This one is for Shelley

I want my mommy

As usual, I woke up this morning with two kids sprawled sideways in my bed. I said, "Hey, whose bed is this, anyway?" Jude said, "I didn't sleep in it, I just rested in it." I said, "Well, yeah, why don't you just let me rest in YOUR bed and kick YOU all night?" He just giggled.

Hope woke up in the night saying, "I want my mommy!" She had been put to bed by the babysitter last night so we could attend a wedding, and I guess when she woke up at 12:30am she thought I wasn't home yet. Anyway, I laid with her until she went back to sleep, but then a thought plagued me for the rest of the night.....

When an orphan in an orphanage wakes up in the middle of the night, who do they call for? Their favorite caretaker? Their mommy who abandoned them? Or do they just learn not to wake up in the middle of the night? Or do they wake up and not call for anybody? I stayed awake for an hour, bothered by the sad fact that there are so many millions of children who have no mother to comfort them in the night when they wet the bed, have a bad dream, feel cold, feel sick, or, just like my kids, get lonely in the night.

So as all 4 of us laid in our bed this morning (thank goodness it's a king) and talked about this. Hope said, "But Ava has a new mommy and a new daddy, and a brother and a sister now." She was grinning from ear to ear. I feel so blessed.

And then Jude said, "Can we adopt about 10 orphans? We can make the dining room into another bedroom." What a clever boy!

A few people have responded to our adoption news with the question--How do our kids feel about adoption? If they could have been a fly on the wall in our bedroom this morning, they would know for sure!

Another funny kid story

I was telling this story the other day, and realized I had never written it down anywhere. So what better place than here.

Once we had a lizard, a bearded dragon, named Elvis. We named him Elvis because he had some spiky things on the sides of his cheeks (do lizards have "cheeks"?) that reminded me of big sideburns, and so Elvis seemed to be a fitting name for him. Later we realized he was a female, but that is another story. Wow, thinking of that lizard brings back some funny memories. We spent more time looking for him than anything else!

So anyway, one day Elvis turns grey and quits eating. We took him to the vet and found out he was infested with intestinal worms. We did all we could do---dropper fed him, gave him medicine, soaked him in water to hydrate him....but he died.

Several months later there were a bunch of neighbor kids over here, and I heard an argument breaking out, so I went to intervene. One said, "Miss Charissa, isn't it true that Elvis died because he got hit by a car?" And another kid said, "No, he got shot!" So I corrected them both: "Boys, you're both wrong. Elvis died because he had worms." Their jaws both dropped open, and they said, "He had worms?!"

So I went back to my duties, and later I had a thought that I felt like I needed to clarify. I went back to the boys, and I said, "Were you talking about Elvis our lizard, or Elvis the singer?"

It's a good thing I clarified. I can just imagine them going home and telling their parents, "Miss Charissa said Elvis Presley died....of worms."

Halleluyah! It is finished!

The last piece of the puzzle-the medical certificate-has been completed, on letterhead, all the blanks filled in, every line dated, doctor's license number included, signed by a legitimate doctor, and now notarized by a notary whose license will NOT expire before August of 2008.....and is now on its way to Virginia to complete the dossier which will then be reviewed, certified, apostilled, and then finally on its way to Ukraine. Everything is now out of the Urban's hands, and in Dave's, the Lord's and Ukraine's State Department of Adoption!!!

Thursday

The doctor left early on Wednesday. No forms waiting for us at the front desk. We tried real hard to be patient and wait for a phone call today. Finally in the afternoon John called to get an update. The form is now signed, but not notarized. The notary was out today and won't be back until tomorrow....This is almost starting to get funny. An entire week. Check back tomorrow for an update.

But just look at that sweet girl to your right. Isn't she adorable? Doesn't she look like she is just waiting so patiently with her arm stretched up over her head? So cute.

Proverbs the 3rd for October the 3rd

It was very fitting to read Prov. 3:5-6 today. Trust in the Lord with all your strength and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will direct your path. I have peace. They weren't kidding when they said adoption is a "hurry-up-and-wait" process. And they lied when they said adoption is the easy way to have a baby!

Wednesday

No, the Krispy Kreme donuts did not work. All the phone calls have not worked. My sister suggested I schedule a dr's appointment for a "rash" and pay the $30 co-payment for 5 minutes of my doctor's time....hand her the form and say "Please sign this." Or I could ask for my records to be transferred to another doctor and hope they will be more timely. Either way I have to wait on the office. OK so what should I do? My dear sweet husband has so much more character than I, because I fret and worry even after I say I have put it in the Lord's hands. Meanwhile, he has these ideas that the 5 (or more)- day delay with the doctor, just may be the avenue we need to get the documents in the hands of that sweet compassionate SDA worker that I have prayed for. He knows (and I do too) that the Lord has it all under control. While I want to rush things, deep down I know His timing is perfect and we can just rest in His promise and His plan. Sometimes this is easier said than done though. :)

Tuesday

Still waiting on that doctor's signature. John called the office (I'm too scared to now!) and they said it is all filled out and waiting on the doctor's signature. ARGH! This will show you the difference between me and him...While I was imagining how a NON-christian person (not me, of course) might get even...after obtaining the signature obviously....John was trying to think of something nice to deliver up to the office to motivate her to sign it quicker. I guess the 2 dozen Krispy Kreme donuts that he delivered yesterday didn't work, because here we still wait. Waiting and waiting. I keep thinking every time the phone rings it will be her telling me the documents are ready now, and that she is so sorry she has kept us waiting. And that she apologizes that she forgot to document that the TB test was negative. And that she wishes us the best. But no phone calls, and the office will close here in an hour. So maybe she really DID mean Wednesday. 5 days seems like an eternity when a little girl waits in her lonely crib for a family to come and rescue her.

