The Orphanage

Heather asked me what the orphanage is like. I started to make an entry about this the other day and then my battery died! Bummer. So Heather, this one is for you. I have actually been thinking about you because I know how much you would love to be here holding these babies and loving on them.

The orphanage is absolutely heartbreaking. I have had to really work hard to separate myself emotionally from the reality here. From what I understand there are 50 orphans here. There are two orphanages in town, one for babies and one for older kids. Ava is still in the "baby house". I think they are all ages 4 and under. We have only seen about 20 of the kids but I can hear a lot of crying coming from the other side of the orphanage, so I am assuming that is where the little tiny babies live. We have only seen toddlers.

When we come to visit Ava we pass the kitchen where there is a tiny little table and tiny chairs. There are two rooms on either side of the kitchen. One is for the higher functioning children (ones who are mobile) and the other little tiny room is for the handicapped children. That is the saddest room of all. They are left in their cribs all day, the door stays shut, the walls are plain, it is quiet. The belief is that the children will benefit from being sedated and calm. In reality, what they need is to get up, be held, be stimulated. In fact I would love to see them integrated with the higher functioning kids but I doubt they ever are. One little boy Nick has really captured my heart and attention. He seems to be fully mentally capable, but he has cerebral palsy and can't get around by himself. So he wastes away in a crib. I was glad to see he does have a little pull toy that he plays with, and now a mobile from Valerie to look at. He just lays there quietly looking around. I'm sure he would make someone a wonderful son! How he would love to be held and cuddled, I'm sure. In fact today I am going to ask the director if they will let me hold him. The children in this little room are moved to the institution when they are 4. That is the most heartbreaking part of all.

The "higher functioning" children have a bigger room, also lined with cribs all around, but with toys in the middle of the room. Every time we have been there, the children (I'd guess they're all around 2 or 3) peek around the doors and grin at us. I imagine they don't see many strangers. I played peek a boo around the door with a couple of them and I got some delightful squeals out of them. Some are in their cribs and several were rocking back and forth. I wish their mothers were rocking them instead.

I wish I had taken a photo of all the little bowls of white mush in a row. Apparently they eat the same thing every day. I think in the summer they probably get to have fruits and vegetables when it is cheaper. There is a nurse who walks around with a medicine tray. The caregivers are very friendly, they seem to really care for the children. But there are so many kids and the priority is feeding and diaper changes. Not a lot of time for hugging, rocking, playing.

I read a book called the Connected Child, a guide for adoptive parents. I had never really thought about how when an older child is adopted, it is very difficult for them to comprehend what a family is, what love is, respect, authority. They have been trained to survive, that's all.

I can't help but wonder what will become of all these little children. And to think there are "only" 50 here, but hundreds of thousands more in orphanages all over Ukraine. And millions all over the world. Heartbreaking indeed.

We do have a couple of photos of the orphans themselves, but I just didn't feel comfortable putting their pictures on a blog. Heather, when you come to meet Ava, I'll show you them. They are adorable!


Playground.


Where they eat.


High chair for the ones that can sit up.


The kitchen


Hallway to office. The kids stay upstairs.


The BabyHouse.


Front door that is no longer used.