In the past 3 weeks or so Ava has made tremendous progress in the area of eating! She weaned herself from the bottle and can eat just about anything that I mash up in the baby food grinder, even tolerating fairly big chunks of things. I am shocked, considering all the sensory issues she's had, problems with gagging, etc. She's even started trying to drink from a cup, although it will be awhile before she can suck from a straw or drink from a sippy cup, but at least she is letting me put things in her mouth for a change. She LOVES to eat, and kicks her legs with excitement when I put her in her highchair and do the sign for "eat".
Along with this great progress, though, has come a habit of biting. She bites my shirt, but sometimes my skin gets in there too. When the other kids try to love on her, she "loves" them back by biting!!! I'm stressed! I don't want my daughter to be the one in time out all the time at school or in the church nursery because she can't be trusted with the other kids. I think she bit like 10 times today!! I'm stressed, because on the one hand I'm trying to encourage the mouth exploration, telling her to bite the cracker, etc. and I'm afraid I'm going to ruin a good thing by being too harsh on her. What I've been doing is squeezing her cheeks really firmly, I mean REALLY pressing her cheeks into her teeth, and saying "NO BITE". When this didn't work after about 9 times, then I did it again, but put her in her crib for her first ever time out. It pained me though, because she had the saddest little lip quiver, with tears filling her eyes as she laid there in her crib, and I'm not sure she understood why I had isolated her. And it's not helping that my other kids keep defending her!! I know that it is not a malicious thing, AT ALL, because she bites when she is loving on you, or if your arm just happens to be in front of her. It's like she is exploring this new world of hers, and can't help but just take a bite to see what you taste like. I realized today when she bit the physical therapist, we have to do something QUICK. Please, if you have a child that is or was a biter, please tell me what worked for you. I want to stop this bad habit quickly! Nobody wants to be friends with a biter, and I do hope Ava will have lots of friends!
Tuesday, July 08, 2008
Biting-HELP
Posted by liesel at 10:05 PM
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23 comments:
Oh how I remember those days!! lol I think alot of kids go thru that stage and it is her turn. She would of went thru it sooner had she not been where she was.
I can still remember Mercede biting her great grandmother on the arm and me yelling "NO" at her. Mercede started crying and my grandmother was livid at me for getting after her.
I would try to just say no and not give her attention right after she does it. It didn't last long for Mercede.
It is a 'stage' and she will get out of it. Meantime, a loud abrupt NO and removing her from the situation might help. Redirecting her to a teething ring or something appropriate to bite. Timeout for a few minutes too isn't a bad thing. (my kids always come to the defense of whomever is in trouble. They ALWAYS make me feel like a loser.)
My daughter did it when she came home from Taiwan, just from frustration at the language barrier. She didn't have Down Syndrome. It's frustrating. It took 6 months for her to stop.
I don't remember the boys taking that long though. So hopefully this will end quickly.
Good Luck,
Jan
With some of her motor planning difficulties is she confusing kissing and biting? Do the other kids pretend to "eat" her? Doesn't sound like the biting we usually see 'cos kids are frustrated, just seems like it is fun for her. Try showing her lots of kissing with lips closed and see if she can imitate that with lots of praise. Otherwise, sounds like what you are doing is a good approach. Miss my little Ava this week :)
Rachel OTR/L
I have something I have used for bitting. When they bite I put baby oragel in their mouth. It is a oral behavior and a oral result. Some do not like the taste or the feeling and if it is safe for teething it is safe for correction
I've been through this with both of our boys. They did stop, although in the middle of it I was sure they were going to be biting people for the rest of their lives. I was very firm with them and always let them know it was very wrong, but we also have a great tool that can help. Chewy tubes (www.talktools.net)or grabbers (www.beyondplay.com) are GREAT. Whenever our boys bite or grind their teeth, we give them one of those to bite instead. It really does help.
I hope Ava stops biting people soon. Great news on her eating progress!!!!! She is already doing better with textures than Alex...and he's been working on it a lot longer.
You could try giving her one of those gel teething rings, unfrozen, since that would have a similar texture to the people she is biting. :) Let her carry it around with her and put it in her mouth if she bites or when she is likely to bite.