Rigamaroo

Definition: giving someone the runaround; not being straight and to the point; malarky; silliness; rubbish

"Rigamaroo" is the word that my doctor just used to describe what I have put her through. She is not happy that she has to re-do the medical forms. They were not completed correctly the first time, so they were sent back. I brought them to her office on Friday. I called this morning, left a message telling them that our dossier is complete except for this ONE little piece of paper, that just needs TWO lines filled out ("TB test negative", "Patient has no health complications that would interfere with adoption"). That's it!! How long does that take? Evidently, 5 days. She called me back and said she has never been through so much "rigamaroo". She said she has already filled this out and told me she will not even be able to LOOK at it until Wednesday.... she has sick patients to see and that she will not put MY paperwork ahead of her sick patients.

Well I have a sick little patient of my own that I am trying to hurry and get home!

Rigamaroo. What a funny word to use in a mad conversation. I'd probably be laughing if I wasn't crying!!

A typical Saturday at the soccer fields

Moms all around me thought I was clever at the soccer games yesterday for bringing this portable sandbox. I wish I could take credit for the great idea but it was actually from Family Fun magazine, I think. Sure beats chasing toddlers all over the soccer field in the middle of the games. Turns out even 6 year old boys like it too. Hope found a little caterpillar that she named "Wormey Girl" that kept her entertained for the afternoon. But then tragically we lost Wormey Girl. Another clever mom told her maybe Wormey Girl had turned into a butterfly and flew away, and that seemed more satisfying to her than my answer of, "She must have missed her family".

Simeon asked his coach if he could play goalie yesterday. It was his first time, and he really did a fabulous job!

And lastly, here is a cheapskate's version of soccer photos. While parents were filling out checks and forms and ordering plaques, plates, mugs, keychains, I was by a tree with my digital camera with the intent of putting this photo on the blog or emailing it to family and friends! Hey, that is one less piece of clutter I'll have to deal with in a few years. :) With my first child I would have bought the deluxe package, and mailed wallet prints to every family member!

We are approved!

Our checklist for adoption:

1. Choose child-DONE
2. Get passports-DONE
3. Complete I-600A (orphan petition through Immigration)- DONE
4. Complete home study- DONE
5. Federal fingerprints- DONE
6. Complete dossier (all the collected forms and paperwork, plus official application to the foreign government)-DONE
7. INS approval-RECEIVED TODAY!!!!! (This means we have passed the test, and we have been approved to adopt internationally)
8. Apostille (fancy term for official certification) dossier, and mail overseas
9. Wait for in-country appointment date
10. Travel to meet our Ava!

Show and Tell

Friday is show-and-tell day in kindergarten. Each week the kindergartners bring something that starts with the letter of the week. Jude brought a helicopter for "H", a teddy bear for "B", his dog named Matthew for "M". This morning as we were rushing out the door we were frantically brainstorming for an A-item. I started naming things: airplane, apple, alligator, Ava. Jude marched over to the refrigerator, pulled down Ava's picture, and said, "I'm taking Ava". He didn't want to put the picture in his backpack, he wanted to carry her to school. He is already a proud brother!

Ten really great things to say to an adoptive parent

1. That's great!

2. You must be thrilled!

3. Congratulations! When will this special event take place?

4. She is beautiful.

5. You are so lucky.

6. I'm happy for you.

7. Tell me about this special child.

8. I'll be praying for her and you.

9. Tell me more about how adoption works.

10. Do you have a picture?

My thoughts on adoption

Our journey to adoption has been very exciting, emotional, educational, enlightening, and spiritually challenging.

I have always struggled inwardly with being a people pleaser. It became painfully obvious that I needed to let the Lord change my heart when I read "Search for Significance" by Robert S. McGee. For the first time in my life I realized that my addiction to people pleasing was preventing me from being a God-pleaser.

I had hoped everybody would be excited with us for this new child we will be adding to our family. I wish everybody could see that children are indeed a blessing from God, even after #2, and #3, and #4. I wish everyone agreed that a child is special, no matter what their birth order, or gender, or age, or ability, or history. I wish everyone understood that some people want to adopt for reasons other than infertility. I wish, when people ask "WHY", I could explain in words to them how I cannot go through my life, knowing the call God placed on my heart, and someday look back over my life with the regret of not doing what He called me to do. I wish I could make people understand that in our hearts we feel that Jesus has done so much for us, and we just cannot help but be obedient by welcoming a little forsaken child in His name. This is such a great privilege. It's the absolute least we can do for Him and for her!!

My friend Jill said this profound statement the other day: "Our God is efficient. Yes, He wants Ava in your family, but in the process He will be working to refine your heart. So don't be surprised by troubles and worries. God is working to strengthen your faith. Those troubles are simply tools in God's hands."

So the Lord continues to challenge me every now and then. I am learning not to be defensive. A gradual change is taking place in my heart. I wish it would happen overnight. But in the meantime I will expect tests and challenges, and questions, and I thank Him that he is growing me through them. And I hope our family, including Ava, will be an instrument that God will use to change some views on disability, adoption, children, and the value of life in general, in the process.

Miss Fancy

Poor Hope is so bored since her brothers and sisters have been in school. While I have been thoroughly enjoying my time with her, I have also realized how nice it is to have siblings for her to play with. Bless her heart, every day she wants me to play hide and seek, take care of baby dolls, and we even dress up together. Today she draped me with her fancy queen necklace with big purple jewels and she dragged out my fanciest earrings and put them on me. Have you ever noticed that after you wear something for awhile, you forget it's there? Well, we went walking down the street to see if our little neighbor girl could play, and it wasn't until I was home that I realized I was still wearing the fancy jewel necklace and long dangly red earrings. This is with my jeans, t-shirt and no make-up mind you!

Reminded me of the story of my dad looking for a job in college. On his drive to his interview he found a rubberband in his car. He hung it on his ear---Don't ask me why he did this but he did! On his way back home after the interview, he glanced in his rearview mirror and realized the rubber band was still there. I will let you wonder whether he got the job or not.....

