The Adventures of Flat Stanley (For Simeon)

Simeon I wanted to show you some photos of what Flat Stanley has been up to, so you can tell your class. Be sure you show them the map of where he is. Poor Flat Stanley. We have been so wrapped up in Ava we completely forgot about him in the adoption folder. Daddy wasn't too happy when I made him go back to the hotel today when I remembered. And he was a little embarrassed holding Stanley in front of the statues, at the fish market, etc.


Flat Stanley packed and ready to go on the trip of a lifetime...Ukraine



His first flight across the ocean


A statue of Lenin (Simeon, who is Lenin? Look him up in the encyclopedia and email me what you find out....Better yet, ask Opa)


Flat Stanley is looking for a souvenir from Ukraine. He can't find a russian hat his size. This one is made from rabbit fur.


Borsch for breakfast, borsch for lunch, borsch for dinner...Ask Oma to find a recipe (Opa can help you "google" one), and you guys can eat what we have been eating every day for the past two weeks!


Vickor thought we said Flat "Sandwich"


He finally made his way into the arms of the sweetest little orphan at Orphanage #13

A double blessing

This picture was given to us from Ava's file. Here she is when she was first brought to the orphanage

Is she in the same outfit four years later? I thought it was, but now that I've posted the pictures, I can see that they're different. So much for the point I was trying to prove! Well her toes were curled up in there anyway, and she couldn't stretch her legs out, so I'd say the orphanage needs some new clothes!

On the long, long train ride to Artemovsk a week ago, the night that we didn't sleep, I had a conversation with God. Things were moving so quickly and smoothly, and I was feeling so blessed, thanking Him for His provision along the way. We felt really special when, out of the 200+ people waiting in Chicago for the Munich flight, the ticket agent approached US and offered $1,800 cash to take the next flight....almost the cost of our tickets!

As I thanked the Lord that night for His provision, it dawned on me. The refund was not meant for us. We had wanted all along to purchase some things for the orphanage while we were in Ukraine, and all along we said to ourselves, "I wish we could do more". But adoption is so expensive as it is, there's not much left over in the end to give away.

On the train ride, it hit me. The money was not meant for us, it was meant for THEM, the orphans. And John agreed. We knew the Lord would provide the last of our adoption expenses in another way.

So we went to work today shopping at the outdoor market (cold!). It was the first time I have ever seen John excited about shopping! We bought clothes, diapers, toothbrushes, toothpaste, tights, baby soap, and shampoo. We are going to leave some money with the orphanage to replace some old windows (the orphanage must be over 100 years old), and we talked to the director (through Viktor of course) about sending some equipment for the handicapped children who are confined to their cribs, some walkers, or wheelchairs. She seemed thrilled. We showed her pictures from the Little Lighthouse, and although we don't know where to purchase them now, we plan to "shop" with our airfare refund when we get back home and ship them back here.

It is certainly fun to lay up treasures in heaven (Mt. 6:19-21).

Today I got an email that we were approved for a low-interest adoption loan that we applied for a few weeks ago. It will cover the last of our expenses and can be paid back slowly, and even not until our tax credit next year. So once again, God provides and He is faithful. And we are glad to be his servants.

Bonding

This is the crib where Ava has lived for the past 4 years. Thank you Valerie for the mobile!! The caretakers say that she and Nick look at it all day now. (I'm going to leave it here for one of the other children).Do you see why the left side of her head is bald and flat? I took this picture from the doorway, and the only way she can see all the activity is to lay on her left side and look out.


My first time feeding her..some sort of pureed soup I guess. It smelled fine, but I can't imagine drinking it! She loved it! What I loved best was how she layed her head on my shoulder when she was finished. By the way, we asked the caretakers (through Viktor of course) whether she ever cries, since we have not witnessed a cry yet). They said oh yes, she cries. She gets very upset when she finishes her bottle and she is still hungry, and she cries when she needs attention. I was happy when they told us that she has been much more content this week since we have been spending so much time with her.


Looking out the window at the playground. The giant blue playpens are for the immobile children to stay in during "playtime" in the summer, I think.


We tried to take her passport photo. It's hard to get her to look straight ahead. Turns out, we can't have blue moons and stars in the background, it has to be a solid background. I thought the moons were cute!