~Rachel, a lurker :)
Charissa, our kiddos do crave the sensory input in their mouths. Use the tubes I sent you for chewing. Also, massage her cheeks and use a toothbrush to massage teeth, gums and tongue. You did the right thing with the time out, she will figure it out. Good luck. Oh, an increase in liquids can help too, many kids with DS will grind their teeth due to dehydration.
We used the chewytubes too. As you know neither of my kids have DS but both has Sensory Intergration disorder (did/am doing brushing with them too).. To make the chewytube not seem like a dog toy to me LOL I attached to to a mini silky blankie by taking a piece of ribbon and running it through the tube and then bring the ends together and sew it to a corner of the blankie. My older one LOVED his chewy blankie and it really helped with the biting.
We had a biter too. We would put him down if we were holding him and then talk like a cave man to him and say "no bite, bite hurt" every time. She will get, it just do what ever you do, every time. She has already proved to us all what a smart girl she can be. Oh you could talk to your therapy teachers about it too. Good luck, Karissa Cunningham
Maybe in your family there is a pet parrot that bites she could play with? This is a hard situation, what my generation recommended would be frowned upon today. Mouth washing, cold showers, how about stepping on toes in the cold? Somehow she needs to feel remorse for what she is doing. Mabye you could get her some boxing rubber teeth...
Ouch! The anonymous poster just ahead of me has some odd suggestions - I hope they were made in jest.
It sounds as if everyone else's ideas are worth trying - I hope this will be a short phase for Miss Ava.
The very serious "No!" responses to her (frown, shake your head and hand, too, since she responds to sign language - make it dramatic but not loud), and removing her from the scene of the "crime" seem like the best responses, along with offering alternative chewies when the biting episode is over, so she won't think that if she bites someone, she automatically gets something fun to chomp on afterwards.
Your family is very sweet - maybe Ava is taking that a little too literally! :-)
FWIW, I have an older cat with a few lingering "attachment issues" from less-than-great previous owners - he sometimes bites, too, when he's overexcited. I do the same thing with him - dramatic but not loud NO, remove him from the trigger or target, calm things down, etc.
I also try to keep his playtimes very attuned to his "mood", and be aware when he is escalating to the gotta-bite-something stage (that sounds extremely silly - a "moody" cat, but I don't know how best to describe him! Usually he's a very sweet and cuddly kitty - but does have a few issues, thankfully diminishing as he regains trust).
Best wishes,
Susan in Ky, whose cousins from Ukraine are en route here right now!
Susan from KY- Who are your cousins from Ukraine? Would I know them from a blog?
Hi Charissa, I never had a biter so I am sorry I can't give any advice. I have been watching your blog and have decided to jump on the train and start my own. I miss hearing from you, I know we are both so busy so I thought i would let you know about my blog so come by and visit it sometime.
http://mmcpherson11.blogspot.com/
Melissa
My son would bite when he was cuddling against my shoulder. I realized that when in his crib he was "loving" his Tigger stuffed animal by biting it. I made sure to have that around when we were cuddling! You could try one of those Taggies blankets. Maybe she would like to bite/chew on that.
Hi kids,
I don't have any suggestions regarding the biting, (ouch!) but I just wanted you to know I'm amazed at Ava's progress. She looked so proud of herself when she sat up alone in the video. The kids look like they're having a great summer, and I miss you all. Hope you're finding some quality time for yourself, too.
Love, Aunt Sharon
"Maybe in your family there is a pet parrot that bites she could play with? This is a hard situation, what my generation recommended would be frowned upon today. Mouth washing, cold showers, how about stepping on toes in the cold? Somehow she needs to feel remorse for what she is doing. Mabye you could get her some boxing rubber teeth..." LOL, is this poster serious? Can't offer too much advice other than letting her know immediately after she bites that it hurts you by pretending to be sad and asking to please not do that.
Hey, Charissa!
Maybe your OT has access to some vibrating chewy toys that can help her satisfy the craving for oral input. Some blow toys are great too but she may need some very simple ones still (great for SO many things) ask your OT about that too for suck/swallow/breathe.
Caleb has decided biting and pulling is great fun while he's nursing! What I've done is flick him on his jaw and tell him "no biting, that hurts mama." and boy does he cry! However, he hasn't done it in 2 days. Quick ouie and then it's done.