The Ultimate Catch 22

One of the steps that must be taken in order to adopt a child, is to have a thorough medical exam by a physician. This exam has to be notarized. So what would you do if you found out, after completing this exam, that the doctor's office does not have a notary public, and refuses to meet you at a bank to have it notarized. And no notary at the bank will travel to the doctor's office to witness the doctor's original signature, then what do you do? Hmmmm.....If anybody has any suggestions, please give them, because we are in a pickle!!

Boys and Forts

Like father like son. While John is building a fort bed for the boys room, Simeon is in the back yard digging a hole and making his own fort. (He is supposed to be handing his father nails and bolts....BUSTED!!)

Cousins

What fun it has been for Liesel and her cousin Evi to play on the same soccer team for 3 seasons in a row! They had a rare win today!!! 11-7. Both Evi and Liesel scored.....Liesel scored 3! I had told her that if she scored 2 goals today I would buy her a Webkin (I knew I would be safe, since she never scored a single goal this season OR last.) So imagine my surprise when she scored 3 today! She told me later it had absolutely nothing to do with the promise of a Webkin, that she wasn't even thinking about Webkinz. (Yeah, right!)

These are a few of my favorite things

This is a towel sling


The girls are making tiny beds for their tiny little teddy bears


The boys are playing Webkinz

Kitty cat kisses

Hope was licking my face. Yes, licking. I said, "STOP licking me!" She said, "But mommy, I'm a kitty cat and I'm giving you kisses!"

Towel swings

We laughed as we thought about how much Ava will love towel swings. John started this when Simeon was a baby. The towel wraps in front under the armpits, and the corners meet in back. The parent grabs both top and bottom corners together in the back, swings the kid all around, airplane style, then throws him or her on the bed, towel and all. I would include a picture, except I don't think we have ever taken a picture, (now that I'm looking for one). I'll grab the camera next time. The kids learned, pretty early on, that you DO NOT want MOM to give you a towel swing, especially over the tile floors, because Mom is neither coordinated or strong enough to hold both ends of the towel together at the same time. Oooops!

This is a test....

I have a suspicion my husband is not reading my blog, even though he SAYS he does....occasionally. Now I will know for sure! The story behind this picture, is that he only got 3 hours of sleep last night. That is 2 hours less than his usual 5 hours of sleep. He laid on the floor to pop his back while Simeon read to him, and 30 seconds later he was asleep. Simeon and I had a good laugh, and then I ran and grabbed the camera!

I saw on some magazine cover, or website recently, that Brad Pitt was considered the "SEXIEST DAD ALIVE". I would have to disagree. I think the man you see above is....without a doubt.... the sexiest dad alive.

We had so much fun today, just the two of us going to get our fingerprints. It really did seem like an extended date, and we got to talk about all kinds of things that we don't normally have a chance to squeeze in with 4 kids constantly interrupting and needing attention. One of the things that came up in conversation was the fact that we really don't want to focus on the fact that Ava will have Down Syndrome. We want to treat her just like any other child. In fact we might want to rename it, "Princess Syndrome", or "Angel Syndrome". I realize Mr. Down discovered this chromosomal disorder, but why did it have to be named after him?!! DOWN syndrome!?

One step closer

We had our fingerprints scanned today at the USCIS office. That stands for United States Citizenship and Immigration Services...I think? Something having to do with immigration anyway. I asked John why we had to do this. Neither one of us have any idea. I guess they have to make sure we are not criminals or terrorists or something? Who knows. I never thought to ask. But it is done anyway. Typically it would take 6 weeks to receive our approval. With "proof" of a medical condition, they can speed it up to 2 weeks or so. It's very difficult to get proof of anything regarding a child we have never seen before, but thankfully we did remember to bring a copy of the letter my doctor wrote, stating that we "hope" to adopt a child that "apparently" has a heart condition that will "apparently" need surgery. That doesn't sound too official, but maybe they will reward our efforts at least! We can pray anyway. :)

Speaking of praying, I have been praying for all kinds of silly things lately. I hope the Lord doesn't mind. I pray that all the forms will get into the hands of very emotionally sensitive women, who are very compassionate and cry at the drop of a hat....and those women will put our papers at the top of the pile! My kids are praying to have Ava home by Christmas, and as we get farther and farther into this adoption, the more realize how unrealistic that really is. Yet the way I see it, it doesn't hurt to ask. After reading a biography about George Mueller as a family about 6 months ago, I have more confidence asking the Lord for things. George Mueller was a man who lived as a missionary to orphans in England in the 1800s. He had such trust in God for every little thing in life, not just for himself and his family but for the orphans in his care as well. Once he sat all the orphans down at the breakfast table, even though there was no food for breakfast that day, and they prayed and thanked the Lord for the food that they were about to receive. Just as they finished praying there was a knock at the door, with loads of freshly baked bread and fresh milk!!

The God George Mueller served is the same God we serve, so why not ask to have Ava home by Christmas! Of course, Andrea reminded me that they don't celebrate Christmas in "Eastern Europe" until the end of January! So maybe we will have her home for "Christmas" after all!

Strange love

It's hard to explain to people how much I already love this daughter whom I have never met. Of course, the question everyone asks, is, "Have you been out there to see her?" Not actually, no. But in my thoughts and dreams I have already held and kissed her a thousand times. I go to bed praying for her every night and wake up every morning wondering whether someone is holding her or whether she is eating or napping (7 hours ahead of us). I realized yesterday that I am not the only one. On our way to church, Simeon said, "Mom I had a dream last night that Ava was at our table eating applesauce." Then Liesel said, "I had a dream about Ava too. I dreamed she ran and fell down and got a big purple bump, but she wasn't crying." Yesterday Hope drew me a picture. She said it was a picture of "Ava in mommy's tummy".

