Daddy's girl

Make photo slide shows at www.OneTrueMedia.com

Well, since everyone seems to enjoy videos of Ava, I decided to post my favorite. Ava seems to enjoy being a part of our family. Today I heard Hope talking to her, saying, "You're not an orphan anymore. You have a family now." So precious. Just today when the kids got off the school bus and walked in the door, Ava started laughing and looking around for them. But truth be known, she does have a favorite. Her favorite is without a doubt....Daddy. You should see her little neck twist and turn to look for him when he comes home from work and she hears his voice. Saturday night we had family movie night, and while the rest of us watched MacGyver (remember that old show?), Ava sat on her daddy's lap and stared at his face, her little hand stroking and stroking his stubbly chin. It is so precious to think, that this little girl, who just over a month ago had most likely never been held by a man, now has a daddy who adores her as much as she adores him.

Sitting....Sort of?

I realize I'm going a little video crazy here, but I couldn't help myself. Ava really seems to WANT to do things. She seems to be enjoying being given the opportunity to try. I just can't imagine that anyone had ever tried to "sit her up" before now, and she certainly can't get in that position on her own. We found out that she CAN roll over, but she only does it while she sleeps. Very strange. The PTs suggested that her brain possibly needs to be trained to voluntarily move the muscles she wants to move, and in her sleep it comes more naturally because she doesn't have to think about it.

Her eye appointment went well, although she was not cooperative in the least bit. She will need to wear glasses for awhile to correct her strabismus (also the same as lazy eye, I think). Both eyes are affected, the left more than the right. Individually she has good vision in each eye, but she doesn't know how to focus using them together. Sounds frustrating to me! I'm sure I will have great fun trying to keep glasses on this little girl who wants nothing near her face, but I'm hoping the glasses will open a whole new world to her. It will be interesting to see. Can't wait....

More "therapy" with Hope

Out of all my kids I was the most worried about Hope and how she would take to having a new sibling suddenly appear in our home. Hope is 3, and the baby of the family. We have a very unique birth order. Ava is 7 months older than Hope chronologically, but developmentally she is about three years younger. We didn't know how to explain this concept to Hope, but we had to recently after celebrating Ava's birthday, with FOUR candles on the cake. Hope does understand now that Ava is older than her, but she continues to introduce her to everybody as her "baby" sister. I really braced myself for some real challenges from Hope with this whole adoption thing, but I have been so pleasantly surprised. She thinks the world of her new sister! She wakes up first thing every morning, asking "Can I hold Ava?" Every meal she wants to sit by Ava, and during nap time, Hope wants to "check on Ava" several times. I can see that Hope was not meant to stay the baby in the family forever. It has been so wonderful to see her in a role she never got to play before....a role of a nurturer, a helper....a big sister. I have seen some real neat changes in her, and I am so proud of her.

What a great brother

Look what I walked in the room to see today! Simeon is trying to teach Ava how to sit up. He is doing a great job. She was able to sit up for a little bit today without help before she toppled over. I got a cute video of that too. I'll post it later.

A few of my favorite things....

I'm sure you can imagine how my heart pitter-pattered to see Hope walk out of her room wearing her baby monkey in her wrap (i.e. my scarf) yesterday. Shortly afterwards Liesel walked out too, carrying multiple "babies" in her wrap (my other scarf). I think I'll ask her to teach me how to do this, it may come in handy when the new baby comes (I still can't believe I am saying "when the baby comes", the Lord must really have a sense of humor).

Speaking of the new baby....Thanks to Christine, a fellow adoptive mom, for sharing a wonderful online refresher course for infant care. Since it's been awhile since I've had a newborn, some of these reminders might be helpful. Even if you don't need a newborn refresher course, you will want to take a look at these, I promise.

Great news!

Ava's echocardiogram this morning showed absolutely no sign of any heart defect! Whether it closed up on its own, or whether she never had a defect in the first place, we will never know. What we do know is that we can scratch "heart surgery" off our long to-do list.  (The tech did say we will get the official report on Monday, but as far as she could tell, there is nothing to worry about as far as her heart is concerned).

The earliest speech and feeding specialist appointment we could get is the end of March (bummer), but we were able to see two physical therapists for an evaluation today. They were so great with Ava, and very optimistic about her potential. No promises, of course, but they both really felt the same thing that so many others have told me. She has not been given a chance to grow, develop, crawl, interact with other human beings. Once we can get her nutritionally stable and bonded to a family, she will flourish. Meanwhile I am giving her Pediasure four times a day (man, that stuff is expensive!) 