Really try not to stress because this is a developmental phase that will pass! It is related to progress in oral motor, social engagement- but also lack of of communication and self control (typically see it between ages 1 and 2). Given her delays she is not likely to understand a time out procedure- especially since her intent is not malicious. Just try to stay out of reach of those teeth, prevent when you can, and when it happens issue a firm "NO BITING" and then redirect. Try to look on the bright side- it really is part of typical developmental progress! Child psychologist here-
First time poster here.... We adopted our children from Ukraine way back in 2002. I love reading your blog! My children were ages 6&1/2 and 7 years old at the time of adoption, but developmentally about 3-4 years old. What we found is they are all over the board developmentally. At one point our daughter asked "Does it bite?" about everything. When I asked the therapist about it she said, "That's a 3-4 year old fear. That's where she is with her fears." Ava is in the biting phase. It's pass. She'll connect the pressure on the cheeks, "NO" and time in crib. It'll just take time.
Good Luck,
Catherine Hendrickson
I agree with others that it is most defnitely a sensory thing as she is exploring and becoming so much more aware of her mouth. Buy a few chewy tubes and teether type toys see which one she prefers, then have it handy at all times to immediately give her when she seems like she is going to bite. Then say "No bite mommy, you need chewy" (or whatever) We do this with our daughter who is VERY chewy. They say chewing is an organizing thing (organizes the sensory system) and also an exploration thing. I would also start having her bite the chewy just throughout the day (like while brushing) so she is getting some regular input into her mouth and sensory system all throughout the day before feeling the need to bite people. Good luck!
Kelly S
Hi, Charissa -
I don't know if you know my cousins - I surfed into your site and found it so charming that I had to continue reading!
I wish I were in a position to adopt myself, but cannot due to my age and single status. I worked with children for 28 years but am retired now, though I still work with visiting children's groups as a volunteer docent at a local historic site(oops - just typed 228 years. Sometimes there were days when it felt that way...;-))
My cousins, AB (Mama) and BB (Papa), live in southern GA, and have two wonderful brown-eyed girls adopted a little over two years ago. Their daughters are S., age 11 1/2, and A. who is nine.\
They left this afternoon after a very busy two days - seeing and petting horses at a horse show, wading in the creek and trying to catch crayfish and minnows, the playground, a movie, a family festival at a local historic home, and more.
I will sleep well tonight, after all our adventures. I think I've gotten more exercise in the last two days than in the last two months.
I hope you understand why I am not using my cousins' full names - they don't have a blog at present, but did have one during their lengthy adoption process. They found their children through the old NAC, but were in Ukraine a VERY long time, with several bad referrals to children who were incorrectly listed as available but who were not, and so on, from September 2005 through early January 2006 (that was the year adoptions got inadvertently shut down by the Ukrainian government in late December, within a week of their finally meeting their children).
They then came home for three or four weeks to prepare for their girls and to wait for the law to be changed, then made a second trip in February - March 2006 to complete their daughters' adoptions and bring them home.
The girls are biological sisters, but had been separated at the end of the preceding summer, when S. was sent to an internot two hours away from her little sister A., and they had not seen one another for seven months. The photos of their reunion still bring tears to my eyes...
They have flourished since coming home, and are doing so well and bringing our family such joy.
Thanks again for your interest - we think our little "Ukrainian Southern Belles" are something really special in our family! (their speech now reflects that nickname - fluent English, but spoken with a slight Russian accent mixed with South Georgia. It's something to hear, all right! :-))
Best wishes to you and your delightful family,
Susan in Ky, planning to sleep late in the morning after all the adventures...
Kallie bit me, once. I bit her back. She never bit me again. No I didn't do it hard, yes I know that most people don't do this and think it's wrong but she KNEW what she was doing and that it wasn't acceptable. Please don't bash me for it.
With all that said, I don't think Ava is doing this to hurt anyone purposefully. I too think she is exploring things. I would say until she knows that the biting is unacceptable the firm NO! would probably get her to understand what she did isn't good. Or maybe remind her, "Ave, don't bite Mommy, bite ____" add in whatever, food, chewy toy, etc so that she can see it is OK to bite certain things just not people.
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