John and I have imagined meeting her for the first time. We will have butterflies for days before, and we know we will cry as we pick her up for the first time. We laugh about the fact that we will be sobbing and laughing at the same time, and she will be thinking, "Who are these strange people and what is wrong with them?!"

Three!

Can she be three already? How well I remember that Friday night 3 years ago. It was a beautiful home birth. She was a beautiful and healthy baby...girl. We had a midwife and no ultrasound, so all of our babies were a "surprise". What a beautiful night that was. And here she is now, all girl, 3 years later!

I did find that pink clown. Here she is, Sweet Pea. Sweet Pea is 20 years old and today was her first real clown gig. She was perfect!

Cheap entertainment (very cheap)!

It was a fun evening with the cousins. They stayed the night so their parents could have the night to themselves. After watching Napoleon Dynamite for the 37th time, they all did their impressions of Napoleon's dance, then we had fun with scotch tape. Who ever thought scotch tape could provide so much entertainment?

Baby Hope and Baby Ava

Here is the picture Hope drew for me. It is "Big Mommy" holding "Baby Hope' and "Baby Ava". I look like I have some sort of thyroid disorder, not to mention I'm balding on top, but I think it is a beautiful picture anyway!

"Making art"

This is the conversation I had with Hope tonight:

Hope: "Mommy, at my 'chool some boys laughed at me."
Me: "Really? And what did you do?"
Hope: "I just laughed at them too"
Me: "Then what happened?"
Hope: "We made out."
Me: "YOU WHAT?!"
Hope: "We made out."
Me: "You made out?!"
Hope: "NO! We made OUT."
Me: "You made art?"
Hope: "Yeah, we made out (art)"

Whew!!!!

A new bed for Ava

I rearranged the girls' room and made a space for Ava with a toddler bed I found at a garage sale this morning. It looks so cute with the blanket you made for her, Oma! Thank you! It fits perfect and matches too. I'm not sure if she'll be able to sleep in it right away but it's nice to know she has her "own" space now. In case you were wondering, our bedrooms are always this clean! :)

The other night during our family devotions we were talking about how things will change when Ava is part of our family. Jude got pretty defensive, and said, "But Mom, Ava ALREADY IS part of our family!"

Great timing!

Look what Jude lost last night....just in time for school pictures today!

The dangers of multitasking...

I read a book once to learn how to manage my time better, and be more efficient in my housework, etc. One chapter was titled "Microwave Moments", and gave examples of how to make better use of one's time. For example, while waiting for your popcorn to pop, you can wipe down the kitchen counters, or while brushing your teeth, you can wipe down your bathroom sink and counters. Another good idea is to clean the shower while you are in it. You get the idea. It's brilliant...

....Unless you have signs of alzheimers disease, or too many children to keep track of. For example, I learned NOT to run and quickly throw a load of clothes in the washing machine while filling up the kitchen sink with water for mopping. I learned once NOT to go check the mail while waiting for a quesadilla to finish warming. Today I learned NOT to clean a bathroom while waiting for a toddler to find a hiding spot for hide-and-seek. Attached is a picture of how I found her in her favorite hiding spot...under her bed.

Special Needs

Special needs....Why would we voluntarily sign up to be the parents of a child with "special needs"? After all, hasn't every expectant parent said, "We don't care if it's a boy or a girl as long as it's healthy!"

All I can say, is that ever since I was a little girl (ask my parents), I used to want to adopt handicapped children. I believe the Lord put that on my heart from a very early age. I remember going to visit the orphanages with my missionary parents in Mexico, and seeing so many deformed and disabled children. A missionary friend of my parents had adopted 3 boys, one who was born with a terrible skin disease as a result of being a product of incest. He had a cleft palate/lip, and basically had no skin. He constantly had infections all over his body, and ended up dying at the age of 10. This made an impact on my life. Later I babysat for a boy who had fallen off the roof when he was 2 years old, and suffered severe brain damage as a result. I adored him and he loved me too! In college I volunteered in a school for handicapped children and worked in a group home for mentally retarded adults. It was my favorite job ever.

So poor John, when we first talked about marriage, I told him of my desire to adopt. Not just adopt, but adopt a child that nobody else would want. He said he would be "open" to it. It came up again in our pre-marriage counseling, and again, he said he was "open" to it. So....4 healthy children later, I still had that strong desire to adopt. Last winter during basketball season, Liesel had a girl on her team who had a younger 4 year old sister with Down Syndrome. While we waited for practice to be done, little H. and I would talk and smile at each other (actually, I talked, and she smiled). After a few practices, I came home one night and told John I wanted to adopt a child with Downs. Maybe he thought I was kidding, he didn't really respond. I told him again. He didn't say much.

After a few sleepless, tearful nights and a lot of tears shed during my quiet times, I began to "google" special needs adoption, specifically Down Syndrome adoption. I was very surprised to find out that in the U.S. there is a 200+ family waiting list to adopt a child with Down Syndrome! (even though 85-90% of fetuses diagnosed with Downs are aborted!! So sad). But I also learned that it is just the opposite in many other countries. Children born with DS or any other disability, in some countries, are abandoned 99% of the time, and are rarely adopted! So...I found my new favorite website reecesrainbow.com My new favorite person, Andrea, is dedicated to promote the international adoption of children with Down syndrome as well as other disabilities. I emailed her many many times, and learned about many of the children that were waiting. Well John was still not QUITE ready, but still "open" as he always had been before. ("Open", as long as the child was high functioning, no medical concerns, no heart defect, etc.)