Today we got to know our daughter a little better. Today was the first time we have gotten to be a part of feeding her! She drinks out of bottle with a big hole cut out of the nipple. I got to feed her. I imagined it would be formula or rice cereal but I am pretty sure it was pureed carrots, potatoes and broth. Then they give her a second bottle of some kind of juice I think. I was absolutely shocked at how quickly she downed both bottles, then she layed her little head on my shoulder. I guess I don't have to worry about her not having an appetite. I do, however, have my work cut out for me in regards to teaching her to spoon feed. She has such a tongue thrust, I'm not sure how we're going to do this. That's why there are experts I suppose. Once again, I'd love to hear the advice of other parents who have struggled with this issue. We want to keep her diet as consistent as possible, so I will probably get some baby food and pour it into the bottle with water, at least until we can get her evaluated by a doctor and speech therapist.

We love her caregivers! Kelly was right. It is a nice orphanage with wonderful caretakers. I hope I haven't given the impression that it isn't. John and I both talked about what a difficult job it would be to provide for so many completely helpless little human beings. There is only so much time and so many resources, they have to take care of the basics first. They have a good system, good routine. They feed the babies in shifts, and we could hear the hollering coming from the cribs of the ones who could probably smell the food but couldn't get to it quite yet. We got more of a tour today, and some pictures. The "cribs" I saw in the playroom are actually more like giant playpens that several kids can play in. After lunch the caretakers line all the little children up and take them into the potty room where there are several little potty chairs in a row. After pottying, they take a nap in a tiny little room with 8 cribs! I was shocked at how little their bedroom was, and so many of the sleeping in the same room.

Viktor told us this is one of the smallest orphanages he has seen. He said there are typically 250-300 children per orphanage, and he has even seen some with as many as 1,000 children. There are over 700 orphanages in Ukraine. As we interacted with some of the other children today, I have to confess....Well, I'm sure you can guess that I have thoughts of bringing home another one! We had to make a very firm decision before we even stepped foot on Ukrainian soil, that no matter how attached we got, it will just be Ava this trip. I was lucky enough to hold 2 little boys today. John said, "Don't get any ideas." (I saw him staring at one in particular as well. Hmmmm). Wouldn't Jude be happy! He asked us on the phone the other day, "Mom, are you going to bring home two orphans?"

Court Date

We found out today that our court date is set for this Friday. We have to get dressed up and answer a bunch of questions, such as "Why do you want to adopt a child who will need care for the rest of her life?", and "How will you provide a good life for her?", etc. We have to get all dressed up. Hopefully I can find an iron around here somewhere.

Some of you have asked whether we can bring Ava home this trip. The law says that there is mandatory waiting period of 10 days between the time we are given permission to adopt the child, and the time we can physically take custody of her and begin the process of getting passport and visa. Some parents stay in the country to finish out the wait, and others go back home and return for the child once the 10 day "appeals period" is finished.

Our plan is to return home for the wait. Technically the law states that in very unique situations the wait period can be waived, for example when the child is in urgent need of medical care. Our facilitator told us that he has never actually seen this done, and is urging us not to get our hopes up, however, he is going to request it. Thankfully we brought brochures from the Little Lighthouse showing the kind of therapy she will receive, and Viktor plans to show the judge in order to plead our case. Perhaps when the judge sees how tiny she is......maybe, just maybe? We can pray, and we will pray. Maybe you would pray with us too. The judge is a woman, and maybe that will help. (No offense against men).

While we wait for court we go up to visit Ava twice a day at the orphanage in a room the call the "music" room. I guess they call it that because there is a piano in there but I have never actually seen it played. I was also very happy to see that on weekdays there is a physical therapist (I assume) who works with the kids in the special needs room. They love the therapy. I heard so many giggles coming out of them while being rolled on the giant ball and doing somersaults on the mat. So they do get out of their cribs after all! I am not sure if they have done any work with Ava or not. There are some very delightful children in that room. I got to hold one in particular today and my friend Stephanie will be very jealous when she finds out who it was!

I am missing home!!! I am so thankful John is here, I can't imagine being in a foreign country alone. Things that I am missing from home:
1. MY KIDS!
2. My coffee pot- Normally we would just get a cup "to go" somewhere but I guess there is no such thing as that here. Either you go into a restaurant and sit down, or you make your own. We have resorted to buying an electric teapot, and making instant coffee with hot water.
3. My washer and dryer-We are washing clothes in the bath tub and hanging them over chairs and closet doors to dry.
4. High speed internet
5. Church
6. My Bible (I brought a tiny New Testament with Psalms to conserve suitcase space and either it got left in Kiev at the apartment or it's hidden in one of the hundreds of side pockets somewhere)
7. Hanging out with my sister
8. My calendar-I can't figure out what day it is
9. My bed- we are both sleeping on a twin!
10.Breakfast! The only breakfast we have found consists of soup, bread, cabbage, carrots, beets, rice, chicken, fish, liver...You get the idea. When I wake up, I'm craving french toast, or hashbrowns and eggs. NEVER beets or carrots! This morning I ate buckwheat with soup for breakfast, and yesterday it was chicken and rice. Wonder what tomorrow will be.