The therapists showed me some floor positions to start working with her on, encouraged her to sit up on our laps, forcing her to strenghten her upper body muscles, practice her balance, even bear weight on her knees. They gave me some ideas for what kinds of toys to get for her too. I was amazed at how excited she got just entering the therapy room. She started breathing really fast and flapping her little arms. It was colorful, bright, very well lit, and there was a giant mirror on one wall.  My house is too dark. This is a problem. Because we have high ceilings, we have no overhead lighting and we just use lamps. I could see that she will really respond to a brighter room. I'd gladly take suggestions. I'd even move, but things are going to be a little too busy for a move anytime soon, I think.

We are going to start therapy once a week (PT for now, OT and ST later), and gradually work up to twice a week. We plan to take advantage of the public education special services too to help with the cost. It was a great day! We have a plan now, plenty of helpers, and a hope that Ava will indeed reach her full potential. We consider it an honor to be such an important part in helping her reach her fullest potential. She is a gift from God, a jewel, worth every cent and every bit of effort it takes.

It's my party and I'll cry if I want to

What kind of a mother schedules vaccinations and bloodwork on her child's birthday? Well that is exactly what I did today. Poor thing! Ava was not a happy camper for her first EVER birthday celebration tonight! But by golly, I worked hard baking and decorating that cake, and took three kids to Toys R Us today. We WILL celebrate a birthday and we will like it!




Yes, this is birthday cake and whole milk pureed and served in a bottle. That is one way to pack in some calories, I guess. By the way the feeding issue is resolved, thanks to this weird looking Haberman nipple. What a relief!

Come to think of it, maybe it's not the vaccinations, but the fact that every single person is singing loudly and off key!

Happy 4th Birthday Ava!

The funniest sleeper

Ava is down for a nap, and there are 100 things I should be doing right now, but she is so darn cute, I just had to blog about her and post these adorable pictures. She is the funniest little thing. I think she is getting spoiled. When I went to lay her in the crib for her nap a little bit ago, her bottom lip started trembling and a tear started rolling down her cheek!! How could I resist that? So we played and snuggled in the bed for a little bit, then when I tried again, she smiled at me, put her little arms over her face, and went to sleep. Oh, how I love this little girl!

She had a dentist appointment this morning (not an EKG as John said on his blog...Dads don't know these details). The doctor had said a couple of weeks ago he said her mouth was "full of decay". Considering the feeding issues we have had, I wanted to make sure she wasn't in pain from the cavities while she ate. According to the dentist, however, Ava doesn't have a single cavity!!! He was shocked, considering she has been taking a bottle for four years. What she did have was tons of plaque and tartar build-up. He got out his handy dandy scraping tool, and began chipping away, little yellow and brown flakes flying here and there. :) Sorry if that grosses anyone out. Her teeth look as good as new now! (Well, except for the back ones, she wasn't very cooperative on those but he said he'll get them next time.)

She'll have a follow up dr. appointment tomorrow, then Thursday will be her echocardiogram, and her first physical therapy evaluation. It is a busy week. But she is really a trooper. Today I took her to Target, and she was so good! She rides in my sling carrier and loves it! While we were checking out I felt like the lady in front of me was pitying me for having a handicapped child. The funny thing was, I was pitying her for having a child who was throwing a temper tantrum. It's all how you look at it, I guess.

Ukrainian Adoptions-Always a Surprise

A few days before we left for Ukraine, our facilitator told us something like this: "The only thing you can expect from a Ukrainian adoption is that it WILL NOT happen as you expect. There WILL be surprises, snags, glitches. The unexpected WILL happen." He said that if we can go into in knowing this then we should have a fairly pleasant experience.

We kept waiting to see what our "surprise" would be. Instead our adoption took half the time we expected. The two-trip process turned out to be a one-trip process. We came home with our first referral....the first trip!!! Everything went smoothly. We didn't lose our passports, we didn't get sick, we didn't get mugged, we didn't get lost, we didn't get frostbite. We had hot water, electricity, internet. SDA appointment went great. Court appointment went great. We loved our facilitators. No glitches, no snags, no surprises.

That is, until last week. Our "surprise" came a week after we got home. Apparently we inadvertently came home from Ukraine with TWO children...One is due in October! It was a big shocker to both of us!!! When I took the test, I was so confident it was negative that I forgot about it and about an hour later as I was walking by with piles of laundry, I saw it laying there....with two pink lines!! (I took a second one just to be sure).