Then....June 15....I will never forget that day. There was an email sent from Kelly, a humanitarian aide who had visited Alina several times in her little orphanage. She told the group about this sweet little girl who lays in her crib day and night. She can't crawl, she can't even sit up, but she has a smile that lights up the room. She can't talk or feed herself, but she giggles when you tickle her. She has a heart defect and will need surgery. She is 3 1/2. The policy of the country where she lives, is to send the unadopted handicapped orphans to a mental institution, where most will die soon afterward. She had 6 months before she would be sent there to die. I forwarded the email to John, knowing this little girl would not fit our "qualifications", and spent the rest of the day crying and praying for God to bring her a family that would save her from that awful, awful place, and love her forever.

Little did I know what the Lord was doing in John's heart as well when he received the same email. I will never forget the moment he called, and I thought he had been crying as well. He said, "I want her, do you?" YES!!! I DO!!! My heart was pounding as I typed to Andrea: We want her. Please help us through this. We are scared, but we KNOW God will give us the strength to get through every step!

About a week later, in a moment of panic, John opened his Bible and he read:

1 Peter 3: 13-17, which reads " 13 Who is going to harm you if you are eager to do good? 14 But even if you should suffer for what is right, you are blessed. "Do not fear what they fear[a]; do not be frightened."[b] 15 But in your hearts set apart Christ as Lord. Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect, 16 keeping a clear conscience, so that those who speak maliciously against your good behavior in Christ may be ashamed of their slander. 17 It is better, if it is God's will, to suffer for doing good than for doing evil."

We both felt this was the most perfect confirmation from the Lord that we were indeed in His will, and that He would bless our faith in accepting the challenge and the adventure that He was offering us.

So why would we take on a special needs child? Well, my response to that is.... I believe EVERY child has "special" needs if the parents will take the time to discover them. For that matter, don't we all have special needs? I do! Some are apparent from the outside and others are hidden deep in the heart. Either way, Jesus offers healing, deliverance. He wants to be Ava's Saviour, and mine. And yours.

A twist on the Beatitudes

(Jill I stole this from one of your friend's blogs)

Beatitudes for People with Special Needs

BLESSED ARE YOU who take time to listen to difficult speech, for you help us to know that if we persevere we can be understood.

BLESSED ARE YOU who walk with us in public places, and ignore the stares of strangers, for in your friendship we feel good to be ourselves.

BLESSED ARE YOU who never bid us to "hurry up" and, more blessed, you who do not snatch our tasks from our hands to do them for us, for often we need time rather than help.

BLESSED ARE YOU who stand beside us as we enter new and untried ventures, for our unsuredness will be outweighed by the times when we surprise ourselves and you.

BLESSED ARE YOU who ask for our help and realize our giftedness for our greatest need is to be needed.

BLESSED ARE YOU who help us with the graciousness of Christ, for often we need the help we cannot ask for.

BLESSED ARE YOU when, by all things, you assure us that what makes us individuals is not our particular disability or difficulty but our beautiful God-given personhood which no handicapping condition can confine.

REJOICE AND BE EXCEEDINGLY GLAD for your understanding and love have opened doors for us to enjoy life to its full and you have helped us believe in ourselves as valued and gifted people.

3-pound watermelon

In kindergarten the kids were supposed to estimate the weight of a watermelon. When I peeked into the classroom I could see some kids guessed 1000 pounds, some guessed 10 pounds. Jude guessed the lowest, only 3 pounds. The actual weight was 20 pounds. When I asked him today about it, he said, "Well, it was only 3 pounds to me because I'm so strong."

crazy legs

Hope wanted me to carry her through the school parking lot. I said, "Why can't you just walk?" She said, "Because my legs are just crazy".

Speaking of Princesses....

Hope is having a birthday soon. She will be 3. She has been telling everyone she is having a pink clown come to her party. So what is a mother to do but locate a "pink clown" to attend the party? Anybody know of one that is cheap? She loved Huffy, who came to our neighbor's party last year, and for a year she has been telling everyone that Huffy will be coming to her party. Then just a few weeks ago she decided that since Huffy is a boy clown, he won't like princess parties, so we are going to have a girl clown! So I guess she has this thing all planned out....the problem is, everytime she gets mad at someone, she says they can't come to her "boat-day party". Today she said, "Daddy, you can't come to my boat-day party anymore". Then soon afterwards, I was un-invited to her boat-day party, too. By the end of the day, I think the only one who is still invited is the pink clown that we haven't tracked down yet!

Fluffy Gonzales

Hope found a dead cicada, or was it a locust? I have no idea if there is a difference. It was a big winged bug. She picked it up and carried it around all day, and named it "Fluffy" Gonzalez. I have no idea where she came up with a name like Fluffy Gonzalez. By the end of the day, the bug had become "Princess Fluffy Gonzalez".

Kids are funny

After we rolled the car window back up after dumping some coins in the fireman's boot (donation for Jerry's Kids, MDA), Simeon asked, "Why don't they just get jobs?!"

Our weekend guest

A couple more pictures of Coco, our weekend guest....

A Weekend Surprise

The wonderful guy I married decided that since the kids would be out of school on Friday we should plan a fun surprise weekend getaway. We picked them up from school on Thursday (with all the suitcases packed in the back of the suburban, covered with blankets), and told them we'd have some errands to run. They kept asking where we were going. We said to the dairy (the errand they hate the most, because it takes 30 minutes to get there). We drove and drove, and "got lost". So we stopped for dinner at Pizza Hut, stopped to see the scenery along the way, then "turned around to come home". About 9pm everyone had gone to sleep, and at 9:30 we arrived in Branson. We woke the kids up as we pulled into the hotel parking lot. They were so confused. They kept asking "Are we still lost? Are we in Bartlesville?" It was so fun to hear their squeals when they finally figured out we were in Branson and would be going to Silver Dollar City the next day!

It just so happened, too, that Liesel was the student of the week, and part of that entails bringing home the second grade class "pet", a stuffed cheetah named Coco. So Coco had the privilege of being our weekend guest, and actually got into the amusement park for free, although he wasn't tall enough to ride most of the rides. We did, however, sneak him on a couple of the milder ones. Evidently, cheetahs have weak stomaches (We also learned, just in the nick of time that cheetahs can't swim). We had loads of fun, especially considering that most of the kids were in school, and there was never a wait for any of the rides!