Our favorite traveling companions

Our adoptive parents' russian guide


Our Kiev facilitator, Yulia-she deals directly with the SDA submitting paperwork and advocating for us and....
Sergey, our driver. He doesn't speak much english but enough to make a couple of blonde jokes and a jab at women drivers. John teased him about becoming a Formula One racer as he raced us through rush hour traffic to make our train on schedule. THAT was a wild ride!


The laptop...has given us the ability to communicate, blog, skype our kids, watch DVDs (thank you again Karen what a blessing!), and even *work* (yuck). Leave it to these two guys to find internet on a train ride across Ukraine.


And last but not least, our most VALUABLE traveling companion, our regional facilitator and translator, Viktor. He met us at the train station in Kiev and rode the train with us. He will stay with us in Artemovsk until our court date. He does all our paperwork, communicates with the orphanage staff, keeps in contact with Yulia regarding the SDA, translates our menus and our appointments, grocery store transactions, and we love him!! Ukraine really does have some neat and funny people! (Marlita does he remind you of anybody?)

First time in a ball pit?

Don't forget to check out Ava's cute giggle in the ball pit: John's Blog

The Orphanage

Heather asked me what the orphanage is like. I started to make an entry about this the other day and then my battery died! Bummer. So Heather, this one is for you. I have actually been thinking about you because I know how much you would love to be here holding these babies and loving on them.

The orphanage is absolutely heartbreaking. I have had to really work hard to separate myself emotionally from the reality here. From what I understand there are 50 orphans here. There are two orphanages in town, one for babies and one for older kids. Ava is still in the "baby house". I think they are all ages 4 and under. We have only seen about 20 of the kids but I can hear a lot of crying coming from the other side of the orphanage, so I am assuming that is where the little tiny babies live. We have only seen toddlers.

When we come to visit Ava we pass the kitchen where there is a tiny little table and tiny chairs. There are two rooms on either side of the kitchen. One is for the higher functioning children (ones who are mobile) and the other little tiny room is for the handicapped children. That is the saddest room of all. They are left in their cribs all day, the door stays shut, the walls are plain, it is quiet. The belief is that the children will benefit from being sedated and calm. In reality, what they need is to get up, be held, be stimulated. In fact I would love to see them integrated with the higher functioning kids but I doubt they ever are. One little boy Nick has really captured my heart and attention. He seems to be fully mentally capable, but he has cerebral palsy and can't get around by himself. So he wastes away in a crib. I was glad to see he does have a little pull toy that he plays with, and now a mobile from Valerie to look at. He just lays there quietly looking around. I'm sure he would make someone a wonderful son! How he would love to be held and cuddled, I'm sure. In fact today I am going to ask the director if they will let me hold him. The children in this little room are moved to the institution when they are 4. That is the most heartbreaking part of all.

The "higher functioning" children have a bigger room, also lined with cribs all around, but with toys in the middle of the room. Every time we have been there, the children (I'd guess they're all around 2 or 3) peek around the doors and grin at us. I imagine they don't see many strangers. I played peek a boo around the door with a couple of them and I got some delightful squeals out of them. Some are in their cribs and several were rocking back and forth. I wish their mothers were rocking them instead.

I wish I had taken a photo of all the little bowls of white mush in a row. Apparently they eat the same thing every day. I think in the summer they probably get to have fruits and vegetables when it is cheaper. There is a nurse who walks around with a medicine tray. The caregivers are very friendly, they seem to really care for the children. But there are so many kids and the priority is feeding and diaper changes. Not a lot of time for hugging, rocking, playing.

I read a book called the Connected Child, a guide for adoptive parents. I had never really thought about how when an older child is adopted, it is very difficult for them to comprehend what a family is, what love is, respect, authority. They have been trained to survive, that's all.

I can't help but wonder what will become of all these little children. And to think there are "only" 50 here, but hundreds of thousands more in orphanages all over Ukraine. And millions all over the world. Heartbreaking indeed.

We do have a couple of photos of the orphans themselves, but I just didn't feel comfortable putting their pictures on a blog. Heather, when you come to meet Ava, I'll show you them. They are adorable!


