Strange love

It's hard to explain to people how much I already love this daughter whom I have never met. Of course, the question everyone asks, is, "Have you been out there to see her?" Not actually, no. But in my thoughts and dreams I have already held and kissed her a thousand times. I go to bed praying for her every night and wake up every morning wondering whether someone is holding her or whether she is eating or napping (7 hours ahead of us). I realized yesterday that I am not the only one. On our way to church, Simeon said, "Mom I had a dream last night that Ava was at our table eating applesauce." Then Liesel said, "I had a dream about Ava too. I dreamed she ran and fell down and got a big purple bump, but she wasn't crying." Yesterday Hope drew me a picture. She said it was a picture of "Ava in mommy's tummy".

John and I have imagined meeting her for the first time. We will have butterflies for days before, and we know we will cry as we pick her up for the first time. We laugh about the fact that we will be sobbing and laughing at the same time, and she will be thinking, "Who are these strange people and what is wrong with them?!"