once again, God provides and He is faithful. And we are glad to be his servants.

Bonding

This is the crib where Ava has lived for the past 4 years. Thank you Valerie for the mobile!! The caretakers say that she and Nick look at it all day now. (I'm going to leave it here for one of the other children).Do you see why the left side of her head is bald and flat? I took this picture from the doorway, and the only way she can see all the activity is to lay on her left side and look out.


My first time feeding her..some sort of pureed soup I guess. It smelled fine, but I can't imagine drinking it! She loved it! What I loved best was how she layed her head on my shoulder when she was finished. By the way, we asked the caretakers (through Viktor of course) whether she ever cries, since we have not witnessed a cry yet). They said oh yes, she cries. She gets very upset when she finishes her bottle and she is still hungry, and she cries when she needs attention. I was happy when they told us that she has been much more content this week since we have been spending so much time with her.


Looking out the window at the playground. The giant blue playpens are for the immobile children to stay in during "playtime" in the summer, I think.


We tried to take her passport photo. It's hard to get her to look straight ahead. Turns out, we can't have blue moons and stars in the background, it has to be a solid background. I thought the moons were cute!

Today we got to know our daughter a little better. Today was the first time we have gotten to be a part of feeding her! She drinks out of bottle with a big hole cut out of the nipple. I got to feed her. I imagined it would be formula or rice cereal but I am pretty sure it was pureed carrots, potatoes and broth. Then they give her a second bottle of some kind of juice I think. I was absolutely shocked at how quickly she downed both bottles, then she layed her little head on my shoulder. I guess I don't have to worry about her not having an appetite. I do, however, have my work cut out for me in regards to teaching her to spoon feed. She has such a tongue thrust, I'm not sure how we're going to do this. That's why there are experts I suppose. Once again, I'd love to hear the advice of other parents who have struggled with this issue. We want to keep her diet as consistent as possible, so I will probably get some baby food and pour it into the bottle with water, at least until we can get her evaluated by a doctor and speech therapist.

We love her caregivers! Kelly was right. It is a nice orphanage with wonderful caretakers. I hope I haven't given the impression that it isn't. John and I both talked about what a difficult job it would be to provide for so many completely helpless little human beings. There is only so much time and so many resources, they have to take care of the basics first. They have a good system, good routine. They feed the babies in shifts, and we could hear the hollering coming from the cribs of the ones who could probably smell the food but couldn't get to it quite yet. We got more of a tour today, and some pictures. The "cribs" I saw in the playroom are actually more like giant playpens that several kids can play in. After lunch the caretakers line all the little children up and take them into the potty room where there are several little potty chairs in a row. After pottying, they take a nap in a tiny little room with 8 cribs! I was shocked at how little their bedroom was, and so many of the sleeping in the same room.

Viktor told us this is one of the smallest orphanages he has seen. He said there are typically 250-300 children per orphanage, and he has even seen some with as many as 1,000 children. There are over 700 orphanages in Ukraine. As we interacted with some of the other children today, I have to confess....Well, I'm sure you can guess that I have thoughts of bringing home another one! We had to make a very firm decision before we even stepped foot on Ukrainian soil, that no matter how attached we got, it will just be Ava this trip. I was lucky enough to hold 2 little boys today. John said, "Don't get any ideas." (I saw him staring at one in particular as well. Hmmmm). Wouldn't Jude be happy! He asked us on the phone the other day, "Mom, are you going to bring home two orphans?"

Court Date

We found out today that our court date is set for this Friday. We have to get dressed up and answer a bunch of questions, such as "Why do you want to adopt a child who will need care for the rest of her life?", and "How will you provide a good life for her?", etc. We have to get all dressed up. Hopefully I can find an iron around here somewhere.

Some of you have asked whether we can bring Ava home this trip. The law says that there is mandatory waiting period of 10 days between the time we are given permission to adopt the child, and the time we can physically take custody of her and begin the process of getting passport and visa. Some parents stay in the country to finish out the wait, and others go back home and return for the child once the 10 day "appeals period" is finished.

Our plan is to return home for the wait. Technically the law states that in very unique situations the wait period can be waived, for example when the child is in urgent need of medical care. Our facilitator told us that he has never actually seen this done, and is urging us not to get our hopes up, however, he is going to request it. Thankfully we brought brochures from the Little Lighthouse showing the kind of therapy she will receive, and Viktor plans to show the judge in order to plead our case. Perhaps when the judge sees how tiny she is......maybe, just maybe? We can pray, and we will pray. Maybe you would pray with us too. The judge is a woman, and maybe that will help. (No offense against men).

While we wait for court we go up to visit Ava twice a day at the orphanage in a room the call the "music" room. I guess they call it that because there is a piano in there but I have never actually seen it played. I was also very happy to see that on weekdays there is a physical therapist (I assume) who works with the kids in the special needs room. They love the therapy. I heard so many giggles coming out of them while being rolled on the giant ball and doing somersaults on the mat. So they do get out of their cribs after all! I am not sure if they have done any work with Ava or not. There are some very delightful children in that room. I got to hold one in particular today and my friend Stephanie will be very jealous when she finds out who it was!