Playground.


Where they eat.


High chair for the ones that can sit up.


The kitchen


Hallway to office. The kids stay upstairs.


The BabyHouse.


Front door that is no longer used.

So Much Paperwork!

She still licks even after a shave!!


A little Ukrainian Babushka


Who is this guy and why does he keep kissing me?


She likes to hear me sing!


Look at the t-shirts...Opa has been busy!

Well we are ready just to pack her up and take her home. It just won't be the same until we are ALL together. Unfortunately there is so much paperwork and red tape. I can think of a hundred ways to make this process quicker and easier. Gone are the days when people would find a basket on their doorstep with a wrapped bundle of joy inside. Those were the days.

Our facilitator, Viktor hopes to have our paperwork submitted to the SDA tomorrow. Then we wait for our court date. We could hear the same day, or we could hear in a week. Our court date could be set for right away, or it could be set for a week later. Next we have a mandatory 10 day "appeals period" where we have the option to back out of the adoption, or the birth family has the option to reclaim their rights as legal guardians. We plan to come home during this wait, then come back for the last part....obtaining Visa and passport, etc.

So we just wait....Meanwhile we get two visits a day at the orphanage, morning and afternoon. It's funny though, because we are not allowed to be there during nap time or meal time. So we still have NO clue how this child eats, goes to sleep, what her routine is. When she had a dirty diaper earlier I wanted to change her and they wouldn't let me. So I'm her mother....but I'm not. In this culture, the children are bundled up with layers and layers, even when it's not cold. They bring her to us in coats and blankets and hats, and they scold us when we remove them. So when in Ukraine, we do like the Ukrainians, and leave the bundles on. I wish I could see her little body, but that will have to wait until she is really ours. We did sneak a peak at her belly button and she has an outie!! Seeing her little ribs was heartbreaking. When we pick her up we hear little joints squeaking and popping. She feels like a little old lady. :)

The first things that I'm going to do when I get her out of here is give her a bath and scrub her good, clean out her ears, brush her teeth. I'm still trying to figure out what to do with her hair. I think I'll shave it bald so it can grow out evenly. Any other suggestions? You might notice all the pictures we have posted are from the side thad has hair. It's obvious she favors one side, because her left side is balder and flatter, it must be the side she lays on in order to see the other children and activities out of her crib.

Valerie and her husband adopted a little boy in December from the special needs room where Ava and the other handicapped children reside (6 cribs crammed into a tiny room the size of some walk-in closets). She sent some crib mobiles for the babies to look up since they are rarely held or stimulated. You should have seen all the hands reaching up as we walked through the room. They crave stimulation so much!! By the way, Valerie, when we walked in earlier today, Nick was content staring up at his new mobile.

Will continue to post more. We found an internet cafe finally with a better connection so it is getting easier to post pictures. Thanks again everyone for your prayers and thoughts. It is so wonderful to be in contact in this way!!!

Day 3- Big smiles!!!!

I just want to say how much we love this little girl! I'm sorry if I freaked anybody out a couple of days ago. I still can't get over the overwhelming feelings of that day. I had heard of parents who cannot bond right away with their adopted child. I always said that would NEVER be me. And lo and behold, it was me. The combination of no sleep, no food, adrenaline rush, culture shock, the sudden news that she might not be our child after all, smelling the urine as we walked down the halls, hearing all the little orphans crying to be picked up.....and then on top of everything else, realizing the child they were putting in our arms was not the same child we dreamed of for the last 7 months, one week and four days....It was all just too much to process all at once, and I just shut down. I have never experienced anything quite like that before, but then again there are alot of firsts in international adoption. Thankfully it was love at first sight for John, and soon afterwards for me as well. Sometimes I get mad at myself for being too transparent, yet then I realize sometimes our transparency can be helpful to someone else, and in our case this week, it was transparency that triggered so many prayers and support from home, and I am eternally grateful for that. I hope I didn't frighten any soon-to-be adoptive parents. All is well. No worries.
Three days with her and we have already noticed big changes, and have had some special bonding times. Day 3 John put her in the ball pit. I am quite sure she has never been in the ball pit before, that would be a privilege only for "higher functioning" orphans. At first she just sat there, and then her little hands started moving around, feeling the plastic balls, she can't quite pick things up yet but I could see that she wanted to. She was feeling around the balls and then she discovered something she liked better: her daddy's hairy arm. She softly stroked up and down his arm. We already see the 'love gene' in her that is so common in people with Down Syndrome.

