Be sure to read my previous post first (the one below). Last night I mentioned to our facilitator how difficult it was for us to make the decision to take Alina from the potential of returning to her birth family, and I suggested maybe we could get his information to keep in contact with him and send photos of her as she grows up. You'll never believe what came next....
Viktor (our facilitator) said, "I talked to the orphanage lawyer today to get to the bottom of the situation with the birth father. I found out what the real story is."
So here is the REAL story behind the birth father:
In Ukraine, the law states that when a child is abandoned to an orphanage, it is the responsibility of the parents to pay a portion of their income to help fund the orphanage...like child support. According to the orphanage lawyer, not only have the birth parents not visited in four years, but they have refused to pay their required "dues" to the state for orphan care. They have ignored every notice that has been sent, until the police showed up at his door a few weeks ago stating that because they have refused to pay voluntarily, and because Alina will be four soon and will be sent to the poorly funded mental institution, the state will begin to deduct 1/6 of his monthly income to fund her care. Her father realized that if he brought her back home he would not have to pay the dues. Now we realize his heart was with his pocket book, not with his daughter. He didn't want her to go to the institution because then he would have to pay for it! Talk about a misunderstanding!
16 comments:
GREAT NEWS, Charissa and John!! What a wonderful answer to prayers. Congratulations!
~Lisa
Oh my gosh, I am so happy you got this information so that burden no longer lies on you. You guys are definitely making the right decision and I can't wait to hopefully meet Ava one day!! :)
I was so delighted to read the outcome. Your daughter deserves you and your husband. Sadly the bio stories are so complex and kids with Down Syndrome simply have no chance in a society where the families are encouraged to give them up to the orphanage at birth.
Take a look at www.gdye.org - Daniil's story - he was the "source child with Down" that resulted in Andrea starting Reece's Rainbow.
Ava is a total sweetie pie.
Prayers to you and Prayers to the birth father as well. Sadly, he may be grieving, as well. It is so hard to take care of a SN child in a society where most have nothing and disabilities are swept into wards.
Regarding the inflammation of the face and arms. One of my DS had red inflamed almost scratches on his face. It was misdiagnosed as scabies two times! It turned out to be badly inflammed eczema.
If you want to email a close up pic I would be glad to see if it looks like his skin did at the time. It was pretty bad!
This is my email boomerseyler@yahoo.com
Leanna
Money, that is not surprising at all, but I am really sad this is the reason he wanted his daughter, thank goodness she will have you!
Hey Guys,
I am so glad that the truth was revealed about the birth father. Ava is blessed to have you as parents. I am so excited to meet her and watch her grow and blossom in her new home, and looking forward to babysitting for those rare date nights. You better have those now while you can. I am so proud to be Avas aunt. Love you guys, Marlita
What a blessing to have the full story and not to have the weight of that decision on your shoulders anymore. It's sad his motives weren't pure. So sad. But Ava is all the richer for it! :)
You don't know me, Jeff Sickafoose was in our Youth group many years ago.. :o) I have been following their story and ran onto yours. We also happen to have friends in Ukraine, the Manna's
I sent your web page to them this morning.
We are adopted parents as well. Nothing so dramatic. We just have your run-of-the-mill American kids.
I make it a practice to pray for adopting families, So you will be included in my prayers!
God Bless you and your family.
Amy Wagner South Dakota, USA
Get this little one back to Tulsa as quick as you can. It's apparent the birth father is thinking about his pocketbook. We love you guys and our prayers are with you. We will try and call you Sunday before 9PM Ukraine time.
John's Parents
What wonderful news! I am so happy for your family! The Lord answered our prayers by bringing the hidden motives of Ava's birthfather into the Light, giving you peace about your decision, and filling your hearts with love for your precious daughter. The pictures say it all, she will be so blessed to be a part of your loving family!
Congratulations and continuing prayers for a speedy court date!
Patrice
Oh Charissa,
As sad as the story about the birth father is, I am just thankful that it confirms your prayerful, heartfelt decision to bring her home. And I love the part about her licking your husband's whiskers. Too cute! Much love, Joy
God is so amazing.
I can say no more.
Yay, yay, yay! I am praying and crying with you guys today. I did pray last night and this morning and will keep praying. I am so glad that Monica sent me your blog address yesterday. Good timing! You guys are doing such a great job of communicating your journey. I really look forward to a visit to Tulsa to see you and your kids again, to meet Hope and Ava! I am so glad that the truth has been made known about the father! And God gave you peace about bringing her home before you even knew the whole story. God is good!!!!!
Daddy and Mommy Urban,
Ava's pictures look like she loves you already. I will pray all works out for the good. This little girl needs you and your love and care.
Love from Indiana,
Melissa Eiler and Family
I'm glad that God granted you clarity, and an expedient answer to your questions about the father.
Watching your children read this blog and seeing their faces light up with a positive response to your joy is quite refreshing. You have prepared them well for this transition, and I think smooth sailing in calm waters lies before all of us. Glad to see so many of your friends, John and Charissa embrace your difficulty and partner with you in prayer and giving of their strength. This is exciting not just for you but for us. To be able to get closer to the little ones has been an add on plus from our perspective. Cheers.
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