I am missing home!!! I am so thankful John is here, I can't imagine being in a foreign country alone. Things that I am missing from home:
1. MY KIDS!
2. My coffee pot- Normally we would just get a cup "to go" somewhere but I guess there is no such thing as that here. Either you go into a restaurant and sit down, or you make your own. We have resorted to buying an electric teapot, and making instant coffee with hot water.
3. My washer and dryer-We are washing clothes in the bath tub and hanging them over chairs and closet doors to dry.
4. High speed internet
5. Church
6. My Bible (I brought a tiny New Testament with Psalms to conserve suitcase space and either it got left in Kiev at the apartment or it's hidden in one of the hundreds of side pockets somewhere)
7. Hanging out with my sister
8. My calendar-I can't figure out what day it is
9. My bed- we are both sleeping on a twin!
10.Breakfast! The only breakfast we have found consists of soup, bread, cabbage, carrots, beets, rice, chicken, fish, liver...You get the idea. When I wake up, I'm craving french toast, or hashbrowns and eggs. NEVER beets or carrots! This morning I ate buckwheat with soup for breakfast, and yesterday it was chicken and rice. Wonder what tomorrow will be.

Our favorite traveling companions

Our adoptive parents' russian guide


Our Kiev facilitator, Yulia-she deals directly with the SDA submitting paperwork and advocating for us and....
Sergey, our driver. He doesn't speak much english but enough to make a couple of blonde jokes and a jab at women drivers. John teased him about becoming a Formula One racer as he raced us through rush hour traffic to make our train on schedule. THAT was a wild ride!


The laptop...has given us the ability to communicate, blog, skype our kids, watch DVDs (thank you again Karen what a blessing!), and even *work* (yuck). Leave it to these two guys to find internet on a train ride across Ukraine.


And last but not least, our most VALUABLE traveling companion, our regional facilitator and translator, Viktor. He met us at the train station in Kiev and rode the train with us. He will stay with us in Artemovsk until our court date. He does all our paperwork, communicates with the orphanage staff, keeps in contact with Yulia regarding the SDA, translates our menus and our appointments, grocery store transactions, and we love him!! Ukraine really does have some neat and funny people! (Marlita does he remind you of anybody?)

First time in a ball pit?

Don't forget to check out Ava's cute giggle in the ball pit: John's Blog

The Orphanage

Heather asked me what the orphanage is like. I started to make an entry about this the other day and then my battery died! Bummer. So Heather, this one is for you. I have actually been thinking about you because I know how much you would love to be here holding these babies and loving on them.

The orphanage is absolutely heartbreaking. I have had to really work hard to separate myself emotionally from the reality here. From what I understand there are 50 orphans here. There are two orphanages in town, one for babies and one for older kids. Ava is still in the "baby house". I think they are all ages 4 and under. We have only seen about 20 of the kids but I can hear a lot of crying coming from the other side of the orphanage, so I am assuming that is where the little tiny babies live. We have only seen toddlers.

When we come to visit Ava we pass the kitchen where there is a tiny little table and tiny chairs. There are two rooms on either side of the kitchen. One is for the higher functioning children (ones who are mobile) and the other little tiny room is for the handicapped children. That is the saddest room of all. They are left in their cribs all day, the door stays shut, the walls are plain, it is quiet. The belief is that the children will benefit from being sedated and calm. In reality, what they need is to get up, be held, be stimulated. In fact I would love to see them integrated with the higher functioning kids but I doubt they ever are. One little boy Nick has really captured my heart and attention. He seems to be fully mentally capable, but he has cerebral palsy and can't get around by himself. So he wastes away in a crib. I was glad to see he does have a little pull toy that he plays with, and now a mobile from Valerie to look at. He just lays there quietly looking around. I'm sure he would make someone a wonderful son! How he would love to be held and cuddled, I'm sure. In fact today I am going to ask the director if they will let me hold him. The children in this little room are moved to the institution when they are 4. That is the most heartbreaking part of all.

The "higher functioning" children have a bigger room, also lined with cribs all around, but with toys in the middle of the room. Every time we have been there, the children (I'd guess they're all around 2 or 3) peek around the doors and grin at us. I imagine they don't see many strangers. I played peek a boo around the door with a couple of them and I got some delightful squeals out of them. Some are in their cribs and several were rocking back and forth. I wish their mothers were rocking them instead.

I wish I had taken a photo of all the little bowls of white mush in a row. Apparently they eat the same thing every day. I think in the summer they probably get to have fruits and vegetables when it is cheaper. There is a nurse who walks around with a medicine tray. The caregivers are very friendly, they seem to really care for the children. But there are so many kids and the priority is feeding and diaper changes. Not a lot of time for hugging, rocking, playing.

I read a book called the Connected Child, a guide for adoptive parents. I had never really thought about how when an older child is adopted, it is very difficult for them to comprehend what a family is, what love is, respect, authority. They have been trained to survive, that's all.

I can't help but wonder what will become of all these little children. And to think there are "only" 50 here, but hundreds of thousands more in orphanages all over Ukraine. And millions all over the world. Heartbreaking indeed.

We do have a couple of photos of the orphans themselves, but I just didn't feel comfortable putting their pictures on a blog. Heather, when you come to meet Ava, I'll show you them. They are adorable!


Playground.


Where they eat.


High chair for the ones that can sit up.


The kitchen


Hallway to office. The kids stay upstairs.


The BabyHouse.


Front door that is no longer used.