She continues to lick John's whiskers, which we both find hilarious, although I'm not sure people back home will find it so entertaining. We'll worry about manners training later, and for now let her lick us as it seems this is her way of getting to know us. We keep thinking he needs to shave, but she seems to like his beard so much, he has just left it for her. While in the ball pit, John tossed a couple of balls up, and she broke out into a spontaneous laugh. This is the first laugh we've gotten out of her without being tickled. She laughed because it was funny!!! (check out John's blog for a video). I'm telling you, she is already coming alive! We are so excited to get her home and around her big brothers and sisters. I know she will find all sorts of interesting entertainment there. She will be so loved. I think I'll trust the older three to carry her, but I keep imagining Hope trying to drag her around and dress her up in her baby doll clothes! That's another one I'll worry about later I guess! :)

Hi Simeon, Liesel, Jude and Hope... Will you play with me?

The real story on the birth father...

Be sure to read my previous post first (the one below). Last night I mentioned to our facilitator how difficult it was for us to make the decision to take Alina from the potential of returning to her birth family, and I suggested maybe we could get his information to keep in contact with him and send photos of her as she grows up. You'll never believe what came next....

 

Viktor (our facilitator) said, "I talked to the orphanage lawyer today to get to the bottom of the situation with the birth father. I found out what the real story is."

 

So here is the REAL story behind the birth father:

 

In Ukraine, the law states that when a child is abandoned to an orphanage, it is the responsibility of the parents to pay a portion of their income to help fund the orphanage...like child support. According to the orphanage lawyer, not only have the birth parents not visited in four years, but they have refused to pay their required "dues" to the state for orphan care. They have ignored every notice that has been sent, until the police showed up at his door a few weeks ago stating that because they have refused to pay voluntarily, and because Alina will be four soon and will be sent to the poorly funded mental institution, the state will begin to deduct 1/6 of his monthly income to fund her care. Her father realized that if he brought her back home he would not have to pay the dues. Now we realize his heart was with his pocket book, not with his daughter. He didn't want her to go to the institution because then he would have to pay for it! Talk about a misunderstanding!

 

 

Day 2 at the orphanage

I have never seen the power of prayer more evident that I did yesterday. We started out the day full of unrest and fears and questions, and by the time we layed in our bed last night, we were filled with peace and joy in our hearts. After my last post, we got a good meal (finally), took a nap, had a cup of coffee, and spent some time in prayer.

We both agreed that we had come all this way for Ava, and birth father or not, we would not leave her here.She needs us, and we need her too.

So she is more delayed than we expected. Of course she is! She has spent all four of her years of life in a crib looking at white walls. She is malnourished, dehydrated, vitamin and protein deficient, lacking in stimulation. Just getting her in our home will make a world of difference. John said, "Even if she doesn't walk, so what? We'll just strap her on our backs and carry her until she gets too heavy, and then we'll get her a wheelchair." :) Do you see why I love that man so much? Happiness really has nothing to do with the ability to walk anyway.

So after making the decision, we began to feel tremendous peace. We missed our chance to see her in the morning (miscommunication on the visitation times), so we spent the afternoon taking a nap and doing paperwork. We gave her her name: Ava Alina Grace Urban.

On the way to the orphanage at 3:30, we began to pray for a second chance of special bonding time with her, and that the Lord would encourage us with signs of life in her. Then I realized, her name means life! Ava means life! When they brought her to me the second time, a love came over me like I can't explain. Not just a godly kind of love, but a maternal love! I held her in my arms and stroked her bald head, held her dry crusty hands, and rocked her emaciated pale little body, as John played "When Love Takes You In" by Steven Curtis Chapman. We both wept as we had the most beautiful time of bonding with her. Later I put her on my tummy and we looked at each other face to face and she looked into my eyes for a long time. She had an inquisitive look. She looked at John too, and stared into his eyes, and after a little bit she leaned in to him and started licking his whiskers!! (Hey-it's a start). It was so cute and it was cracking us up!

She was mesmerized by his iphone! She loves music, and followed the iphone with her eyes. She tracks and follows very well, which is huge!! Then I remembered the teddy bear that the kids had put together for her, and we got that out. I'm sure she has never seen a teddy bear that sings before. Especially one that has her brothers and sisters' voices on it.

Here she is with the box of kisses from her brothers and sisters. Thank you Simeon, Liesel, Jude and Hope. Ava doesn't know how to kiss you back yet, but maybe she'll give it a lick or two for you.