While at first I wanted to cry (OK, I did cry)...John reminded me that God does not give us more than we can handle, and children are a blessing from the Lord, even the ones who come when you don't plan or expect them. The first couple of days the kids kept asking why is Mommy crying and why is Daddy laughing? So we told them yesterday. Their reactions were pretty much what we expected. Simeon's eyes got real big and then a big grin spread across his face. Hope said, "Nuh-uh mommy, you do not have a baby in your tummy." Jude jumped up and down and ran over and gave my belly a big hug and said, "Is it a boy or a girl?" Ava just stuck out her tongue and wiggled her fingers. :) And Liesel got really quiet. Sensing something wasn't quite right, I took her on my lap later and asked her how she felt about the new baby. She said, "Well, Mom. I'm happy about it. But what about Ava? She is so cute. Her face is....so cute." I think this translated: "But Mom, will you still love Ava when the new baby comes?"

Tonight, while I knew Liesel was watching me, I went over to Ava, took her cheeks in my hands, and I said, "Ava, guess what? You aren't going to be the baby for long. You are going to be the big sister now too. But don't worry. When the baby comes, I will still think you are the sweetest little Ava in the world, and I will love you just as much as I do right now." Out of the corner of my eye, I saw a big grin on Liesel's face. What a sweetheart. She just wanted to make sure Ava would not be forgotten.

Of course I question the timing in all this. Seems pretty crazy to me, insane really. However, a friend suggested how helpful it will be for Ava to have somebody to mimic, to follow. It will be like having twins, but babies with Down Syndrome really thrive off of having someone similar to their developmental age to model after. Maybe a younger sibling is just what Ava needed to really reach her full potential. Maybe it was a birth control failure, or a miscalculation, or maybe.....Just maybe the Lord planned it out exactly like this for that very reason. I'd like to think of it as the latter.

So now our "After" photo is back to being our "Before" photo. HA. I am going to have 6 kids!!! My cup runneth over....

Gift of Life Easter Project

A message from Andrea from Reece's Rainbow. When we first committed to adopt a child with Down Syndrome, she came with a grant of $1,005, thanks to projects like this. Please take a look at the link below. You will have the opportunity to sponsor the adoption of a child with Down Syndrome, like our sweet little Ava. Speaking of which, look whose picture is on the top of the page!!

The Reece's Rainbow Down Syndrome Adoption Ministry is proud to announce the beginning of our 2nd largest campaign of each year to seek grant sponsors and adoptive families.

Our GIFT OF LIFE Easter Project focuses on those waiting children who are most AT RISK...those who are older and facing imminent institutionalization, and those children who may have additional medical complications and need a family quickly.

You have all seen the power of sponsorship through the results of our Christmas Angel Tree....(22) children are already home with their families, (15) more will be home by April of 2008, and (23) more children already have committed families who are in various stages of the adoption process at this time.

Our GIFT OF LIFE Easter Project is a new opportunity for you to continue your already generous support of this ministry and the waiting orphans with Down syndrome that it serves. It is ONLY BECAUSE OF YOU and your donations that our adoptive families have been able to afford to rescue so many children. Please help us continue this mission of life-saving success!

Please visit the links above to view our Gift of Life Project and Easter Gallery to sponsor one or more of our AT RISK children this Easter! Gift donations and gift cards are available again, along with a beautiful crocheted cross bookmark for sponsors who give $100 or more. As always, your donations are tax deductible to the fullest extent of the law. Please do not hesitate to write me off list with questions at bamaroberts@comcast.net

And PLEASE SHARE THIS OPPORTUNITY WITH EVERYONE YOU KNOW!

God bless, and Happy Easter!


Andrea Roberts, Executive Director
Reece's Rainbow Down Syndrome Adoption Ministry

Happy 10th Birthday Simeon!

How well I remember that February 17th in 1998. After 26 hours of long hard labor, 2 1/2 hours of pushing (and NO epidural, thank you very much), I got to hold that sweet 9 lb 2oz baby boy in my arms. For the first time, I was a mother. This boy has brought so much joy into my life (and quite a few messes). If anybody is "all boy" it is my Simeon. As I type this he is riding his new rip stick...in the house. Ugh. He is full of energy, life, love, sweetness, sense of humor. He really is a great kid. Just this morning at church someone commented on what a sweet brother he is as he was proudly carrying his new sister Ava.