I do have to say, that we all kept feeling like someone was missing, and kept talking about how things would be different when we come back next year (maybe) with Ava. In the car, we wondered where Ava would sit (Hope said on HER lap), and we realized we would have to separate on the Lost River of the Ozarks, as the raft only seats 6, and Liesel took note that Ava would not be able to ride Fire in the Hole, because nobody with heart trouble is allowed to ride. We also realized we may have to get a suite next time, as there were too many kids and too many blankets sprawled all over the floor in the hotel room to get to the bathroom in the middle of the night! Life is exciting in the Urban's house....and about to get more exciting!

Tears again

I just got back from the Open House of Ava's future school for disabled children, "The Little Lighthouse". I knew this was a great school. I volunteered there for lunchtime feeding when I was in college. But I had a whole new perspective today. A mother's perspective. I still can't believe I will get to be the mother of one of these special kids!! Oh, the wonderful resources we will have when we become the official parents of Ava!

Hope kept asking me, "Mommy, what is that? What is that for?", pointing to all the special chairs and walkers. Things I had never seen before! We got to peek into the classrooms where the children were doing their physical therapy, rolling and crawling on mats on the gym floor, coloring at the table. We saw kids with hearing aides, kids with walkers, kids in wheelchairs, kids on the floor on boppy pillows. Of course the ones who really caught my attention were the ones with Down Sydrome. One little girl was playing peek-a-boo with her teacher, and there was another little girl learning how to hold a crayon and draw with it, and a little boy rocking himself in a teeny tiny rocking chair...

Then there was a luncheon with a video about how the school started 35 years ago. A woman named Marcia Mitchell (you can read her book, Milestones and Miracles) had a child who was blind, and there was no resources for her here in Tulsa. So she and another mother started this school, and several others have been modeled after it. One of the staff members is going to move back to the Phillipines where she is from to start one there too! The best part of the whole thing is...it's offered at no cost. It is run off of private donations only, and they do not accept any government funding. I sensed God's presence so strong today...in a special little place called....The Little Lighthouse.

blue crayons

Evidently a blue crayon went through the washing machine. I say "evidently" because I never actually saw the blue crayon, or even remnants of a crayon wrapper for that matter, but only little multiple blue "waxy" stains all over the clothes that I washed yesterday. I wish I would have discovered it after the first load, but I only discovered it after the second load. I still can't figure where this crayon came from but I can't figure out what else it would be causing blue spots all over the kids' BRAND NEW school clothes. Let's just say, there is a reason I shop Good Will and consignment. I would be really upset right now otherwise! Anyone know how to remove blue crayon stains?

Changes

I can't believe how much easier my life has gotten these last couple of weeks. I had no idea how loud and how busy my house was until I realized how quiet it could be when there are only two people in it. I have been home schooling my kids since the very beginning. And I could never understand why, at 4:00 when the neighbor kids got off the school bus, they would run straight to OUR house instead of going home to eat their own snacks or say hello to their mother!

This is our first year to try "real" school. I halfway worried all summer, and cried 3 times during the open house. I'm sure 4th grade teachers are not used to see mothers crying during Open House!! HA Embarrassing!

But they all seem to be adjusting really well. I really expected some "bumps", some phone calls home, or tears while being dropped off. But....nothing so far. Praise God for an easy transition! In fact, they all decided they wanted to ride the school bus!! Sad for me, but I can imagine how much fun it would be for a 6 year old boy to get to ride in a giant yellow vehicle with a bunch of other kids....without a seatbelt at that! So we worked out a compromise. Let me tell you how scary and weird it was watching my kids get on the school bus with this total stranger...as nice as I'm sure he is. :) Here is a picture of their first day riding the school bus!

Recipe for Living to be 100 years old

I just got back from the school. I had to deliver 2 lunchboxes that got left at home! In Liesel's hallway are displayed the kids' writing assignments for last week: "My Recipe for Living to be 100".

It was really hilarious to read all the second graders' thoughts on this. Most of the answers were related to exercising and what you eat. A lot of apples, a lot of grapefruits, riding your bike 3 times a week, walking every day. The class clown wrote, "Eating stinky tennis shoes", someone else wrote, "Going to San Antonio". Here is what Liesel wrote:

My Recipe for Living to be 100

Love God Forever
Never talk to strangers
Don't run away
Eat a lot of apples

Precious boy

My kids eat a lot! Seems that every 5 minutes someone is "starving" in my house. In a typical moment of 4 kids begging me for a snack from the "snack basket" at 4:35pm as I am trying to set the table and prepare dinner, or telling me they are dying of thirst as we drive down the highway 5 minutes from home, I informed them: YOU ARE NOT STARVING. YOU ARE NOT DYING OF THIRST. A PERSON CAN SURVIVE FOR 3 WEEKS WITHOUT FOOD AND 3 DAYS WITHOUT WATER. YOU ARE NOT STARVING.

For so many months we have prayed for the orphans of the world, then prayed about adopting one, and ever since we have made the decision to adopt, my kids have been under the impression that we are saving up our money to "buy" her. I guess I should explain, but it is so cute to hear their prayers and the funny thoughts that go through their mind through this adoption process. We have talked about various ways we could cut back in order to put more towards the adoption fund. Tonight John and I were looking at the food budget, trying to do better on grocery spending, and he mentioned how much he loves beans and rice, and maybe we could do like the people of Mexico and just eat them all the time....We would REALLY save money that way!

Well Jude, bless his heart was overhearing this conversation, and he said, "Hey Dad, I know.....Lets just not buy any food! We could survive 3 weeks without food! That way we could buy Ava sooner!"