I stole this hairbow off the teddy bear and put it on her little tuft of hair. She was reminding me too much of Jimmy Neutron without it. Notice the rash on her arms and face. We patted her bottom and rubbed her back, and all we could feel were her bones and ribs. :(

Doesn't she look cute with the hat Oma made for her? We absolutely love her!!! She will fit so well in our family.

As we walked out of the orphanage, we both left crying and laughing at the same time. We both agreed it was a good day.

Last night when we got online, we saw the flood of email messages in response to my last depressing post. We read each message together and we wept again thinking of God's faithfulness to use so many of you to encourage us, and confirm in our hearts what he had shown us. We no longer felt isolated, but instead surrounded by your prayers, love and support. No wonder our day went so well! From the bottom of our hearts we thank you for joining us on this adoption journey.

They say international adoption is like a roller coaster ride. It's a good thing we like roller coasters. I hope you do too.

Peace and Progress

We had a real good day. We'll update when we can find a cheaper
Internet connection.

Our First Visit

I know many of you are waiting on an update from our first day with Ava. So much happened yesterday that it is hard to know where to start and how much to say.

 

We got to Artemovsk by train Thursday morning around 8, then took a taxi to the hotel where we're staying. We had both literally been awake all night with no food since lunch the day before. We showered, then went straight to the inspector's office where we got permission to visit the orphanage. In our excitement, we skipped breakfast too.

 

At the orphanage we first met with Inna, the orphanage director, who reviewed Alina's file and told us every bit of medical history she had, which really wasn't too much. She was diagnosed with some heart condition at birth, spent two months in the hospital before she was transferred to the orphanage here. Our translator does a great job, but he didn't know how to interpret the name of the heart defect. He said it is the medical code Q21? If that means anything to anybody, can you please comment? I got the impression by the picture Inna drew of it that it was a PDA, which I'm sure has closed by now. They referred to it as a "heart window".

 

Then right before we went to see the child, they sprung this information on us: Alina received a visit from her birth father just in the past couple of weeks. He realized she would soon be moved to Torez, the institution where handicapped children are sent, where most die within a year. She has never received any other visits from her mother. The director told us that her father had recently remarried, and he and his wife would like to bring her back home to live with them. When Inna (the orphanage director) told him that an American couple was coming to potentially adopt her, and he said that if we chose not to adopt her, he would like to take her back home. He would leave the decision to us.

 

This news really threw us for a loop right before we were to go meet the daughter that we have hoped and prayed would be ours for the past seven months. I always have felt it is best for children to stay with birth parents provided they are loved. Inna said he is a "very nice" man, and "not an alcoholic". Just the fact that in this culture where almost NOBODY keeps their handicapped children, I had to have a lot of respect for a man who would go against every cultural bias to bring her home. He must be a good person.

 

Then again, what kind of life would she have here? There is no school for her, very little medical care, no therapy. Could she even have a life with him?

 

On the other hand, maybe she would have birth siblings, and a new mom, and how wonderful it would be for her to reunite with them.

 

But what if he changed his mind in a year, and brought her back to the orphanage, where she would most definitely be sent to Torez, and most definitely be dead soon after.

 

All these questions, thoughts and feelings going through my mind, as we walked up the stairs and down the hall to the room where we were to meet our little girl....Or was she anymore?

 

With no food or sleep in over 24 hours, the adrenaline high, the information we had JUST received about her birth father, and the shock of seeing her deteriorated little body, chicken pox scabs, and a really bad skin rash......Let's just say, it was a very difficult time. We spent about an hour with her with two people looking over our shoulder watching every move we made.

 

She loves to be kissed, and has the cutest giggle when you poke her ribs. I LOVE her hands!! I got the sweetest video of her stroking John's hands with her long fingers. I had difficulty getting her to make eye contact with me, but Inna told me that she has some vision impairment.  Maybe she'll need glasses. I did notice she was more responsive when I was right up in her face. She is ticklish. I was shocked at how low her muscle tone was. She definitely has more upper body strength than lower body strength. Her little legs just dangled and I couldn't get her to bear any weight on them at all. I know there are many of you reading this blog who have children with Down Syndrome, and I hope you can give me some encouragement about how we can make a difference in these areas. She plays with her tongue. :) That's probably the only toy she has.