Normally I try to make my kids' birthday cakes from scratch, using my Hobby Lobby decorating skills. This year, however was an exception as things have been....a little busy. I was feeling a little guilty about it, so I apologized to him for not making and decorating a cake for him this year. Trying to console me, he said, "It's OK Mom, the cakes from Wal-Mart are better than yours anyway." Uh...I guess I'm forgiven then? :) And we had to use matches for candles because I plum forgot. Oops.

Birthday boy...

My Little LambChop

Poor little Ava. She and I have both shed many tears over her feedings! She gets excited to see her bottle, but as soon as we put the nipple in her mouth she gets upset, and cries through most of her feedings. We have experimented with different bottles, different nipples, temperatures, consistencies, flavors (salty, sweet, bland), hole sizes, and nothing seems to have made a difference. Today when I posted a question to my favorite yahoo adoption group, someone suggested that maybe Ava was used to a certain kind of nipple in Ukraine. Thankfully, John happened to take a photo of her bottles one day at the orphanage after she had quickly guzzled them down, and we were able to get a closer look at the nipple. It is much longer than any I've seen here and I also remember it being real elastic. I am kicking myself for not asking the orphanage for some, or at least finding out where we could buy some.

After spending the day googling (that can be dangerous), calling, going to pet supply stores, medical supply stores, agricultural supply stores,  the Baby Super Center, even the hospital, we found NOTHING remotely close to this. But I came home tonight to find in my inbox, so many fellow moms  who have joined my quest to find this nipple. The closest thing we have found is a lamb feeder nipple (grey one on the left). Is it possible the Eastern European orphanages are using livestock feeders to feed the children?! Or maybe they just manufacture them differently over there. Either way, we have to get some of these. Any farmers reading this blog who want to donate some nipples to a good cause?

We did find a temporary solution, (thanks Michelle), a Haberman nipple. Apparently these are used for infants with a weak suck and for children with cleft palate, I think? It is longer, and did seem to make a difference tonight when we used it. Still not quite what my Little LambChop loves, but it will have to do for now. :)

Extreme Makeover

Three weeks ago.....

And now.....Isn't she beautiful? Amazing what love can do....

So many helpers....

The big question...How are we adjusting?

Today we have been home with Ava for one week. People have asked how we are adjusting and I didn't really want to answer until we had about a week's worth of adoption experience under our belt. So now I will tell....

Considering the fact that we plucked this little girl a week and a half ago from the crib in the far corner of the tiny little special-needs room of Orphanage #13, Artemovsk Ukraine, went straight to riding a taxi to Donetsk, a train to Kiev, then an airplane to Munich, Denver and Tulsa, then a Suburban to our house, then sleeping in a new home, associating with complete strangers who speak very loudly in a foreign language while making funny faces, eating strange-smelling foods, and being picked up and carried far more than she has ever been accustomed to in her short little lifetime, I would say Ava Alina Grace is adjusting remarkably well. She really is a delightful little girl. If you haven't met her yet you are missing out.

She loves her bath, I would guess she has never had a full immersion bath before (I could be wrong, but it's a guess), but she is very content to even get her hair washed and feel the warm water pouring over her. She is getting better about letting me brush her teeth, and my sister pointed out this morning how much better they look already! Changing her clothes is one of the highlights of my day, because I rub her down with lotion and she is so ticklish we both end up giggling the whole way through. Sometimes we just stare at each other and we both break into big grins.

Hope is convinced that Ava said her first word: "island". She has been telling everyone that her baby sister is learning to talk and that she can say "island". HA I don't have the heart to tell her otherwise.

If there has been difficulty it is in the area of feeding/digestion. I have learned since we came home that this is very common in newly adopted children, especially international adoptions. Makes sense, considering how differently she was probably fed there. Even the dairy products are completely different here and may be more difficult to digest. I got some great online advice to start with bland foods, (B.R.A.T. diet), and gradually add new foods a little at a time, starting with baby food and Pediasure. We started this morning and she already seems to be happier.

I have heard that it is common for siblings to quickly decide they don't want their newly adopted sibling, and want to "send them back" (also common with biological siblings, I know). I was prepared for this response, especially from Hope who has been the baby for 3 1/2 years. Well, thankfully we have heard nothing like that. What we have heard, however is a lot of helpers wanting to be the primary caretaker."Can I please, PLEASE rock her to sleep?" "Please can I feed her the bottle"? Can we take her to the park, pretty please? She would love to go down the slide, and "It's not THAT cold outside, mom!" Can I feed her a cookie? She would love a cookie, And quite a bit of arguing over who will sit by Ava in the car and at the table. Jude reminded me this morning that if we would have brought home two orphans like he asked us to, everyone would get a chance to sit by one and they wouldn't have to take turns! HA. The boy can do math.