Waiting

I always thought I was a patient person. But I can't believe how slowly the time is going by as we wait for our INS approval. We submitted our I-600A forms over 2 months ago.

I still look at Ava's picture at least a dozen times a day, and I wonder if anyone is holding her or loving her. I wonder if she even understands the concept of belonging to someone, and I wonder if she longs for a mother as much as I am longing for her.

Jesus, please let her feel your love and our love for her while she waits for us. Thank you for being her Shepherd and hearing her needs even when she can't speak them. Let her rest peacefully in your presence until I can rock her in my arms. Keep her heart strong until we can come rescue her and get her the medical help she so desperately needs. Thank you for being her Father these years that she hasn't had one. We feel so honored that you would offer this child to us. We gladly receive her into our hearts and into our family. In the good times we will thank you for the joys she brings us and in the difficult times we will be blessed because we will be doing as unto YOU. We will do our best to be your hands and arms and voice to her. We consider it a privilege to call Ava...."ours". You have done so much for us, and we are now happy to offer to you the gift of a family to your little lamb Ava, who you love so much.

The Greatest Hunger

"Being unwanted, unloved, uncared for, forgotten by everybody, I think that is a much greater hunger, a much greater poverty than the person who has nothing to eat."

-Mother Teresa

Every Child Has a Name

I am the Good Shepherd. I know my sheep as the Father knows me. And My sheep know Me.(Jn 10:14)

The Sheperd knows His sheep. He calls them by name.

We see a crowd, we see exactly that, a crowd...We see people, not persons, but people. A herd of humans. A flock of faces. That's what we see.

But not so with the Shepherd. To Him, every face is different. Every face is a story. Every face is a child. Every child has a name...

The Shepherd knows His sheep. He knows each one by name. The Shepherd knows you. He knows your name. And He will never forget it.

Max Lucado

Children are a gift from God

I got teary-eyed when I received this gift from Melissa and Sharon, our house guests from Virginia Beach. "Children are a Gift from God." Look closely at the names cross-stitched at the bottom. :)What a warm and beautiful feeling I had when I read this.

I really appreciated the timing of this gift, as that very morning I took Hope to the car wash to vacuum out the vehicle. I kept wondering why the suction was lasting so long. After all, I had only put in 3 quarters. I kept vacuuming though, even though technically I could have been finished. I didn't want to waste any suction! I finally realized that Hope had gotten ahold of my coin purse, and had been dropping in the coin slot all my quarters....and dimes...and nickels, and pennies. When I looked in the slot to see if I could retrieve any of my quarters, I saw that she had stuffed 3 bills in there as well!!! Yep! Children are a blessing! She was trying to be helpful!

Charlie and the Chocolate Factory

Jude is 6 now. More than anything else, he wanted the movie, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. So we built the whole party theme around it. I feel like I NEVER want to see OR EAT chocolate EVER again! (Although, knowing me, I will surely change my mind tomorrow). Happy Birthday Jude!

9 fingernails

Simeon has only 9 fingernails. The 10th one is in a ziplock bag with his first teeth and a lock of hair from his first haircut. We were at the Koens house on Friday, and the boys were scootering and skateboarding up and down the bike ramp. He had a really bad wipeout. He didn't cry. He did, however, hyperventilate (I taught him labor breathing-he says "that really does work!"). His friends were pretty impressed with how tough he was. Amazing how well a 9 year old boy can control his emotions when his reputation is at stake. :)

6 in the morning

Tomorrow is Jude's 6th birthday. He will be up at 6 in the morning wearing his backpack around the house for an hour and a half. How do I know this? Because he has been up every day for the past week at 6 am wearing his backpack around the house, asking, "Is it a school day?'

Little Light House

There is a little christian school in town for handicapped children. We put Ava on the 12-18 month waiting list! I am so excited about the opportunities for children with special needs, right here in this area. I am looking forward to the many friends we will meet along the way. Also found out the soccer league the kids are on has a special needs-team. I just picture her in a few years, in pigtails, cleats, and shin guards, kicking that soccer ball around!

If I had a million dollars...

Liesel told me that on her first day of school, the second graders had to finish  the sentence:

"If I had a million dollars...."

I asked her what she wrote. She said, "I would adopt 10 kids!" I thought this was so cute. Hope goes around everyone telling the people at Walmart, the bank, etc, "We are adopting a little girl named Alina, and I get to be her sister."

The guy I married

I couldn't nap this afternoon for the hollering in the backyard. I looked out to see what all the commotion was....

Longing for her

We received new pictures of Ava a few days ago. The Bedfords are in the same country adopting a little boy from the same orphanage. They were able to sneak a few pictures during nap time while she was asleep. I was relieved to find out that the lights were out and there was poor lighting. For a few days we thought her heart had deteriorated rapidly...but....thankfully, just bad lighting. Shelley said she was pale and thin, but still seemed relatively healthy considering she is in an orphanage in a third world country! Shelley said she kissed her and held her hand for us, and told her that her mommy and daddy would be coming for her soon. She said she smiled the biggest, prettiest smile. I can't wait to see that smile myself, and touch those pretty little cheeks, and hold her. It seems like an eternity to wait for everyone else to do their paperwork. I would have her right now if I could. 

A good quote

By Frederick Buechner

"Calling. The place where your deepest gladness and the world's deepest need meets."

New friends

We went to our first "Parents of Down Sydrome" support group tonight. Parents were very informative and helpful (and the kids adorable!). Our kids talked all the way home about all the little friends they met. They cannot wait to have their sister home! I am thankful for new friends who have already done all the grieving, question-asking, researching....so we don't have to. I am amazed at the resources these kids have available to them. I have a whole list of acronyms to Google tonight...education, therapy, sports programs, Special Olympics. There was a man with DS who was our speaker. He is 32 years old, and spoke about Special Olympics had helped him become who he is today. He seemed so....INTELLIGENT....and then he came and sat down by his mom, gave her a big kiss on the cheek, and then turned around in his seat and started smiling and making faces at a set of infant twins behind him. Such a sweet, sweet man! I was so glad to see this person, whose life some may not value, making such an impact on the lives around him. What a privilege it was to meet Chris tonight!