 

I felt like I was picking up a little mangy puppy. Poor little thing. I can see that four years in an crib in an orphanage has really taken a toll on her little body.  Her hair was matted, and she is almost bald with a few patches here and there. She has a lot more on top, which makes me think just getting her out of bed would help her hair grow out. Maybe it's a nutritional thing too. She has the remnants of chicken pox, so she is covered in scabs, which are each dabbed with some blue ink. I remember reading that they use this in Eastern Europe for skin conditions. She had a rash all over her face and arms, which looked like it could be eczema or allergies. It is obvious that she is going to need a lot of help. I am thankful for the resources we have available at home, but still have so many questions like, will she ever walk? Will she ever being able to look in my eyes and say, "I love you mama." We went to lunch afterwards, and I wanted to do was cry. I couldn't eat. Came home and slept for awhile. Dinner came. I still couldn't eat.

 

Please pray for us. I have cried many times. We felt like she would be ours. So what happened yesterday??!!! We have such a huge decision to make, and we need wisdom and strength from the Lord to help us get through this. I know He didn't bring us out her for nothing. The fact that we are missing our children terribly is not helping at all.

 

John has been such a tower of strength. I am so thankful for him. He gave me tremendous peace last night when he told me that if a decision needs to be made, he will make it. That took a tremendous amount of pressure. We even talked about trying to meet with the birth father, but I don't think they would let us do that.

 

We are going to go back up for our second visit today. Hopefully we can get another update to you tonight. We are feeling very lonely, and a bit isolated. It is almost time for breakfast, and guess what? I'm not hungry. Maybe I won't gain 10 pounds in Ukraine after all.

 

 I will be glad when Kelly gets here tomorrow

Ready for Big Brothers and Sisters

She loves to be tickled.

Someone has Chicken Pox

Can't post much, no Internet around, see a sweet photo on john's
blog.... Urbansworldjohn.blogspot.com.

The anticipation is building..

Tonight we take a train from Kiev to our favorite little town in Ukraine, Artemovsk. I have warm feelings thinking about that little town on the far eastern side of Ukraine. I wonder if the people will be friendly. I know that we will be looking many men and women in the eyes, wondering if he or she is the birth parent who couldn't love and care for the little girl who will soon be our daughter.

I am trying to remember if I had so many butterflies right before I met my other children. I'm sure I did, but I probably didn't notice for the contractions! Or the heartburn. I wonder what we'll do when we see her for the first time. I wonder what she will think of us, standing over her crib, saying in russian, we are her mama and papa. I hope she likes us. I KNOW she will LOVE her brothers and sisters. What a different life she will have soon.

Thank you for all your prayers and support. We love reading your comments!!!! It helps us to feel not so alone in this faraway place, we feel your love!

For a VERY special surprise, take a look at John's blog!!!!!

More about the SDA and the Cornish family

I had about 5 minutes to post my last blog before the laptop battery
died. Being that I am a woman, and I have to get out my 5,000 words a
day, I had to finish in a separate email at the apartment while the
battery charges , and will post it tomorrow once we have internet
connection again. Boy are we Americans spoiled!!

Back to the SDA appointment, I was surprised at how quick and
painless it was. I was so glad we had heavy coats to cover our
wrinkled clothes...no iron in our apartment, and I didn't want to
pack one just for one appointment. The SDA officials were very
friendly and the entire "interview" took about 10 minutes. They
wanted to know how we found out about this specific child, and we
told her about the Bedfords and the Riebens who adopted just before
us They wanted to make sure we understood that she had Down Syndrome
and a heart defect. When we responded that yes, we knew, and we still
want her, I was expecting to have to explain WHY we wanted her.
Instead, the response was, "We commend you for traveling such a long
distance to give this child a life and a family. We can see that you
will love her and provide a good home for her." They didn't ask for
our photo album but I did show them the picture of our family from
Christmas time. We thanked them as we left, and they said, "No, we
thank YOU." I was so glad I asked for her picture. I got the feeling
they don't usually give the photos from the orphans' files away, but
thankfully we had a more recent one that we could exchange for it. In
every photo I have of her, I love her hands. Her 4 month old photo is
no exception. I can't wait to hold those little hands tomorrow
morning! She is beautiful, and we can't wait to meet her tomorrow!
The closer we get to her, the more we love her!

For those adopting from Ukraine soon, I hope this encourages you. We
had been nervous about what to expect, and it all went beautifully.

Speaking of my expectations, I'd like to name the other things I wish
I wouldn't have worried about.