Every now and then Ava's little lip will start quivering for no apparent reason, and a tear will start rolling down her cheek. She doesn't make a sound. I can't help but wonder if she is missing the smell of boiling potatoes from the kitchen right next to her room, or the sounds of the ladies speaking loudly in russian, or the sounds of the babies next to her rocking or crying to be fed or held......or....

Home sick, or homesick?

Three kids woke up this morning with headaches and sore throats. Unable to find the thermometer, and knowing there is a lot of junk going around , I took their word for it. Two of them I was pretty convinced are feeling bad (one is asleep on the couch, the other has a Rudolph nose), the third I'm not so sure. It's interesting to note though, that ever since we brought Ava home, some of them are asking if we can homeschool again. Hmmmm. I am starting to put two and two together.


Simeon, re-enacting a scene from Nacho Libre


Jude then had the idea to make pretend goggles out of Pediasure lids in an attempt to entertain Ava


Oreo cookies make good goggles too


And spoons....well.....


I don't think she looks too amused, do you?

Fun with a spoon

I can't believe this is the same girl we met less than 3 weeks ago. She is really a sweetheart, and changing so much every day! She first learned this trick when we were with Grandma and Pa-Paw at a mexican restaurant Friday night (unfortunately I didn't have my camera to capture it the first time). I'm sure the people around us didn't appreciate the accomplishment of throwing spoons as much as we did! If they only knew.....

Everybody Loves Ava- A Friday Night Surprise

It all makes sense now.

Before we left for Ukraine, I kept trying to go to the GoodWill and logging onto Ebay and Craig's List looking for some much needed "baby"items. I kept getting so aggravated with John who kept insisting I wait until we see Ava, see what size she is, what her abilities are, etc. He kept reminding me we'd have the 10 day waiting period to shop my little heart out and he finally convinced me to quit stressing about all the things we needed. When we got our ten days waived, I reminded him that we were going home totally unprepared because of it. HA

When we arrived home, and after a few inadvertent clues from my kids and others, I realized my sister Marlita was up to something. While I always have wondered "Who would want to attend a baby shower for somebody having their 5th kid?!", Marlita believes that "Every child deserves a celebration", and has been working feverishly, apparently since November, organizing an "Open House", come-and-go celebration, for Ava (she knew I wouldn't want it to be a baby shower). Have I mentioned how much I love my sister?

I had to fight back my tears as so many people walked in the door Friday night, (some that Marlita doesn't even know, but made the effort to contact anyway), carrying gifts that she had registered for without my realizing it. Imagine my surprise when a couple of old college roommates walked in the door. Relatives, neighbors, friends from church, friends from our former church....even Miss Kate from the Little Light House where Ava will go to school someday. We both were absolutely blown away!!!



The entry table display. Isn't the frame cute (and the photo even cuter)?


We never got around to counting how many people were here, but to give you an idea, this cake was supposed to serve 100. Here is the before photo...


And the after photo! :)


Not many people got to hold the star of the show, but Nanny (Ava' great grandma) was one of the privileged few..Nanny is 93. Nanny never had any siblings growing up so to make up for it she had 7 kids, 27 grandkids, and 40-something great grandkids. The amazing thing is that she can keep up with everybody's names.


This high chair is much better than one I ever would have found at the GoodWill! :) It will seat her up at the table with us, and it reclines until she can sit up better. ( I LOVE this high chair!) Not to mention it doesn't have crumbs and smudges in the crevices from the previous owner. Thank you Sunny and Alisa!!


Flowers, even!


Thanks Melanie and friends, bibs with Ava's name embroidered on them


This was my favorite gift of all....a "Blessing Ring". Cards with special notes and prayers and blessings written on them, a keepsake for sure. Michelle, if you can enlarge the photo you can see your poem printed out and attached. Who did that, Sunny? So sweet!


Clothes, clothes and more clothes...a "plethora" of them, as El Guapo from the Three Amigos would say. Some clothes for now, and many for when Ava grows a little.


The sweetest diaper bag from my old college friend, Jennifer


Occupational therapy without a co-payment! Thank you Voths and Smiths!


Physical therapy without a co-payment, from Aunt Sharon


Music therapy too, from the DSAT bunch


And my wonderful sister Marlita who I love so much . Thank you Marlita from the bottom of my heart for making us know how loved Ava truly is. You have been a great blessing to me.