LOOK!!!!

http://www.reecesrainbow.com/sponsorurban.htm

We knew as soon as we made the commitment to adopt Ava that God would provide every penny of the finances. I'm not sure why we were so confident, we just knew that He would. Honestly, we began to think of ways to "save" up some money...John working another job on the side, possibly selling one vehicle. We got on a budget and started trying to cut out any spending that was not really necessary. We decided to have a garage sale, and had several friends, neighbors and some family members donate items to sell, and we even had a couple of people walk up to us and hand us cash towards the adoption!!! Well, we were so grateful! And then, out of the blue we received an email from a christian family whom we had never met!They heard about our plans to adopt a child with special needs. They were impressed to help us! It sounded too good to be true, and yesterday.... a check for $4,000 was deposited into our Reece's Rainbow account!!! (Yes, $4,000 from ONE family wanting to honor God by giving towards our family's adoption of Ava!!!). We are so humbled by God's goodness to our family, and this "anonymous" family's obedience to Him. He really does answer prayers.... Thank you God!

First Day of School!!

Here are the kiddos on their first day of school...ever! We have homeschooled from the very beginning, and for some reason, felt that this was the year to experience "real school". Looking back now, I believe the Lord knew that we all needed a little break, and I am looking forward to spending some time bonding with Hope before the new little one arrives. Also, with traveling overseas, we will be glad someone else will not have to be responsible for homeschooling in addition to everything else!

Why are we doing this??!!

One of the things I hope to accomplish through this blog is to answer some questions that some may have....mainly, "Why would you want to adopt a handicapped child when you have 4 healthy children already ?" A few have asked outright, and many more have probably just wondered. Number one, we believe God has not called us to seek a life of ease and comfort, but rather a life of serving others. It is very plain in scriptures that we are to "lay down our lives" (Jn. 15:12-13) for others, and "honor one another over ourselves"(Rm 12:10). We believe there is not a better way to practice that than by having a special-needs child in our family. We can't change the whole world, but hopefully by obedience to God we can impact one child's life...forever.

It is estimated that there are 150,000,000 orphans in the world!!! (Yes 150 million). Here in America we cannot grasp that concept. I just have to believe that if there really are 150 million orphans, there HAS to be 150 christian million families open to receiving just one child into their family.  Ps. 68:5 He sets the lonely in families. We hope that by receiving a handicapped child into our family, maybe others will be moved to receive a healthy one into theirs. After all Matthew 18:5 says, "Whoever welcomes a child in my name welcomes Me." I do not believe adoption is for everyone, but I read a statistic that only 4-6% of those who have considered adoption ever go through with it. It is sad to think of the 94% of christian families who are missing their calling, and the millions of orphans who suffer because of it. 

The girls doing their part

The girls are selling lemonade and soda at the garage sale, hoping to help bring their sister home. I was moved as each of the kids went through their favorite toys and brought them to the garage to help bring their sister home (I shouldn't mention that they ate all the snacks that they were supposed to be selling). :)

Our adoption fundraiser garage sale

We asked a few friends and neighbors to donate unwanted items from their attics or garages toward our "adoption fundraiser" garage sale...We made $1,700 when it was all said and done!!! Thank you to friends who donated! I am so glad John thought to take a couple of funny pictures of our yard Saturday at 6 am! What a garage sale it was!!!

Our home study

Here is Hope imitating our social worker during our home visit.

Frogtopia

Liesel and a friend collected little tiny frogs today, and built a "Frogtopia" sandcastle. They had a wedding, complete with the "JUST MARRIED" sign....Hoppy Loves Anna. She even trained the little one to "wink" at her when she held it just right. Here is a picture of Hoppy.

What we're good at

As I was in the shower this morning I was trying retrace our steps toward adoption. I remember, as any good homeschooling mom would do, trying out different activities for the kids, to see what they'd excel in. We tried karate... everybody dreaded going every week. But I remember the night one of the kids in the class threw up and all my kids gathered around, bringing paper towels, trash cans and mops to help him. We tried gymnastics. I can't say anyone necessarily was a "natural gymnast" but they all wanted to befriend the boy who was born with one arm and adopted from (Korea?). Then, in soccer, I'll never forget a mother whose son was mentally retarded, came up to me, and commented how well my kids played with her son. Most kids, she said, were afraid of him, and didn't know how to respond. So as I was in the shower this morning, I realized, that through each of these activities, we learned what we as a family would be good at...caring for others in need.  I contacted pediatrician's offices, and a school for special needs kids to ask how we can be involved in volunteering with kids with special needs. Sorry, they said, everyone in our family would have to be 16 or older to volunteer. That would be a long time to wait to volunteer, I concluded. So we'll do it our own way! Adoption!

Baby Ava

Hope named her baby doll Ava. She pushes her all around in the stroller, and takes her with us on all our errands. It was especially cute watching her "change Ava's diaper". Can't wait!

God is good

We sense the Lord's hand and direction. He is blessing us beyond what we expected! We made $1,700 on our garage sale (thanks to friends, neighbors, co-workers, family who donated items from their garages). Then, out of the blue, we were contacted by a christian family who heard about our plans to adopt a child with special needs. They want to sponsor us!!! Total strangers, stirred in their hearts to bless another christian family taking a step of faith to rescue a needy orphan! THANK YOU GOD! He is so good. We really believed deep down that He would provide for us, but honestly we thought that would be by selling a vehicle, or by working overtime. Little did we know what He had in mind! :) We are humbled, and in awe, by His love and goodness towards His people.