1. The language- Many people speak english, and if they don't, they
are thrilled to try anyway. It was quite comical trying to
communicate with our cab driver tonight. He pointed to a building and
said, "My school" about 15 times. When I asked what he was studying
there, he responded, "My school." He was also making jokes about Ford
cars, making crashing sounds, indicating that the russian cars are
much better.
2. The people- I envision Ukrainians being gruff, deep voiced,
arrogant people, but the people have been so friendly and
accommodating! (Unless you walk in front of their vehicle in a
traffic jam, and then you get honked at.)
3. The weather- I'm not sure if we are just experiencing a warm
spell, but I have said, "I am hot" on several occasions. Even now in
our apartment, we have the windows open and I'm barefoot and single
layered, and surprisingly comfortable. The down coats from Lands End
have been so nice/
4. Not packing enough- we have more than enough, and stores on every
street corner in case we run out. I'm SO glad Shelley told us to pack
towels, because the towels in the apartment are more like kitchen
hand towels. Like I said, we Americans are spoiled!
5 My children- When I talked to Hope the other day, she set the phone
down mid-conversation, and ran off to play! (I'm not sure whether to
be glad about not being missed, or not).

We thoroughly enjoyed having dinner with Mike and Meredith on her
26th birthday! (Meredith, you are young enough, I'm sure you don't
mind me announcing your age).

Our SDA Appointment

to
Our SDA appointment


Yulia, our facilitator



We ate dinner with Mike and Meredith! Happy Birthday Meredith!
The appointment went so well! We were met by the psychologist (more like the equivalent of a social worker, I think), and her translator. She had Alina's file open on her desk when we got there, and there was the sweetest photo of her when she was 4 months old. John and I looked at each other and we both burst into tears. I wonder what they were thinking. We were expecting to be asked a lot of questions, but they just asked if we were aware the child had Down Syndrome and a heart defect. They told us a little bit about her parents. Her mom was a 30 yr. old social worker, and her dad was a 32 yr. old inspector. Both were educated and professional, and she was abandoned at the hospital at birth. Her picture is so sweet. They let us keep it, under the condition that we leave them a more recent photo of her, which we were so glad we brought with us!

We leave on a train tomorrow night, and will meet her on Thursday!

Pictures for the kids

Hi Jude! I thought of you when I saw this giant dinosaur in the Chicago airport. It reminded me of the book we like to read together, "Danny and the Dinosaur".


Simeon, Flat Stanley has been in Chicago, Frankfurt, Munich, and now Kiev. Look it up on the map and you will see how far he's traveled. He found his long lost cousin at the Chicago airport, but we'll tell you about that later.


Hope and Sebastian, I wish you could have played at this playground outside of our apartment. It looks quite dangerous, so maybe it's a good thing you didn't!


Liesel, I know if you would have been here when we saw this dog you would have become instant friends with her. Isn't she cute? Someday when you are a vet, you will take care of dogs just like this


Evi, isn't this dog cute? I know you and Liesel would have fun playing with them.

Our quest to find internet

McDonalds....coffee, but no internet


Does this sign say "internet" anywhere on it?


Locked. No answer at the door.


How do you say "internet" in russian?


Ah....Internet. High speed internet. The Opera Hotel downtown Kiev. Not only did they not charge us, but they said they would expect us back tomorrow. Ukraine has the nicest people!

It's been an interesting day. Spent much of the day looking for internet access for a way to contact home. We had a wonderful lunch. I wish I knew what it was, some kind of soup and a kind of pasta. The diet Coke here tastes way better. I am glad we didn't try to learn Russian. Most people seem to know at least a little english, and if not, they ask someone else to help us. The people have been very nice and accomodating.

We found out our SDA appointment is tomorrow at 3:00pm, that would be around 7am at home. We should be here in Kiev for a couple more days, and hope to take a train out by Wednesday to meet our daughter. It has been neat to experience a little bit of her culture, although truthfully and sadly, even she has not experienced her culture being stuck in a crib in an orphanage for her entire life. As I was eating my delicious soup today, thinking I'd like to find a recipe for her when I get back, I was reminded that even she has never tried anything so delicious.

We have been in phone contact with Meredith and Mike, but turns out we are opposite ends of the city. Once we can get some money exchanged and figure out how to summon a taxi, we would like to try to meet up with them tomorrow. And Kelly should be here tomorrow too. Kelly call me as soon as you get here.

Speaking of calling, my dad reminded me that I should mention the time difference. Our phone number is 011-32-044-234-8874. That will only be for tonight and tomorrow night. The Ukrainian clock is to the right side of the blog so don't be calling us at 2am!! We will probably be up till 10 or 11 our time.

I was trying to post more pictures but something weird happened. I'll try again tomorrow. We miss the kids but it sounds like they are doing well without us for now, and Opa and Oma will be coming tomorrow. How fun!